Gabe raised his brows, and I swore the expression on his face readReally? I think considering I had my tongue down your throat, you can ask me anything.“I meant what I said when I told you that you can ask me whatever you want.”
I played with a frayed thread on the couch, tugging it and trying to buy myself some time. “It’s…more personal than some of the other things we’ve talked about.”
He shrugged. “Ask anyway. If it’s something I don’t want to share, I won’t.” He reached over, setting his large hand over mine and calming my fidgeting fingers. “You can ask me anything, Lily.”
My heart lurched in my chest at his openness, but I was worried he wouldn’t think that after my question. “I was wondering,” I said, thinking over my words carefully, “why youweren’t at Vera’s funeral. I don’t think you were there. Or maybe I didn’t see you?”
Had this been a few weeks ago, I wouldn’t have offered him an out. I also didn’t think I would’ve asked him—I would’ve instead told him I thought he was an asshole for not showing up. But that wasn’t fair, and that wasn’t who I was. I usually gave people the benefit of the doubt—and I wanted to do the same for Gabe.
His whole body stiffened, but he kept his hand on mine. His throat bobbed as he swallowed, and he looked around the room. Anywhere but me.
“No,” he ultimately said, the one word packing an emotional punch. “I wasn’t there.”
I stayed quiet, giving him the space and time to share more if he wanted to.
“I didn’t know about it. Not until a few weeks later.” His voice brought my full attention back to him. “And it was too late by then. My father knew, and you’d think he would’ve told me but…I was out of town for a business meeting, closing a deal for him. He said later he didn’t tell me because he didn’t want to distract me. But…in reality, I think he didn’t tell me because he knew I’d leave the meeting for the funeral without any hesitation. He put his business—money—above family yet again, and it’s—” Gabe shook his head. “It shouldn’t surprise me by now, but it still does. Because I don’tget it. I don’t get how he knew about it and didn’t show up, how he kept it from me and told me in passing once I got back. Like he just fucking forgot. I should’ve gotten the chance to make that decision, but I didn’t, and now I have to live with it.”
There was a tightness in my chest, my heart in my throat as I listened to him, the pain dripping from his words. My stomach twisted in guilt over how I thought the worst of him when he firstgot to town, how I held this against him without knowing the truth.
My heart shattered for him now that I knew.
“Gabe, that’s so unfair to you,” I said softly. I slid my hand from under his, resting it on top and gripping his fingers tightly. “I’m so sorry that you couldn’t make the decision for yourself and that he kept this from you. And I’m sorry for what you’ve had to deal with since getting into town, me included, when no one’s known the truth.”
Gabe turned his head, finally looking at me. His expression softened. “Thank you,” he responded, as if no one had acknowledged what he’d gone through. “Vera and I weren’t all that close as I got older, but…”
“It still hurts,” I finished.
“Yeah,” he said quietly with a nod. “It still hurts.” Gabe inhaled deeply, held his breath for a few counts, and slowly exhaled. “He always”—Gabe let out a dry, humorless laugh—“tells me I care too much. I’m too sensitive. Maybe he’s right.” He looked over at me, pain swirling in his golden-brown eyes. “Maybe it’s true. Maybe I do care too much and I shouldn’t.”
The way he rasped the words caused my heart to crack—not only for the man next to me but for the boy who likely grew up hearing this over and over.
Tears welled in my eyes as I vehemently shook my head. “There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s not a bad thing. It’s agoodthing. People should care more about others.”
There was so much emotion swirling around in his eyes that I couldn’t believe I ever thought Gabe was cold. That he didn’t feel.
He feltso much. He felt everything around him.
And I saw now that he carried that with him, whether he wanted to or not. Maybe it weighed him down at times, but it never stopped him. He was here, after all.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and blinked my tears away. “I like that you care so much. That you feel so deeply—it’s a strength. You’re willing to help people you don’t know, like Marnie, or come visit a town where you’re walking into the unknown and are still making an effort to get to know people. You care deeply, and I think that’s one of my favorite things about you.”
His brow quirked, and he tilted his head to the side. “One of?”
Of course, that’s what he picked up on. I let out a laugh. “Yes, one of. Turns out, you’re not so bad, and there’s a few things I like about you.” I stopped there, but he looked at me expectantly.
“C’mon, what’s another?”
Twisting my lips to the side, I hummed as if I needed more time. “Even though it’s a bit of a pain for me, I like how determined and dedicated you are. I like how good you are with the cats. And…I like that when I said I needed you, you got over here as fast as you could.” I gave his hand a squeeze. “You have a big”—Gabe looked over at me, the corner of his mouth tipping up—“heart,” I finished.
“Right.” He huffed a laugh.
I swatted at his arm, picking up on where his mind initially went. He likely had that, too…but I wouldn’t be finding that out.
My expression softened. “I mean it, Gabe.”
“I know you do.” His eyes met mine. “That’s…quite possibly the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. Thank you.”
“You don’t need to thank me for that. Also, when you’re ready, you should ask Hal to tell you more about Vera. He loves talking about her, and I’m sure he would be happy to share some of his favorite moments. They both talked about you a lot—Hal still does.”
