“What youneed, Maddox? You have a roof over your head, a bed to sleep in, and food in your stomach. What else could you possibly need?”
“You, Demi.” He tugs on his hair, leaving it standing on its ends before he strays his eyes to mine. They’re full of pain and torment. “If I don’t do what they want, I can’t see you, touch you, or smell you. That will kill me more than any of this.” He throws his hand at the door he walked through only moments ago. “I’m in here for life. I’m not getting out. You need to understand that.”
“No. Because that isn’t true.” Ignoring the tears welling in my eyes, I secure his hand in mine. “You’re not stuck here. We still have options. Many of them.”
I feel like I’ve been stabbed in the chest with a dirty knife when he mutters, “We’re out of options. My last appeal was denied this morning. I’m here for life.”
I shake my head, too shocked for a better denial. Owen said that the verdict for Maddox’s final appeal was months away. That things are slower this time of the year.
When I see the truth in Maddox’s eyes, I say matter-of-factly, “Then we will look at other options, take the matter elsewhere.”
“There’s nowhere else to take it—”
“There arealwaysoptions, Maddox. You’re just not looking hard enough.” When I’m spiraling, I generally speak words I don’t mean. Today isn’t any different. “Take your terms off the table with my uncle. Let me share the burden of your debt.”
“No!” It’s rare to see Maddox angry, but there’s no denying it today. His cheeks are as red as his bloody knuckles, and don’t get me started on the tightness of his jaw. “I willnothave you indebted to him. I’d rather—”
“Rot in jail?”
He waits a beat before jerking up his chin. “It could be worse.”
“How, Maddox? You’re being puppeteered for ten minutes a month. That isn’t living.”
With both our moods frayed, he takes my comment way harsher than intended. “Do you have any idea of the hell I went to for those ten minutes, Demi? The hell I’m still going through.”
While throwing his fingers through his hair that’s overdue to be trimmed, he paces the room and rambles to himself. I’ve never seen him so unhinged. He’s hurting—badly—and the knowledge immediately alters my campaign.
Air hisses through my teeth when I hobble to Maddox’s side of the room. The pain spasming up my leg is intense, but it has nothing on the hurt stabbing my chest.
When I reach Maddox, I fist his plain white t-shirt, halting his strides before I endeavor to use words to clear the angst from his face. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I did.”
I’m anticipating for him to immediately accept my apology. It is what the Walshs do, so you can picture my shock when he replies, “I may not be living the life we envisioned, Demi, but there’s no reason you can’t.”
“What?” I pause, needing a minute to work what he said through my head. When it gives me nothing but more confusion, I endeavor to clarify it. “We agreed to do thistogether… as a unit. We come as a package deal. You can’t have one without the other. Are you saying you feel differently now?”
His voice is barely a whisper when he replies, “I don’t feel any different. I just think we need to re-evaluate things to make sure this is what webothwant.”
“This is what I want, Maddox.Youare who I want.”
Nothing but sheer panic is seen in his eyes when he asks, “Are you sure about that? Because that’s not the vibe I’ve been getting from you lately.”
Before I can assure him our argument is more about a bad week than the strength of our relationship, a guard enters the room announcing our time is up.
Maddox requests a minute before he cups my quivering jaw in his hands. Part of me wants to pull away, to demand the chance to give my side of the story, but I can’t. No matter how angry I am, I could never deny him the opportunity to say goodbye. We’re not given a specified amount of time, and I’d never forgive myself if my stubbornness stole me one last moment with him.
My heart cracks when Maddox gently presses his lips to mine. It isn’t the kiss of a man in the throes of passion. It’s resolute and final. Like it’s the commencement of the end for us.
“No,” I murmur over his lips, my voice on the verge of sobbing. “This isn’t the end for us. What I said to you was wrong. We’re doing whatever needs to be done to stay together.” When the guard tugs him toward the corridor, annoyed his numerous requests for us to disband were ignored, I follow them. “I’m not giving you up, Maddox. We will make it through this.Together.”
Tears splash down my cheeks when I wordlessly beg for him to hold on, not to let the darkness of this life swallow him whole. He is stronger than this. If anyone can make it through this in one piece, it will be him.
Just before he is tugged out of eyesight, I mouth, “I love you.”
The shattered pieces of my heart float back toward my chest when he replies, “I love you back. Always.” The hesitation in his tone exposes he’s torn about his response, but I’d rather a cautious response than the one I was anticipating—it’s just one of those days.
Within seconds of Maddox being hauled out of the room, my arm is snagged by a massive guard with a ginormous chip on his shoulder. Instead of showing me the way out, he marches me to the door like he’s angrier about my confrontation with Maddox than me.
He probably is. If the guards are behind my one-on-one visits with Maddox, they wouldn’t be happy about the prospect of losing their only bargaining chip. You can’t manipulate a man who has nothing to lose. That’s why my uncle can be so rigid with his negotiations. He can’t even lose his soul since he didn’t have one to begin with.
