“So you really think the world is a better place with him in it?” I asked.
Josh looked over at me, surprised. He tilted his head. “You know, I’m not sure. I don’t know how to answer that. Maybe Rickcanbe a better person. Maybe everything that happened will make him into someone better. I would hope that for him.”
I raised my eyebrows at him, and he chuckled.
“Really, though,” he added, “I would hope that for others even more than him. I would spare other people going through what I went through. I don’t want anyone to feel like they’re worthless, cheap, or boring. I care about other people. I don’t care about Rick. Maybe that’s awful. I don’t know. I don’t care enough to wish him dead, but I do care enough about others to wish that he couldn’t harm anyone else. Maybe that doesn’t make sense.”
I patted his shoulder. “No, that makes perfect sense, Josh. You know, you really are a sweet guy, and I’m sorry that there are assholes out there in the world who will use things like that against people.”
Josh sighed again. “Me, too, Thea. Me, too.”
We sat in silence for a moment longer, and then Jude was laughing maniacally as Dexter sprayed Atlas with the sink sprayer. Josh and I looked at each other, rolled our eyes, and then got up to sort out the guys.
Never a dull moment in a house full of hellhounds.
When it came to revenge,I could be patient. It took two months for me to find the right time.
Rick had healed well enough; it seemed I hadn’t done any permanent damage. He had gone back to doing nights out, but he was usually pretty careful now about where he parked.
I was careful, too. I didn’t look into him on any of my electronic devices, and I left my phone and anything trackable at home when I did my stalking. I’d even checked my car for bugs. I’d found one or two suspicious items I’d removed. I didn’t want Liam knowing where I was.
As nice as it was to have older brothers, sometimes a girl just wanted to work alone.
Besides, the guys were pretty set in their ways, and they seemed sure about what the rules were.
Rick had moved out of his brother’s and was back living with his close friend, so he was at least closer to Paradise Falls. I was sure the guys were keeping an eye on him, but as far as I knew, he made no move whatsoever to contact Josh.
I didn’t think that was his style, anyway. He would be on the hunt for the next person he could ensnare in his web.
It was a shitty, rainy night, and I’d left my car about a mile out and walked the rest of the way. I heard Rick’s buddy announce that he was heading out for the night. Poor Rick had a bit of a head cold, so he joked he’d stay home for his drinking, maybe call “that cute blond twink for a blowjob.” They both had a good laugh at that, then Rick’s friend was gone, and Rick was all alone in the house.
I watched him have a few drinks as he watched some tv. It seemed like as good a time as any, so I made my way into the house. I was gonna have a little chat with Rick. I wanted to honor Josh’s wishes, and Rick wasn’t hellbound—therewasthe possibility that he could change.
He was sitting on the couch, a glass of hard liquor and the bottle on the end table next to him, when I slid in front of him and caged him in with my arms.
“Shhhhh,” I murmured, because he gave a little yelp when he saw my face. “Shhh, I just wanna chat. That’s all. Just chat, and then I promise I’ll leave, okay?”
His eyes darted around, and he seemed to notice that I was alone—no big bad brothers to help me out this time.
“Before you get any ideas, I’d like to remind you that I didn’t need any help last time, so don’t do anything stupid, okay?”
He looked at me, and I could tell he was scared, but mainly he was pissed off. I figured I’d have his cooperation, at least for now, but I didn’t think it would last.
I put my hands on his head, and I sifted through his memories again, but I did it withpurposethis time. I made sure I was staring straight into Rick’s eyes, and I went all the way back to his childhood.
I saw how one parent had been shitty and neglectful and verbally abusive, and how the other had spoiled him and tried to make up for the abuse by letting him get away with literally anything. I saw how all the love he’d ever known had been conditional, and on some level, it made me sad.
But then I moved forward, to that first boyfriend. The one he’d slept with and then made cry afterwards, never speaking to him again and spreading a rumor about him. The kid had needed to transfer schools. I went through all the lives he had ruined. All the people he had hurt. It sped by in a rush, all the pain and misery, and it was like I could see the future stretching out, and all I saw was more broken hearts, more wounded souls. More pain.
Rick would bring no joy into the world as he was.
“You could fix it,” I whispered softly. “You were dealt a shitty hand. I know that. You could go back and deal with what they did to you. You could face all that past trauma. It would hurt like hell, and it would be pretty awful, but you would come out better for it. You could heal. You could be a better person.”
I searched his eyes and I saw that little boy for barely a moment, but it didn’t take long for that tiny piece of himself to be pushed to the side.
“Fuck you, bitch. I like my life exactly the way it is. I don’twantto change,” he sneered.
I searched his face again, but any of that softness I’d seen before was gone. There was just Rick the Dick. Still, I had to try.
