I wrapped my wings around myself, still sitting on the floor, watching Auric work out in the corner. He was angry. Or maybe sad. Every few seconds, he glanced at me. But I pretended not to see him.
There really wasn’t anything left to say.
Novak was right—we needed to determine a course forward. Even if we escaped, I wouldn’t be able to return to my father in this state. So where would we go? Were we just going to hide while I tried to atone for my supposed sins? What kind of life would that be?
And more importantly, what kind of life would I be leading if I did somehow regain my white wings? A life without choice where my father dictated my every move?
I was a future queen. For all my life, I thought that implied I would one day lead. But my father hadn’t focused all that much on my leadership, more concerned with my courtship.
It took being here for me to realize that. All I knew was the dukedom. However, the Nora kingdom went far beyond that. The warriors existed to protect us, but they lived outside our walls.
There were servants, too.
And lower classes.
I knew none of them.
I barely even knew myself at this point.
I’d walked into my courtship with hope, expecting to find another suitable match. But none of them were right. What was I supposed to do? Fake a mating? It required a specific scent and bond. All Nora knew that.
Except my mother. She once commented that it didn’t necessarily require compatibility to mate. Well, more specifically, to produce offspring. She just mentioned it could be a little harder to perform.
I’d asked her then if she and my father were true mates. For the life of me, I couldn’t remember her actually replying. Instead, she’d shifted the conversation back to my schedule and the specific Nora my father wanted me to meet again.
Warmth touched my arm as Novak slid down the wall beside me, his freshly washed feathers locking with mine as he sat far too close. I looked over at him, startled by his nearness and comforted at the same time.
He said nothing, just watched me with that intense stare of his.
“Next time, I’m joining you in that shower, little cherry,”he’d said. His hypnotic eyes seemed to be repeating that statement now, his pupils flaring as he inhaled slowly, absorbing my scent.
My thighs clenched.
He’d known what I’d been doing in the bathroom. Which meant Auric probably did, too.
Because of course. My scent would have practically functioned as a beacon. But could they really blame me for seeking some much-needed relief? Sharing a bed withtwopotential mates was its own kind of torture.
I couldn’t have them. Yet Iverymuch wanted them. It wasn’t just the dreams, but everything about them.
Auric with his blatant authority and commanding presence. He had a soft side, too. One he rarely let anyone see. Usually only me, and not all that often. But that was part of what made it so special. It was how I knew he meant it.
And Novak. He was an enigma. A silent power that everyone knew was deadly. Yet he’d been so utterly patient and protective, and he showcased an intelligence that I longed to know better.
I didn’t love Novak, but I could.
And Auric… I’d given him my heart years ago. Perhaps not on purpose. However, he possessed it nonetheless. Even when he was cruel and angry, he still owned a piece of me. I suspected he always would.
But societal standards made a relationship between us forbidden.
Except, those standards no longer applied. And if Novak was to be believed, they might never apply to me again.
Because my reform was likely an impossibility.
“Did you feel different when you Fell?” I asked Novak, curious to learn more about his transition.
His gaze dropped to my mouth before lifting once more to give me another of those intense stares. “The only reason I noticed my Fall was because my wings had changed color,” he murmured. “Everything else felt the same.”
“That’s how it was with me, too,” I said softly. It just seemed appropriate to keep my voice low and quiet, but I knew Auric could hear me just fine. “It’s why I thought it had to be a trick of the light. I kept thinking that if I was Falling, I should at least sense something different.” But all that happened was the pigmentation of my wings shifting.
