“I can’t. You haven’t answered my question.” After the initial shock of seeing her brother had passed, the anger andresentment were rising again, and she didn’t know how much longer she could retain her composure.
“Would you believe me if I told you it was out of remorse?”
“No.” Twelve years was a very long time, and he had not acted on the alleged remorse until now.
“It’s true. I do have a conscience. Battered and faulty as it may be. And it has been torturing me for the past twelve years.”
It took all her vast practice in the concealing of emotions to avoid showing a reaction to the word torture. Her brother had no idea what torture was. She merely waited. Not trusting herself to speak.
“But you are right. I don’t know how much you know already. I suspect Lord Ardmore and Miss Finn have told you most of the circumstances.”
She nodded.
“Then you may know that I have a son. His mother, my wife, died while giving birth to him, and I will soon follow her.”
He paused. If he expected sympathy from her, he would be disappointed. She raised an eyebrow.
“My son will inherit the title when he is not yet two years of age. He needs someone to love him. To care for him. To guide him and protect him. There’s no one else, Josephine. No one else in our family that I trust.”
“Are you serious? You brought me back after all these years to be your son’s nanny? You must be out of your mind. Hire tutors and nursemaids. Name one of your friends his guardian. I’m sure there must be some distant, impoverished aunt that can serve as a motherly figure. I am certainly not suited to the task and have no wish to be.”
“There is no one else, Josephine. The cousin next in line to inherit the title is a shady character. And his wife is an overambitious harridan. I fear for my son’s fate if they areleft in charge of raising him. They will take advantage of his inheritance. Or… he might not even live to see his majority.”
What was left unsaid hung in the air like a stale smell. Would these relatives kill a child to inherit the title and fortune? The possibility was too horrible to contemplate. And yet she knew there were people that sinister. Her own master had been a twisted— She forcefully cut off that thought. The day she left the harem, she promised herself she would do her utmost not to think about her life there. She might not be able to control the nightmares, but she could control her conscious thoughts. And she refused to spend even one minute of her waking time on thoughts of that place.
She had not replied, lost in thought, and her brother went on anxiously. “I will make it worth your while.”
Her attention perked up at that. “How much?”
That seemed to fluster her brother, who looked uncomfortable discussing money, especially in front of strangers. She, on the other hand, had no compunction whatsoever about discussing money. Financial security was the first step in securing her future, and she planned to have everything clear, in writing and legalized, no matter how uncomfortable it made her brother.
“We can discuss that when we get home.”
She would have insisted, but the carriage was stopping. She looked through the window to see the train station. The footman opened the door to the carriage, and she held her tongue while they descended.
Once on the platform, there was no more opportunity to talk as they navigated the bustling train station. As they settled into the train, she admired the inside of their admittedly comfortable first-class private compartment. Finances must be well if her brother had been able to afford to pay her ransom and still travel in luxury.
“Your finances must have improved since the last time we met, Lord Dunhaven.”
The deep pallor on her brother’s face tinged with blotches of color. Was he made uncomfortable by the reminder that his debts had been what destroyed her life? That he had been a willing accomplice in her kidnapping? Well, that was too bad. She didn’t plan to make any of this comfortable for him.
“I stopped gambling. After what happened; when I saw the consequences of my actions. I… I couldn’t. So yes. The earldom’s finances are in order.”
“How splendid for everyone.” She could tell her neutral tone disconcerted him. He looked at her as if he didn’t know what to expect. As if he didn’t know her. And he didn’t. He had known the girl who was innocent, trusting, and optimistic. That girl had been betrayed, sold, and crushed. The woman she was now had a much clearer view of the world and its cruelties.
She didn’t speak more during the train ride. Her brother appeared exhausted. Shortly after the train departed the station, he had taken a pill and fallen into a fitful stupor. John sat quietly, reading a book. He was a smart and capable man but didn’t talk much. Alice had taken out her knitting needles and was consumed by her task. Such a peaceful, domestic endeavor for a woman who led a life that was anything but.
Josephine didn’t mind. She passed the time looking out the window, watching the English countryside rolling by. The gently sloping hills covered in a patchwork of green and dotted with trees or animals were a soothing and poignant sight to her weary soul.
Several hours and a change of transportation later, they arrived at their ancestral estate. It still felt too soon. She braced herself, but when it was time to descend from the coach, she hesitated. This had been her home. She had grown here and known everyone for miles around. What would they think ofher? Did people know she was coming? She almost wished nobody knew her.
“It is time, Lady Josephine.” John’s voice, calm and steady, bolstered her resolve.
She alighted from the coach without help and looked up at the impressive gray stone facade of what had once been her home. The butler immediately opened the door. Perkins. She remembered him. He was solemn and performed his duty with clockwork efficiency but was kind.
His eyes seemed to warm as he beheld her. “Lady Josephine.” He bowed. “On behalf of the entire staff, I would like to welcome you home.”
Perkin’s welcome struck the right tone. Friendly and warm, but without unseemly emotion. She inclined her head. “Thank you, Perkins. Glad to see you again.”
