“Stop for a minute.”
Ramel came over and grabbed me from behind, easily taking the bag out of my hand and tossing it on the floor.
“I thought you were happy for me, Ramel. I thought you wanted me to go on tour.”
“I am happy for you, and I do want you to go. Baby, I just didn’t realize how much you leaving would affect me.”
“And so you volunteer for a deployment without telling me. For what? To get back at me?”
“Hell nah. You know I’m not even the type of man to play tit for tat games. I just needed something to pass the time. Me going on a deployment would be basically the same thing as you going on tour. We would both be away for work, and when the assignments are done, we would be right back together.”
“Yeah, but you could get hurt. Who’s to say wherever they send you would be safe?”
“Gina, nowhere is completely safe. I could lose my life just walking down the street.”
“Ramel, you can frame it anyway you like, but this was wrong.”
I tried to reach down and grab my bag, but he got to it first. Instead of asking for it back, I just held my hand out for it. Ramel had no right to even try to keep me here, and if he wanted to make decisions alone, he could be alone.
“Gina, baby, it’s too late to leave tonight. If you want to go in the morning, I promise I won’t stop you, but I wouldn’t be a manif I let you walk out the door this late, and I already know you upset. Just spend the night, for me.”
“Fine, but I’m leaving first thing in the morning.”
Ramel stepped to the side as I stormed into the bathroom to get ready for bed. I knew he wanted to say more, but he didn’t. Honestly, there was nothing he could say to make me feel better about any of this.
Not only was I mad at him, but I was also mad at myself. I assumed he didn’t have an issue with my tour, but I now knew we both needed a real conversation about what touring would mean for us. Now I was scared that the conversation had come too late.
Chapter
Twenty-Six
“Icould run to Georgia just like this. All the way to Georgia and never quit.”
We were coming up on our last mile as I sang army cadences to keep the alpha company in step. I hadn’t realized we had run so far until some of the soldiers started falling behind. We were on our third circle around to pick them up when I looked down at my watch to see we’d been running for six miles.
“Take us back, LT.” Cap spoke only loud enough for me to hear, and I knew it was more of an order than a suggestion. I needed this run to clear my head from how things went down with Gina last night, but for the sake of our soldiers, I needed to get them back to the barracks. Doing as I was told, I took a shortcut to get us back to our company area.
I didn’t feel any better, making it back to my office. I planned to tell Gina about the deployment, but I didn’t think it would be a big deal one way or another. I’d struck a nerve with an insecurity my girl already had, and now, even a run couldn’t take my mind off of it. I had to figure out a way to help her put this shit behind her because there was no way I was losing her over a misunderstanding.
“That was one hell of a run, young blood.” Top came into my office uninvited, as always.
“Yeah, I think we all needed that one,” I lied.
“Maybe, but not as much as you needed it. Still not ready to talk about it yet.”
“Man, you know she tried to pack a bag to go by Anissa’s last night?”
“Yeah, I heard.”
“I swear, you nosy ass niggas find out everything.”
“Lexi and Nissa are sisters. They tell each other everything, and your girl has become their new best friend. Who else you expect her to talk to?”
“You right, man. I guess I just don’t understand her logic. How is me going on a deployment any different from her going on tour? Work is work.”
“You saying that because you don’t see the difference, but you got to look at it from her point of view. The job we do is dangerous. When you leave for deployment, you are going to war. Whether that war is on foreign soil or here at home, you are expected to defend this country.”
“And what’s wrong with defending my country? She knew what my job was before we even started this thing. How could it be a problem now?”
