Tension lines Liam’s forehead, and dark bags sit beneath his eyes from years of stress and hiding. Six years, to be exact. Six years of his life, and Rose’s, wasted trying to change my future. They’ve lost so much time on the impossible. What if they never stop? They’ll waste their whole lives.
Rose and Liam have continuously stressed to me the importance of living my life to its fullest, but when is the time for them to live theirs?
I force away the pain of my heart shattering and the cry building at the back of my throat. I wipe the tears from my cheeks. “Okay,” I whisper, my body shaking. “I’ll throw it away. If you promise to do something for me.”
His eyes lifts to mine, and he nods.
“I want you to stop. Stop trying to change what happened at Neurovida and stop putting others before yourself. You’ve spent so much of your life concentrating on other people. Rose too. I want you to stop focusing on what you can’t control and focus on what you can. I want you and Rose to be happy. Find a place where you can both be safe and live your lives. I don’t want you to spend another second trying to save me.”
His body tenses. “Ella—”
“Please. You need to forget about me.”
“That’s like telling me not to breathe,” he says quietly.
The truth shines in his eyes—he won’t sacrifice me for himself. Ever. Unless I force his hand. “Liam, I’ll take this antidote unless you promise to let this go.”
“This is bigger than you and me. There are other members of Alpha who Rose and I need to save.”
“They wouldn’t want you saving their lives at the cost of your own. You told me once you’d never lie to me. So, I want you to promise me. Swear it to me now. If you love me at all, you will stop trying to change your past. And even if you could stop my death, I don’t want to go to Neurovida. I want to stay at college and become a psychologist. All I’ve ever wanted is to be normal, and this way I can.” The lies burn my throat, but I hold his defeated, amber gaze. “Promise me.”
Liam stares back for an eternity, his face filled with torment. Finally, he whispers, “I promise.”
“Promise me you’ll try to move on.” I force out my next sentence, the words tasting like poison. “If you meet someone, I would… find a way to understand.”
Liam’s eyes lock with mine, so many unspoken words hanging between us. I step toward him and pull him against me. Squeezing my eyes shut, I breathe him in—warm cedar mixed with the freshness of cut grass. His arms wrap around me, but he doesn’t pull me firmly against him like his younger self had.
“Goodbye,” he whispers into my hair. “You’re going to have a wonderful life, Ella. Don’t waste a second of it.”
“I won’t,” I say, tightening my arms around him, but it doesn’t stop him vanishing for what I know will be the last time.
39Rose
Waves kiss the side of the yacht, rocking me back and forth while I wait for Liam’s return. We’re still in the past, anchored off the coast of a tiny island. It’s safer out here. We figure any traveler looking for us will be dissuaded, should they get their time wrong and end up in the middle of the ocean instead of on our boat. But even my renewed sense of security and the beauty of the afternoon can’t soothe my nerves.
I’m picking at my nails when he materializes at the bow. He slips off his shoes and walks the length of the boat barefoot, body stiff despite his casual boating attire. He sits beside me, resting his arms on bent knees, and joins me in staring out at the horizon.
“Did she take the antidote?” I ask, breaking the silence.
“No,” he says, his voice raw. I release a deep breath. “She promised me she wouldn’t if I agreed to something in return.”
“Okay.” I study the side of his face, his golden features taut. He turns to face me, pain filling his light brown eyes.
“She made me promise to stop trying to change the past.” He slumps forward and rubs his hands over his face, speaking to the deck. “I said I would. Do you hate me?”
The wind picks up, ropes tinkling against the mast. “No,” I admit. I’mrelieved. Six grueling years we’ve spent trying to save her, without success. I stopped believing changing her fate was possible years ago, but he needed to come to the same realization on his own terms. If anything, Ella’s done us a favor. “I think… this is a good thing. I can’t keep doing this. It’s too much.”
He nods, his eyes watering. “I know.” He stands and disappears into the hull, reappearing with two beers in his hand. He opens one and passes it to me before he opens his own. We stare out at the sunset, the gentle lull of the ocean current rocking us.
“Do you think she has any idea what you’ve just done? The things you’ve saved her from?”The power she’s lost.
“No,” he says. “And I hope she never does.”
He slips his hand into mine, and I give it a gentle squeeze before he lets go. Six years and my pulse still jumps every time he touches me.
He wipes the tears from his cheeks. “Now we look forward. We live,” he says, holding out his beer. “To the Alphas.”
I clink my bottle against his, my voice wavering as I say, “To the Alphas.” I take a swig and rest my head on his shoulder. We sit in companionable silence, the sun disappearing behind the horizon. Now is the time to mourn our losses. To let go of our past.
