“Raffe,” he says before I close the door, “I’m not going to let you lose your family over this. I love you all too much to let that happen.”
The lump in my throat prevents me from saying anything back to him. I just close the door quietly. When I come back out, Ray’s gone but I’m not alone.
“Took you long enough,” I say.
Dirk doesn’t laugh. “You don’t get to be mad at my sister,” he says.
I brace my hand against the doorframe. “She lied to me. She lied to all of us.”
He stands up. “And you haven’t been?”
“Fuck no, I haven’t.”
In one swift motion he has me pinned to the ground on my back.
“Get the fuck off me!”
“You never loved Rachel. You don’t think she saw that?” he yells, spitting in my face.
I try to push him away. “Fuck you.”
“No, fuck you.” He shoves off me. “I don’t know if I can forgive you for this.”
“Forgive me? I haven’t done anything wrong!”
He paces around the room. “She knew you’d leave her if you found out Jenny was alive. Fuck, she had to carry that around all by herself. For once put yourself in her shoes.”
“You don’t know that.Shedidn’t know that.” I spin in a circle. “Fuck, Dirk, she didn’t even give me a chance to be loyal to her.”
“You used me to forget about Jenny, and then Jesse, and then Rachel.”
My gaze snaps to his. “Is that what you really think?”
His hands rest on his hips, and he shakes his head without answering. “You don’t get to make her look like the bad guy,” hesays, walking toward the door. “She’s not the one who chose to stay away from you. That was Jenny.”
Dirk is the most ruthless man I’ve ever met. His venomous words are meant to sting, and they do.
Two can play this game. “Maybe you’re the one who’s jealous, because your wife can’t seem to stay away from me.”
He stops at the door but doesn’t turn around. “I should kill you for that.”
“Do it.”
“Naw. I’m not going to let you off that easy.”
When the door closes behind him, I collapse on the floor. My entire life is falling apart, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
I rush up the stairs and watch as Dirk shrugs Ray off. The regret of my words tips the scale, making me feel off kilter. I should go down and correct the imbalance right now.
Panic rises as the man who’s been my beacon, my north star, my tether starts his truck. Why does it feel like there’s suddenly an earthquake under my feet? The gravel crunches beneath the tires as he pulls away.
I inhale deeply, filling my lungs with a great feeling of aloneness. He left … I shouldn’t have said those things, but he’s wrong. I know he’s wrong. I pull the letter from his sister out of my pocket.
Raffe,
I’m sorry for leading you to believe that I was a better person than I was, but what I’m not sorry for is keeping you to myself.
My hand falls onto my lap. Dirk was right. She thought I’d leave her.
