“I’m going to go read in the parlor instead, is that okay?” Lennox asks, running off through the door behind me before I can answer.
“Sure,” I mumble under my breath, only to catch a small chuckle from Jamie.
I shoot him a playful glare and he instantly stops. “I’m sorry if I overstepped with the nickname…”
“No, it’s okay. He likes it. I can’t blame him—it is cool.” I chuckle and lean against the frame of the door, looking over my shoulder to see a few of the kitchen staff watching us. “Can we talk for a minute?”
I close the door and walk toward the bench swing, sitting at the far corner. This is such a dangerous place for us to be, the place we kissed…
“Of course. I promise I didn’t take him up there. I was looking for him, and there he was.” Jamie sits opposite me, crossing his booted foot over his knee. The picture of casual confidence. I always loved that look on him, but it’s even better now as an adult.
“I know. He wouldn’t have been able to resist the allure of such a thing once he knew it existed.” I raised an adventurer, what can I say.
“That’s also my fault though,” Jamie says with a sheepish smile.
He has no idea, because as much as Iraisedan adventurer, Lennox’s shared blood with Jamiemadehim one.
I shrug and reach back to loosen my apron straps. “He would’ve found his way up there eventually. You did. We did. More often than not.” I look up toward the roof. So many memories carried on the breeze of that space. They permeate into the shingles, the rocks of the chimney, the smoke on the wind. “I appreciate you going up after him. I’m sure you have other things you could be doing. I’m sure Angus and Aileen do too.” I press my fingertips into the bridge of my nose to alleviate a growing headache. “I wasn’t prepared for him to be here this week. I just—”
“Hey.” Jamie closes the distance between us on the bench—only by a few inches, but I feel them disappear one by one like barriersfalling between us. “It’s fine that he’s here. None of us mind. This is—” He stops and swallows hard. “It’s your home too. It always has been. Gran and Grandad have always loved you like a granddaughter, and I know they’re thrilled to have Nox here. You should have seen how excited Grandad was when I told him I’d make the swing happen for him. He lit up like a Christmas tree.”
Icanimagine it… But if I had to guess, the reason Angus was so excited was because he knew it was a father building a swing for his son. Something Jamie still doesn’t know.
This is so hard.
“Jamie,” I say at the same time he says, “Avi…”
“Sorry,” he continues when I stop.
“No, it’s okay, you go.” I lean back against the bench seat, willing the courage to build up so I can just say what I need to say. He can talk first, I can talk second. I’ll just tell him. Waiting for this weekend be damned.
“I’m really glad you’re here. I know I wasn’t in the beginning. I know I let my own stuff get in the way of telling you that.” He reaches across the space and gently lays his hand over the one I have resting on the back of the cushion. “But I am.”
He squeezes my fingers in his and my breath catches in my throat as tingles race up my arm. His words fill me with warmth, the same way a hot cup of tea would, and I let my hand turn in his until our fingers interlace. They still fit together perfectly—like they did when we were children, like they did when we were teenagers, like they did when he made love to me in the back of that campervan.
I tuck my chin to hide my blush at the thought. God. That is the last thing I need to be thinking about right now.
I swallow over the lump rising in my throat and look up into the eyes of the boy—the man—I have always loved. Even if I didn’t want to. “Thank you, Jamie. I’m glad you’re here too.”
We sit like that for what feels like hours, but it’s likely only minutes before the back door flies open and Hamish looks out at us with a raised brow and a smirk. “Chef, we need you.”
I jump up, putting space between us and brushing my hands down my slacks. “Right, sorry, Hamish. I’m coming.” My steps take me closer to the building, but I can already feel the tug back toward the swing. The tug of the piece of my heart that I thought was long lost but may still be there, attached to the heart of a man I didn’t know I still wanted.
I look over my shoulder one last time before going inside and the soft expression on Jamie’s face is what I’ll see every time I close my eyes for the rest of the day and the last thing I’ll see when I close my eyes tonight.
It’s the same one he used to give me when we were young. It’s the one that made me love him so damn much.
“Mum.” Lennox drags out my name, exasperated because I just flicked flour into his face.
I’m obviously a very mature parent.
“Len-nox.” I enunciate the two syllables with the same irritated tone, asmile on my lips.
It’s late… Probably too late for a ten-year-old to be up making biscuits, but I had to wait for the kitchen to close. This might not have been my mostresponsiblemum move, but Lennox asked… and I couldn’t disappoint him. Especially as I’ve been pretty busy with work the last few days.
He shakes out his blond waves and the flour that dusts his skin like white freckles complement the brown ones.
“You wanted to make late-night cookies, so you have to deal with my shenanigans,” I say, ruffling his hair and knocking the remaining flour from it.
