I step past a broad tree trunk in just enough time to see Alex catch a little blonde girl in his arms. He twirls her around and around and around until they collapse onto the dewy grass in a fit of giggles.
“Again, Awex!” My lips part at the cute annunciation of his name. The little girl’s voice is as adorable as her tiny face. She has two pigtails sitting high on the top of her head, and her eyes are as vibrant and blue as Alex’s.
I pause, waiting for suspicion to make itself known with my gut. It never comes. I’ve thrown out enough accusations the past decade, I’ve got none left to issue. Besides, although I’m watching them from afar, Addi’s face seems familiar. I’m certain she’s the girl Alex was photographed holding at Dane’s funeral.
I watch them for the next several minutes, adoring the giggles roaring from Addi’s mouth as Alex weaves her between the swings and jungle gym at the park they’re playing at. Seeing him so carefree and happy gives me some semblance of peace. I thought our time apart would be as devastating for Alex as it’s been for me, but this proves he’s doing okay.
Don’t misconstrue me. I’m not angry he’s enjoying Christmas Day. I’m happy. He works hard, so he deserves to relish the days where nothing but family and friends are on his mind. I’m just disappointed in myself. This is Axel’s first Christmas. I doubt he’ll remember it because he’s only a few months old, but he deserves not to have his sour-faced aunty ruining all his pictures from the day.
After watching Alex and Addi for another few minutes, I continue to my dad’s truck. My steps are springier than earlier, less weighed down. On the way, I spot a lady I’d guess to be early thirties and a little girl a few years older than Addi. Her hair is just as blonde as Addi’s, and her eyes are just as blue.
My steps falter when reality dawns: she must be Addi’s big sister, which means the lady she is with is most likely their mother. Kristin is pretty. Designer glasses hide half her face, and I can barely see her shiny hair since it’s tucked under a Burberry cashmere hat, but the portions of her body peeking out of her wool coat reveal she handled motherhood well. I’d be riddled with jealousy at her put-together display if sympathy wasn’t the first emotion to hit me upon spotting her.
Noticing my fumbling steps, Kristin shifts her eyes my way. When she sees the bottles of alcohol in my hands, she mistakes my clumsiness as drunkenness. I shouldn’t smile when she snarls at me, but I can’t help it. Usually women glare at me because I stole their husbands’ eyes. I’ve never had it happen without a male in the vicinity.
Kristin’s sunglasses can’t hide her glare, much less the vicious furl of her top lip. I don’t have the time or the inclination to engage in a verbal altercation with a woman still grieving, so I dip my chin before skirting past her.
Thankfully, my dad’s truck is only a few spots up, meaning I’m saved from the heat of her wrath. After jabbing my keys into the ignition, I kick over the old girl’s motor. Just as it fires to life, my cell phone rings, scaring the living daylights out of me.
Noticing the call is from Alex, my eyes dart up to the rearview mirror. His shoulder is propped against the tree trunk I used to shelter myself while spying on him, and his phone is pushed against his ear. His brows are housing a groove they didn’t have when he was playing with Addi, and his lips are firmer, but he’s still the sexiest man I’ve ever laid my eyes on.
My eyes shift sideways when a commotion captures my attention. Addi’s attempt to race toward Alex as she did earlier is being thwarted by Kristin fisting the back of her winter coat. She keeps Addison and Isla contained at the side of the playground as they wait for Alex to finalize his call. The pain crossing Addi’s face cuts me raw. She’s peering at Alex, begging for him to come back and play, but since his focus is on his phone instead of her, he fails to notice the tears flooding her eyes.
Guilt overwhelms me. I’ve been so gung-ho on protecting my heart, I didn’t check what my actions were doing to those closest to me. I don’t know Addi, but I’m aware of what she’s been through the past year. That alone makes me want to protect her, to save her the pain of losing her daddy figure for the second time in her life.
For that reason, and solely that reason, I hit decline on Alex’s call.
It is the second most painful thing I’ve done in my life.
* * *
This is my third.
“I can’t do this, Isaac. Not only as your lawyer, but as your friend.”
My eyes drop to the prenup he had me draw up this morning as my arms fold in front of my chest. I reinforce my pose, hoping he’ll know I’m not backing down without a fight today. I didn’t walk away from the man I love yesterday for nothing. I did it to ensure both Alex and Isaac remain happy, and this ridiculous prenup won’t secure Isaac’s happiness like he’s hoping. When Isabelle discovers the terms he put in, it may destroy it.
I balk when Isaac snaps, “I don’t pay you for your opinions. I pay you to do what I ask you to do.”
“This could be financial suicide for you.” I lean my hip on the big mahogany desk he is sitting behind while taking in a big breath. “If you get divorced, you’ll be decimated. Izzy will get everything.”
He nods. “That’s the whole point. I want to give it all to her. Everything I have, I want her to have.”
I shake his stupid words out of my ears. “You’re smarter than this, Isaac. This won’t tie her to you. It won’t stop her from leaving you. Heck, it may even encourage her to leave, considering she will end up filthy rich and—”
My words halt when Isaac glares at me. It is a stare I’ve never been subjected to before. It warns I’m skating on extremely thin ice. His temper is as frayed as mine, his mood just as sour.
With a shimmy of my shoulders, I continue with my campaign. He pays me for my stubbornness, so he’s about to get his money’s worth. “A prenup is supposed to be a contract that protects your assets. It is not designed as a bribery tool.”
I startle when he abruptly stands from his chair. Although his fists are clenched at his side, and his jaw is tight, I didn’t balk in fear. I’m reinforcing the bricks I stacked around my heart last night, bunkering down for the third fight of my life.
“I’m not bribing Isabelle to stay with me,” Isaac snarls through gritted teeth.
I toss the prenup onto his side of the desk. “Then what do you call this?”
My campaign falters when his lips quiver. “It’s called showing her what she means to me.” His eyes bounce between mine as he says, “Isabelle has been through hell and back because of me, yet she still stands by my side.”
His words affect me more than I’ll ever let on. Everything he is saying, feeling, and experiencing is precisely what I said, felt, and experienced when I was with Alex. I thought he could complete me, make me feel whole, but all he did was break me more. I don’t want Isaac to go through that. I want to save him from the pain.
