“Go sit there and hold your wife’s hand. You can touch her head or her forehead too but nothing else.” I nod and move to the stool in barely a couple of steps.
I grab her hand and find my voice.
“Hey, gorgeous.” She turns her head and looks at me. My soul settles a little with the smile she gives me.
I squeeze her hand as she speaks, her voice washing over me.
“Hey, you. Guess we’re about to become parents in the next few minutes.”
“Looks like it, gorgeous. No time like the present, right?” I can’t help but hold her hand with both of mine, using it like an anchor to keep me from losing my shit. The nurses are moving around, getting things ready. The door opens and a scrubbed-up Dr. Hargrave comes in.
“Well, hello, you two. I know this wasn’t the way we planned to meet your daughter, but we are going to take care of her and you, Mom. Dad, just so you know, when we get your daughter out, she’s going to be moved over to the bed over there. We have a neonatologist coming in here in just a moment. He’s going to examine her to make sure everything’s good since her arrival is a bit unexpected and was brought on by some traumatic events. Once she’s out and everything looks good for her and Mom, we’re going to take Mom over to x-ray to confirm a broken hand and get that taken care of. They may not cast it right then since she’s gonna still be coming out of recovery, but let’s deal with the most important thing right now. Let’s get your daughter out of distress and into this world.” I look at Kierstie and she nods at me.
“Let’s do this, Doc. I’m ready to be able to hold both my girls.”
She tells me I can look at a certain point, but I elect to stay next to my woman and see everything from there. I think I might have enough scars from today. Seeing her organs and insides will be too much. I’m man enough to admit that, at least to myself, if not out loud.
Dr. Hargrave starts doing things on the other side of the curtain. Within a couple of minutes, she asks Kierstie if she can feel a couple of different things. When Kierstie tells her no every time, the doctor tells the room that it’s go time. I can hear the doctor and her nurses talking, most of it in jargon that I won’t even try to understand. I look at my woman and brush her hair out of her face so she can see everything when the moment comes.
Just a minute later, I hear Dr. Hargrave say, “Here she comes, family. Your daughter is here.”
I look over the top of the fabric they have between Kierstie’s head and the rest of her body. She lifts my little girl up. In this very second, my being comes into focus. This. This family is my lottery. This family is my meaning. I lean in and kiss Kierstie through the mask. The nurse brings our girl around so Kierstie can see her. As she does, our girl lets us know she’s got some lungs on her and starts crying, very loudly. I am man enough to admit that the tears flow freely at that moment. Looking at my wife, I can’t help but state the obvious.
“Well, she’s got your lungs, Mama.” Kierstie’s crying but laughing through it as she nods at my observation.
My woman then speaks up through her tears. “Are we still good with the name? The way I suggested it?” I look back at her after looking over at what they’re doing to my daughter.
“If you’re sure you want it that way, I’m fine with either way, my love.”
“I want it that way. Someone is going to name a boy after him and I don’t want her teased about it. I think this is supposed to be her name.” I kiss her hands, again through the mask.
She then gives me an order, probably the first of countless. “Go with her, Shane. I’m good and she needs someone to watch out for her. I’ll be in recovery in a while.” One of the nurses comes up and agrees with my woman. I squeeze her hand one more time and tell her I love her. I follow the nurse and wipe the tears from my face as she leads me over to my daughter.
My daughter.I still can’t believe it. The doctor who’s with her looks up when the nurse introduces us.
“Your daughter is strong. She’s wasn't born what I would consider to be very early which is a big plus for her. Her lungs look good and I can’t see any injuries that she has from the accident. We’ll get her cleaned up and ready for you, and then we can get you settled in with her in the nursery. If you want to go tell your family and come back in about five minutes, we’ll be ready to take you both to the nursery.” The same nurse who led me to the room is right outside when I come out. She has me take off the scrub things I wore into the room, telling me I probably won’t need them in the part of the nursery she’ll be going to.
“You’ve got a room full of people waitin’ on news, young man. Here’s a card with all her information so you can tell them. You have a name picked out so I can tell the nurse who’s getting her spot ready?” I share her name and head out to the family,ourfamily.
Walking through the doors to the waiting room, I see not just Ma and Pa, but Grant, Mads, Jon, Rory, Juan, Jane, and a few other brothers and family. Ma sees me first and hops up from her chair.
“How’s my girl? How’s the baby?” I smile at her excitement. My girls are both so loved already.
“Mama and baby are both doing well. The surgery went well. They’re taking Kierstie to x-ray on the way to recovery as they think her wrist is broken, but everything else looks good. They’re probably both going to stay in the hospital a couple of days to make sure no problems come up. Baby girl is seven pounds even and nineteen inches long. Her lungs are already powerful and she’s got a good cry like her mama.” I pause to look at the two men who’ve had the greatest impact on our lives.
“We named her after two very important people, her papa and her godfather. Her name is Grace Jona.”
I’m immediately engulfed in a hug from Pa.
“I knew you were right for my girl a long time ago. You honor me, son.” He slaps me on the back and I can tell he’s being elbowed to move.
“Let me in, you hog!” Grant envelops me in a bear hug. He tells me in a voice low enough that no one else can hear, “Your mom would be proud of you. I’m proud of you and honored you included me at all in this. Love you, boy.” He gives me another hug while trying to get his emotions in check. Ma comes up and hugs me, and I see the nurse nod so I ask her to come with me. With tears in her eyes, she grabs my arm.
“Take me to my grandbaby.” We both follow the nurse through the doors that lead to the nursery and my Gracie girl.
The nurse speaks up when we get close. “I’ve checked with the doctor and he’s given the clear for her to be held with no problems. So, Dad, when you get in there, take off your shirt so she can feel you skin to skin.” I nod, remembering I read that in a couple of the baby books. I can’t believe I’m about to hold my daughter. I never even imagined I would have a family of my own, and now I’ve got the most amazing wife and the most perfect little girl. If you had told the me who struggled through boot camp and never quite found my place in the military that all I ever wanted was just here the whole time, I would’ve called you fucking certifiable and probably a few other choice phrases.
The nurse leads Ma and I through the nursery, passing numerous bassinets, some with babies but many empty. She leads us over to a bassinet that has a rocking chair next to it. The nurse tells me to take my shirt off and have a seat. She adds, “Once your wife is out of recovery, we’ll bring Grace in her bassinet down to her room so you two can have some family time and bring in some other family to meet her.”
