He couldn’t discern her feelings. Her voice was so calm, so devoid of inflection. But he knew it was not because of a lack of emotion. Maybe the opposite was true. She must be remembering, as he was, the night she gave him that perfume. What transpired then. The first and only time they had been together.
“It was too painful. The fragrance evoked memories I was doing my utmost to forget.”
“And yet you kept it.”
And not only that. Kept it in a safe in his study. Locked away, but always close at hand. “I told you I wasn’t very good at letting go.”
She nodded, not meeting his gaze. This time when she reached for the bottle, she grasped it, unstoppering it and bringing it to her nose. She inhaled deeply, her nostrils flaring while her eyes closed. An expression of what appeared to be ecstasy came over her features. It seemed the fragrance brought no painful memories for her.
“The perfume has changed, evolved. But it’s still good,” she said, setting the bottle back down.
Much like his love for her. It had matured like fine whisky. Acquiring depth, character, and yet never evaporating.
“Maybe I’ll wear it now.”
One side of her mouth tilted up in not quite a smile. “Is that the letter?” She pointed to one of the papers. He nodded. Her hand was hesitant as it reached for it, almost as if she feared the contents but was determined to face them. A brief scan ofthe note had her gasping, bringing her hand to cover her mouth while her brow furrowed. “Oh dear God.”
He couldn’t stand it. He started circling the desk. “Josie, you don’t need—”
“This is horrid,” she interrupted, lifting her hand, palm out, to stop him. “I know I never wrote this, but the handwriting is so similar that I had a moment of disorientation. And the style… it sounds like something I would write. No wonder you believed it.”
“I wish I hadn’t. That I had trusted my instincts and questioned the note.”
She shook her head again. “You couldn’t have saved me.”
“Don’t try to absolve me, Josie.”
“I’m not. Trust me, there’s nothing I would have liked more than to be rescued, but not at the expense of your life.”
“Then let me use the rest of my life to care for you. To protect you.”
But Josie shook her head. “You are doing enough.” She turned to stride to the door as if someone was chasing her. “Burn that letter. It’s evil.”
CHAPTER 27
LifeatAycliffeParkhad settled into a routine of sorts. She continued to have breakfast in the nursery and then spent the mornings playing with Edward. As long as the weather permitted, she took him outside for a romp in the garden. After luncheon with the duchess and Michael, and during the child’s afternoon nap, she tried to work on her perfumes. She had ordered a few more items and set up a small laboratory in a corner of the conservatory. She was afraid to have these substances inside the house, so she had selected a place that was as far removed from the inhabited rooms as possible.
Some days Michael joined her in her makeshift lab. Sitting on a padded sofa, he would ask her questions about her work or make light conversation. In the evenings, after supper, they all retired to the parlor for games. Sometimes the duchess would entertain them at the pianoforte. Once, Michael had invited her to dance, but she had declined. She could very well imagine what being in his arms and moving in synchrony with him would do toher sanity. He had not insisted, but there had been a flash of hurt in his eyes before he could cover it.
Since the duchess and Michael liked to play chess and were ruthless competitors, she, who didn’t have as much interest in the game and could imagine nothing more gut wrenching than sitting across from Michael, sparring with him, mostly read as they played. The duchess liked to retire early, and she had become adept at reading when the older lady had had enough and was nearly ready to excuse herself for the night. Josephine always made sure she retired before Her Grace. The last thing she needed was to stay alone with Michael at night, in an intimate setting.
So far, she had avoided charged situations between herself and Michael, but the situation couldn’t perdure. His feelings had not changed; she could see them glowing in his eyes, vibrating in the energy he emanated.
She prayed, for both of their sakes, the hearing for Edward’s custody was set soon and the verdict would be in her favor. The sooner they could part ways, the better for all involved.
This morning, the weather was lovely, and as was their custom, she was taking Edward outside to play.
“Horsy! Horsy!” Edward cried delightedly, wrenching his tiny hand from her clasp in his excitement and running toward the front door. She hurried after the child as he ran out of the house ahead of her.
The sight of Michael sitting atop his horse in front of the house brought her to a breathless halt. Was he going somewhere or was he returning home? Regardless of his plans, he dismounted with a chuckle at the sight of Edward. Josephine, shameless woman that she was, was unable to avoid ogling the mesmerizing play of muscle and sinew in his muscular legs and shapely bottom as he dismounted. The gentle heat that stole over her face at the sightturned into a violent blush when she lifted her gaze and realized he had caught her staring.
His knowing smirk left no doubt of it.
Damn it. Why did he still have this effect on her? Why did she accept his invitation to stay at his estate? How could she have ever thought it would be easy to coexist under the same roof, see him every day, and still resist the pull he had over her? Wrenching her gaze from his, Josephine moved to take hold of Edward before he could be trampled by the horse, but Michael caught him first.
“Hey there, little chap. Fancy a ride?” he said while lifting the boy in his arms.
She was about to object, to say Edward was too small to ride a horse, when Michael playfully tossed the child over his head and eased him into a sitting position straddling his wide shoulders. Edward guffawed with delight, his little legs swinging in a two-year-old’s imitation of riding a horse. Her heart was not prepared for the emotion that swelled in her when Michael, holding Edward securely with his hands, emitted an undignified imitation of a horse’s neigh and then took off running around the entrance yard.
