“I like this side of you,” he says.
I scrunch my nose. “Am I different to my future self?”
Parker pauses, his mouth tugging to the side. “A bit. In the future you’re more—” His eyes narrow. “Shy isn’t the right word. Reserved, maybe?”Reserved?The dream version of myself seems anything but. “Once you got to know me, it didn’t take you long to speak your mind.” The corner of his mouth kicks up. “Or call me on my shit. You were intelligent and beautiful, of course, as you are now.”
My cheeks warm.
“And you almostneverblushed,” he adds. “You should do it, you know? Start living your life.”
I roll my eyes. “Just because I won’t give up my responsibilities and party every night doesn’t mean I’m not living my life.”
“No, but for the time we were watching you, there weren’t any classes missed or crazy nights out with Anna.”
“There wasone,” I say with a scoffing laugh.
“That was after.” Parker leans toward me, and every cell in my body tingles with a nervous energy, like water simmering in a pot. “I mean it, start living. Do all those things you just said you would. You only live once, so you should live every day without regret.”
I eye him. “I’ll work on it.” Sheets rustle in the bedroom, and Rose sighs in her sleep. “What was Rose like when you first met her?”
Parker laughs. “Exactly the same as she is now. Argumentative, opinionated, angry at the world,” he says, and though his words are unkind, the light in his eyes betrays him.
I rest my head on my hand and stare up at him. “And what about you?”
“What about me?” he says with a lazy smile.
“What were you like when you got recruited?”
Parker barks out a quick laugh. “Young and dumb.”
“What’s changed?” I ask with a tiny smile, and Parker feigns offense.
“Fair call. It did take me a while to see what was right in front of me.” He stares at me with a molten thirst in his eyes, as though he won’t make the same mistake again.
My breath hitches. “What name do you call me in the future?”
“Next question.”
Damn it.“If you don’t tell me, I might pick a different name when I get recruited. What if you being here changes my decision and I’ll never know?”
Parker laughs. “I thought you weren’t going to Neurovida.”
The smile on my mouth falls. “I’m not,” I say.
“You are. And your name won’t change.”
“How can you be so sure?” I lean forward. “Have you ever tried to change the past?”
“Next question,” he says, and I huff, shrugging off the twitchy feeling in my arms.
“Isn’t it disconcerting calling me Ella after calling me something else for so long?”
Parker leans forward, his body tense, and an emotion I can’t read flickers across his face. “Yes.”
Am I making him nervous? I smile, brushing my fingertips over my lips.
Parker tilts his head, watching me with furrowed brows. “You did that in the future, too. Hid your smile. I always wondered why.”
I shrug, glancing at my hands. Why does he drag his hands through his hair when he’s at a loss, or tuck his hands into his pockets when… okay, I’m still figuring that one out.
