I keep her back pressed to my front and push the stairwell door open with my back before leading us inside. I pinch her nose with my hand, all while keeping her mouth covered at the same time, her body thrashing wildly against me.
When her body sags against mine, I release her. Mary sucks in a deep, hiccupping breath. I spin her around and push her against the brick wall. My hand wraps around her throat, but not enough to leave any marks or cut off her oxygen. Again.
"I want you to tell me why you're leaving, Mary." She shudders.
I lower my hand, dragging it slowly down her chest, making sure my fingers graze against her hardened nipples. She gasps but doesn't look away. The lower my hand gets, the more I realize this is fucking wrong. I'm supposed to be ignoringher, erasing her from my memory. Instead, I find my fingers unbuttoning her jeans and sliding under the waistband.
"Seb." Her voice comes out breathy, and in her eyes, I can see her fighting her need and attraction for me—but she won't stop me, even if she hates me.
I push past the hem of her panties, and she closes her eyes. I don't even fight my own groan when my fingers feel the wetness already there.
I run my finger along her opening, and she holds back a moan when I enter a single finger. "Moan for me, Mary. Tell me how good only I can make you feel." I whisper into her ear, and her hips buck. I bring my leg up, shoving my thigh between hers to keep them open for me.
This time, when I move my finger along her clit, she can't hold in the moan. My fingers stroke her until she's squirming against the wall, but she still fights it. Her nails dig into the skin on my arm, but I don't stop—I need to feel her come on my fingers. I need it desperately.
"So needy. I'm not surprised, honestly. I know you like being used and abused. Isn't that right?" The color drains from her face, and I know I hit a nerve.
Good.
Just because my fingers are buried in her pussy doesn't mean I'll move on. Not a fucking chance. She doesn't say anything as I pinch her clit, and it sends her over the edge. An orgasm washes over her, the walls of her pussy clench around my fingers, then I slide them out and bring them to my mouth.
God, she tastes like heaven. Something I've always been addicted to.
Mary looks down at the ground and embarrassment washes over her face.
"Don't be embarrassed, Little Rebel. We all do things we regret. And me? My regret was ever meeting you."
Chapter 9
Mary
Seb'swordslingerinmy mind for the rest of the day and well on into the week. I see him in passing. I see him in class. But he pretends as if I'm dead. Not that I blame him. I can't keep my eyes from staying glued to him the entire time he's in my line of sight, just wanting to see a flicker of the man he was before I broke him—but I never do. The hurt I put him through broke him thoroughly. There is no happiness left in his eyes, no smile on his handsome face. Only reservation. And it's all because of me. On the chances he's not ignoring me, he's being a complete asshole—like fingering me in the stairwell for fun.
It's the closest I've been to him in the past six months. I'm not sure what came over him or me that day. How having his hands on me didn’t send me into a panic attack. I want to know what drove him to crowd me and do what he did, but I can't lie and say it didn’t feel as if a giant weight had been lifted from my chest when his hands touched me, when he whispered hurtful thingsinto my ear. I don't care what he said. All I could think about at that moment was that Seb was touching me.
Was I completely humiliated? Absolutely. I felt like scum after he left the stairwell, leaving me with all my thoughts… but it was the first time I'd felt something other than pain in the past six months. He kept me grounded in reality the whole time. No thought of Tyler and Anthony came to mind. It was only him and his hands on my body. Seb makes me feel safe, even now. He might hate me, but I know he would never hurt me.
Pushing through the crowd of people, I head toward the library once again. Buying this bus ticket out of town is the only thing on my mind. It doesn't take more than five minutes before I'm jogging up the steps and pulling the door open. The scent of old books and whatever air freshener the librarian uses floods my nose, and I relax, knowing I'm safer in here than out there.
I walk directly to the tables in the back where no one usually is. I have no idea where to go, but at this point, anywhere will be better. I plop down in a chair, pull out my phone, and scroll through all the options on the website before choosing a random town in Ohio. I thought that once I entered my payment information and pressed the submit button, I'd feel some relief. But I don't. Nothing feels right about this.
A message comes through just as I exit the website, Maddie’s name flashing at the top. No doubt she's texting me about game night tonight at Ace's house, but I have no genuine interest in going.
Unfortunately, I don't think it's something I'll be able to get out of.
Definitely not once I tell them I leave in the morning.
Maddie: Maryyyyyy. I'm coming over.
Tate: Pregaming at Mary's? Sounds fun. I'll bring vodka.
Maddie: Great idea. See you guys in twenty.
I don't bother replying before standing and grabbing my bag.
Guess I'm pregaming.
One last game night sounds like the right way to go.
