***
I find Maddie and Tate sitting on the floor in the hallway by my dorm room, talking in hushed tones until they see me. Maddie is the first to shoot up from her place on the floor. Tate follows seconds later.
“Finally,” Maddie says dramatically, even though it’s been maybe five minutes since they texted me at the library.
“Have I ever told you how impatient you are?” I ask, pulling my keys from my pocket and unlocking my door.
We enter my room, and I'm glad I cleaned up before class this morning. The battle with depression makes it hard even to shower some days, let alone clean my room.
“Yes. You have—multiple times. Doesn’t help though.” She smirks.
Tate doesn’t waste any time before popping open a bottle of vodka and downs at least three shots worth, and then passes it on to Maddie, who does the same.
"Fuck, that's nasty." She hands the bottle to me, and I hesitate. It's been exactly six months since I've had any alcohol. Part of me wants to escape everything that game night has to offer, andvodka might be precisely what I need—but I can't bring myself to do it.
I shake my head no, and she doesn't push.
Neither Tate nor Maddie knows what happened that night. They know something happened, but I could never bring myself to admit it out loud. Even to this day, I would rather pretend that what Tyler and Anthony did was all in my head.
I need to tell them I'm leaving tomorrow. A fresh start at a new college and nothing from my past to keep holding me down. It's now or never, and I think not saying goodbye to them would kill me just as much as it would hurt them. So, while they’re pulling makeup and clothes out of their bags, I shout the words out before I can change my mind.
"I'm leaving Eldridge tomorrow. My bus leaves at 8 a.m." I turn and pretend to be busy with something on the small dresser in front of me, hoping they won't even comment.
The room is deadly silent. Not even the sounds of their breathing fill the room anymore.
"Mary," I can hear the pain already lingering in Tate's voice. I turn, my nails digging into my palms. The pain helps keep me grounded. I can't let myself fall apart. My eyes are still trained to the ground because I know the second I look up, I'm going to snap.
"Mary, you can't leave." This time it's Maddie. The thickness in her voice makes my heart splinter a tad more.
Fuck.
I hate this.
"I'm sorry, but I have to." And this time, I look up, finding both their eyes full of tears. Maddie nods, knowing this will be for the best. She knows how broken I've been since everything. Tate looks like she's seconds away from protesting but thinks twice.
"You know what, it'll be fine. We can keep in touch. I'll steal Damon's car to come visit." A smile that doesn't quite reach hereyes takes over her beautiful face, and I give her a matching one back.
"Our last game night together," Maddie says.
"Our last game night," I repeat.
One last night.
Chapter 10
Mary
Theboomingbassfromthe speakers reverberates through my chest. Maddie might not have had to force me out of my dorm room physically, but I definitely complained about not wanting to go.
I haven't attended very many parties since what happened six months ago, only a handful that I usually ended up leaving early. But as we were about to go, I tried to back out. Obviously, I didn't win, and Maddie lectured me about "exposure therapy" or some bullshit.
The distinct scent of spilled beer and liquor is the first thing to catch my attention. The bitter tang of cheap cologne mixed with stale cigarettes fills my lungs. Around me, people are shouting and fighting. Neon lights flicker all over the room like it’s some damn rave instead of a house party. Someone is screaming across the room, another voice getting lost in the crowd.
I find an empty couch and plop down.
There are other parties on campus, but none compare to these. Crazy shit always happens—keeps me reasonably entertained as long as I’m not participating.
It's a big waste of time. I'd only come to these parties in an attempt to drown out my own demons, ones I can't be alone with for too long.
