Ahh… Now I see why he wasn’t sure if he should tell me. Well, periods have never made me squeamish—I have Mum, Gran, and the fact that my best friend back home is a woman to thank for that—and this isn’t even my first rodeo where Avi is concerned.
“You got any of your famous chocolate biscuits around?” I ask him, and that ghost of a smile grows into a full-blown grin.
“Aye. I think I do.”
Five minutes later, I’m headed upstairs to room four with a plate of biscuits and a heating pad on a tray. The note with my swoopingJinitial is unnecessary. I’m not even sure why I wrote it.
I stop outside her door and stare at it for too long.
What do I do now? Knock and personally hand this to her…? What on earth would she think?
In the end, I set the tray on the floor, grab the note and crumple it in my fist, then quickly knock before hightailing it to the stairs. I’ve just rounded the corner and pressed myself against the wall when I hear her door open.
My ears ring as I picture her face and wish I would have stayed to see it. But I didn’t do it for me. I did it for her. Even though it’s not my job to take care of her, part of me will always wish it were.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Avonlea – Sixteen Years Ago
“Avi?” Jamie’s voice carries across the hedgerow to where I’m sitting with my back against a tree, arms pulled tight around my stomach. I quickly swipe at the tears on my cheeks, and then Irun. “Avonlea?”
I slip into the barn and out of sight. He’ll want to know why I’m crying, and there’s no way I can tell him. He may be my closest friend in Cluaran, but he’s still a twelve-year-old boy. I don’t want him to laugh at me like the boys at school would.
But Jamie’s never been like the boys at school, not with me.
I sink down beside a hay bale, the rough straw prickling my arm, and more tears slip free.
I wish Mum were here. She said she’d come get me when I called, but I didn’t want to be dramatic. Making her drive five hoursbecause I got my period for the first time felt dramatic… Still, I never imagined it happening here, with only Grannie to ask for help.
I breathe and tell myself it’ll be fine. A few days, a week tops, and then I can pretend this never happened. Until next month, I guess. A little sob escapes me at the thought and I squeeze my arms tighter around my middle. It hurts, but it’s nothing to how embarrassed I was when Grannie told Papa that she needed to run into town to get me pads. He went white as a sheet, and then bright red. I’m pretty sure I did too.
I’ve been hiding out ever since she got back.
But now…
“Avi?”
I must’ve missed the creak of the barn door because Jamie’s looking down at me and there’s nowhere else to hide. I lift my head from where I was resting it against the wall and look into the prettiest green eyes I’ve ever seen. Even in the gloom of the barn, the large chunks of light filtering in through the old roof make them shine.
But I don’t want to see him right now.
More like, I don’t wanthimto seeme.
“What’s wrong?” His voice is soft and cautious… nervous. “Are you mad at me?”
I shake my head and dash the tears away. “No, I…” I don’t know what to say. God, the embarrassment that burns hot under my skin at just thethoughtof telling him is enough to make my eyes fill again. So, I pull my knees in toward my chest, wrap my arms around them, look at my shoes, and say, “Just leave me alone.”
Not once in three summers have I asked him to leave me alone. We’re practically joined at the hip for the entire six weeks I’m here.
“What did I do, Avi?” There’s hurt in his voice, and that only makes the salty tears fall harder.
I can’t look at him. I’m too embarrassed, too ashamed, too afraid of what he’ll think if I tell him.
He backs away with slow steps that scrape across the cool stone floor.
I’ve never kept secrets from him, never had to. We’ve never so much as bickered over anything. He’s my best friend—not just on Skye, but in general. Even with all my friends at home, I like Jamie Murray the best.
I lift my head and watch him walk away, shoulders slumped. He’s almost to the door when I shout after him. “Wait.” His eyes are sad when he turns back around. “I’m sorry. You didn’t… It’s not…” I blow out a big breath and the words fall out in a rush before I can stop them. “I started my period, okay?”
