* * *
“How many more sleeps until Santa comes?” Elsie is tugging on the hem of my sweater as she asks, and I’m pretty sure it’s the fourth time she’s asked today.
“Two more sleeps. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve.”
I’d tell her to check the advent calendar, but my dad got a craving in the middle of the night and opened all the doors so he could eat the chocolates. It’s not the first year he’s done it, either, so I’m not sure why we keep trying.
“Auntie Nat, Mister…that man is back!”
I freeze, my pulse racing as I try to remember how breathing works. It can’t be. Donovan’s gone back to his life and I stayed here in mine. He didn’t even take my call this morning when I finally worked up the nerve to call the number he’d added to my contacts. It had gone to voicemail, and I’d left a painfully awkward message thanking him for his donation.
But it had to be Donovan. That’s what Mel had called him.
And then I hear his voice. Mel laughing. The sound of Elsie abandoning me and running out to greet him.
I can’t move. Donovan is back, and I don’t know what it means. I’m afraid to hope, but I can’t help myself and I’m still standing in the middle of the kitchen when he appears in the doorway.
“Merry almost Christmas,” he says, and I make a weird gasping and sobbing and laughing sound.
“What’s going on?” my mother is asking as she walks in from the dining room, and then she stops when she sees Donovan. She looks back and forth between us a few times, and then gestures for Mel and Elsie to come to her. “Girls, I need you to help me with…something. Let’s go, um…somewhere else.”
When we’re alone again, I move toward Donovan and he moves toward me until we meet in the middle and his arms are around me. I’m trembling and I know he can feel it as he holds me tight with his cheek pressed to my hair.
“I’ve missed you so much,” he says in a rough voice, and I’m glad his very expensive sweater is absorbing my tears. “I know it’s only been a few days, but they were very long days.”
“You came back,” I manage to whisper.
“I couldn’t shake the Ghost of Christmas in Charming Lake, I guess.”
He pulls back when a door slams. I hear my mom talking, but I can’t make out the low, urgent words. Then there’s a lot of banging and the girls complaining they don’t want to play in the snow. More urgent voices. Then the door slams again and the house is quiet. The yard’s not, and it wouldn’t surprise me to see my mother and sister’s faces pressed against the window, but we’re as close to alone as we can get.
I take Donovan’s hand and lead him through the house to the sitting room. I don’t want to stand in the kitchen while he tells me why he came back. We sit on the sofa and he turns slightly, so he’s facing me.
“I don’t have a lot of experience with being vulnerable,” he says. “I swim with the sharks of the business world every day and any hint of weakness would make me the chum to their feeding frenzy. But this is different, and my feelings for you aren’t a weakness—they make me stronger. Only if those feelings are mutual, of course, so I came here to find out, but I had no plan other than opening my mouth and hoping the right words fall out.”
My heart is racing because I desperately want to know what my feelings for you means. I’m going to need him to be really specific about those feelings because the hope is becoming unmanageable.
“When you kidnapped me and took me out in the woods with your Jeep, you asked me if I was happy,” he continues.
“Was it really a kidnapping, though? You were driving.”
“I was coerced.”
I laugh at him. “Coerced? How did I coerce you into being the driver in your own kidnapping?”
“I don’t know, but you managed.” He clears his throat. “Anyway, when you asked me if I was happy… I didn’t know the answer to that question because I never really thought about it. It didn’t matter. My mother was happy and healthy and that made me feel good because that’s all I’ve wanted since the day my dad died.”
I squeeze his hand, but I don’t speak.
“When you called this morning, I didn’t answer because I was in my first therapy session.”
My breath catches in my chest, and I press my free hand to his cheek. “Donovan! That’s wonderful.”
“Yeah. I like her and I think she’s going to help me overcome the fear that’s been driving me.” He smiles, giving a little shrug. “And then I listened to your voicemail and I wanted to call you back, but I already knew I was coming here. I was afraid if the conversation was awkward, I wouldn’t come.”
“I’m glad you’re here. I missed you every second you were gone.”
Our gazes lock, and I can feel just the hint of trembling in his hand. “I know we haven’t known each other long, Natalie, but I’m falling in love with you. It’s strong and it’s real and I want to build a life together, no matter what it takes.”
