With a light tug, we start walking and I gently shake my hand free, under the guise of pulling my hair into a braid over my shoulder. The constant state of touching is more than I can bearright now. My body, my heart, and my brain don’t know how to take it.
“Nox doing okay?” Jamie asks, glancing sidelong at me before looking ahead to wherever he’s leading us.
I love that he’s thinking of Lennox—of how he’s doing. Concern for his well-being is a good sign… And that hope blooms again.
“I think so. We had a lot of time to talk. He had questions, many of which I can’t answer for him…” I watch my feet, afraid to ask those very questions myself. At least Lennox was brave enough to voice them, unlike me. “And he’s not particularly thrilled about being in Glasgow for another few weeks. He wants to be here, but Mum and Dad are determined to make it as special for him as possible.”
“And how are your parents? You told them—that I know—I assume?” he asks, voice low and cautious.
“Yeah, I got to be on the receiving end of one of my mother’s ‘I told you so’ looks.” I glance up and catch his puzzled expression. “She told me that if I didn’t tell you, you’d figure it out, and she was right. Dad was—well, Dad. He’s worried about all of it.”
“I think I understand a little better now why his handshake that first night was a little intense.” He shakes his head, lines forming between his brows.
I chuckle and say, “I think my dad got over the fact that you got me pregnant a long time ago.” My attempt at humor falls short and I see Jamie flinch slightly. “Shit, I’m sorry.”
Too soon for jokes about this, I guess. It’s a deflection method I’ve gotten good at, but it’s not always the most helpful.
“It’s okay. I just—I still can’t believe it, you know.” His eyes find mine, and they’re sincere and full of emotions I can’t begin tounderstand. “That wasn’t a reality I lived through like you did. It’s a shock is all. You werepregnant. And I missed it.” He shakes his head like he truly can’t fathom this, and the sadness in his voice makes it sound like he wishes more than anything he could’ve been there, seen it, been part of it.
“I—” I begin, but he cuts me off.
“Please don’t apologize again.” He holds a hand up and offers me a kind smile—one I’m not sure I deserve. “We’re past the apologies I think at this point.”
“Are we?” My voice cracks. I feel like there must be more apologies I owe him. I’m not sure I’ll ever believe it’s been enough.
“We are,” he states matter-of-factly, and then he grabs my hand and pulls me toward the loch. Toward the small cove we used to come to. The one where we kissed for the first time our last summer together, where we agreed to a summer of only kissing and staying friends in the end.
How very stupid we were.
“Jamie.” I’m breathless and a little nervous about why he’d bring us here of all places.
“I haven’t been back here. Not since that summer.” He walks a little ways away before turning around to face me. “I couldn’t bring myself to come alone. I knew it had to be with you, or not at all.”
“Why now?” I ask, tentatively taking a step, and then another.
He shrugs and closes the distance between us with one large bootstep. We’re close enough that just leaning in would bring us together, bodies brushing.
“Truth?” Jamie asks.
My swallow is heavy—thick with nerves—and my stomach clenches. “Always,” I whisper, because going forward, he deserves to always have the truth from me. He always did.
“Would you like to go on a date with me?”
“A date?” I say, shocked, but my lips tug up involuntarily, eyebrows meeting my hairline.
“A date, a real one. We never got that chance. Instead, we agreed to a summer of just kissing, where we’d stay friends in the end. None of that worked out the way we planned. Maybe we need a new plan.” He pushes a wayward strand of hair behind my ear.
Butterflies zip to life in my stomach and my heart flutters in rhythm with their wings. The fear of the unknown from earlier gnaws at me too, and I don’t know what to say.
“I don’t know, Jamie.” His face falls so I hurry on, pressing my hand lightly to his chest. “It’s not that I don’t want to. But your time here is temporary, and I already don’t know what that means for Lennox. I—”
“Avi,” he interrupts me, and the way he says my name, though gentle, leaves no room for argument. “I’m just asking for one date. A chance—to talk, to listen, to see…”
“But…” I bite my lip and watch him from under my lashes.
“Please, Avi. Let me take you on a real date. Something I never got the opportunity to do, and maybe we can find some answers to the questions we both have about what happens next. We take it one step at a time, yeah?”
His sincerity mixed with the smell of him, earthy and masculine, weakens my resolve. As if it wasn’t already putty around this man. “Okay.” I breathe the word and with it feel something inside me shift slightly. “One date.”
