And then I bury my face in my hands.
This is it for our friendship. Boys don’t want to talk about this stuff. They don’t want to know about it or think about it. And here I am blurting it out while sitting in a crying heap on the ground.
But he doesn’t run away. To my shock, Jamie sinks down next to me until his side is pressed against mine, warm in the damp chill of the barn.
“Why’d you hide from me?” he asks.
I shrug and he knocks his shoulder against mine, coaxing me to finally lift my head from my hands. His eyes are curious, but there’s hurt there too.
“I didn’t want to talk about it. With anyone, but especially not with you.”
“Why?” A line appears between his eyebrows.
I scoff and rub my face against my sleeve, relieved when it doesn’t come away snotty. “You’re a boy.”
“Aye, and you’re a lass. Did you tell your grannie?” he asks, like we’re talking about the weather and not my period.
My cheeks flame and I nod. “Yeah, and she told my papa.” I shudder at the memory. “Maybe I should have Mum come get me. She said she would. I just—”
“You can’t go home now. We still have three more weeks of break. You don’t really want to go, do you?” he asks, looking distraught at the idea of me leaving early.
I shake my head and lean slightly into his shoulder, but a twinge of pain in my stomach makes me wince away.
“Does it hurt?” Jamie asks, and I nod, pressing my palm over the dull ache.
I’m too mortified to say anything. To my surprise, his warm hand covers my free one where it sits on my lap and he laces his fingers between mine. We’ve never held hands before… but I think I like it. I think I like it a lot.
“You know,” he says, “my mum has a heating pad she uses sometimes. Maybe you could try that.”
I lift my head with a snap and our gazes collide.
“What?” he says, taking in my whole face.
“I just… This really doesn’t weird you out?” I duck my chin again, but he follows the motion so I can’t hide from him.
“No. Why? It’s just part of being a girl, right? At least that’s what Mum says. Gran too. So, you want to try that heating pad?”
And just like that, starting my period doesn’t feel as scary. I nod and give him the first smile I’ve worn all day. He stands and brushes the hay from his pants then extends his hand. I slip mine into it, getting more used to the feel of holding his, and with a gentle tug, he pulls me from the ground.
“I bet Gran will even give you some of Grandad’s chocolate biscuits if you want them. My mum always says they make her feel better.”
The bright sunlight is blinding as we walk out of the barn, but it illuminates his smile as he leads me across the garden, through the hedge, and into the warm kitchen of the T&T for tea and biscuits.
I got really lucky with Jameson Murray. I hope we can be friends forever.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Jamie – Fifteen Years Ago
Ipeek out the kitchen window and see Avi sitting in the old tire swing. Well, sitting isn’t quite the right word. She’s lying across the tire, head hanging off one end with her long blonde hair trailing down toward the ground while her legs dangle off the other. They move just enough to keep the swing rocking gently and her hair swaying back and forth.
I grew four inches this year, giving me a different view through this window than I used to have. I see Avi a bit differently too.
She’s always been Avi, my friend who visits in the summer. Avi who isn’t afraid to get muddy, to be reckless, to go on an adventure. And she’s still that Avi… but she’s also more than that.
It’s not like I didn’t realize she was a lass or anything. Especially after last summer when she started her period. Mum was so proudof me for the way I handled her telling me—that I didn’t embarrass her—that she got me a new leather-bound journal to write in with my initials engraved in the front. But this year I’ve started noticing girls more… and Avi the most.
She grew this year too, and in ways I was surprised by. Her T-shirts fit differently—so do her shorts—and I really like it. I keep having to tell myself not to look, but sometimes, like right now, it’s hard not to.
