The bus rolledinto the hotel parking lot as everyone was still buzzing with excitement from our win. Butcher caught my eye.
“Grab a drink before we go up?”
I shot him a curious look, eyebrows raised. It wasn’t like him to want to drink while on the road, especially with curfew being ordered. “Sure, what’s on your mind?”
He hesitated, his gaze wandering across our teammates. “It’s ... I’ll fill you in once we get inside.”
“All right,” I agreed, sensing the gravity behind Butcher’s request. He was always joking and laughing, so this was unlike him, and I was a bit worried.
We filed out of the bus, and once inside, the team all stood at the elevators as they waited to go up to their rooms. Butcher and I made our way to the lobby bar, its dim lights giving the area an elegant feel.
We ordered two beers and then sat at a secluded corner table.
“So, what’s up?” I asked and took a sip of the pale ale.
Butcher rubbed the back of his neck and I cocked my head to the side slightly. He was definitely not acting like himself.
“You’re kinda scaring me,” I admitted.
“Sorry. I don’t know why I’m so nervous. If you can do it, so can I.”
I lifted a brow. “Do what?”
“Okay.” He looked around as though to make sure we were alone and then back at me. “I’m bi.”
I balked slightly but then said, “Dude, why are you nervous to tell me of all people that?”
“Because I’m the one who is always joking and having a good time. We don’t normally have serious conversations and when you came out, I made a joke about it because I’mthatguy.”
I nodded, understanding what he had just revealed. “Butch, you don’t have to be ‘that guy’ all the time. We’re teammates, but we’re also friends. I appreciate how understanding you were when I came out to you and the other guys, but I’m assuming by you telling me privately that you’re also into guys, you want it to be kept between us?”
“Yeah. I’ve always been hush-hush about me getting with a guy, but I guess I’m also telling you because I want you to know you’re not alone.”
“Thanks, man. And you’re not alone either. Do you have any plans to come out?”
He shook his head. “No. I’m not looking for a serious relationship. If I happen to start one before I retire, then maybe I’ll reconsider.”
His words played in my head as I took another sip of my beer. I never thought about coming out when I dated Ford or Baylor. It was always my plan to keep that part of myself hidden, even though I wasn’t truly happy about it. But maybe it was time for me to accept I was gayandI played professional hockey.
“By the way,” I added, grinning, “I like that we had this serious conversation.”
Butcher chuckled genuinely. “Yeah, but let’s not make it a habit. I’ve got a reputation to protect.”
The tension broken, we both laughed and continued chatting until we finished our beers and went to our rooms before we were caught out past curfew.
A few days later,we were back in Boston for a three-game home stand. I hadn’t heard from Ford and while I was sad about it, I understood. If he had never texted me that night … No. I wasn’t going to think about that. He had texted me and maybe it wasn’t a sign we should try dating again; maybe I was simply supposed to save him. And I did. There was no telling what would have happened if he’d fallen asleep from the pills and drifted off. The thought turned my stomach.
As I was getting into my truck after practice, my phone buzzed with a text from Hayden.
Free for lunch?
Yeah. Now?
Yeah, you want to meet at Sandwiches N’ More?
On my way
Fifteen minutes later, I found a parking spot in a garage down the street from the sandwich shop. Hoping out of my truck, I made my way to the entrance and once inside, I spotted Hayden at a small table for two.
