They don’t think I’m a monster. I now have a ship and a team of people who believe in me.
What I don’t have is Marlowe and Vee. I think this is a hurt that’s going to take me a very long time to heal.
In the middle of a tangential conversation, Beau suddenly pops their head up, eyes wide. “Wait.”
My heart clenches. “What?”
“Dibs on the second biggest cabin!”
And then they fling themselves away from the table and take off into the hallways of the ship. The rest of the crew take offbehind Beau, yelling and cackling, even the Archival brothers—Julian pulling Maximus along—in a manner so unbecoming of them I can only stare. Within seconds, the room is empty except for me and Devyaan. We share a laugh as he pulls up a chair.
“Linashae Tharzal? Really?” he quirks an eyebrow.
I stare. “You watchZhaarn tala Ruya?”
Under the Red Sunis a poorly made soap opera, but it’s the only one ever produced in Suryavana and therefore has a cult following, though it’s mostly the older generation who watched it. Linashae Tharzal was a matriarch in the reigning family and myNayya’sfavourite character.
Devyaan has the decency to look mildly embarrassed. “It has its good moments.”
I shake my head, but I’m pleasantly surprised. I’ve used this identity elsewhere but never here, for obvious reasons. I only decided to use it in Suryavana this time because we’re more generous when we recognise a native, and that burner was as native as it gets. With a Tellurian name, I’d have been charged significantly more for theHomebound.
He sobers, and I feel his eyes on me like a probe—gentle, but probing nonetheless. “So… Marlowe and Vee left.”
Devyaan is incredibly intuitive and observant. I think he’s the most intelligent person I know, which means when he decides to try and cut my emotions out of me, it’s with surgical precision. I look away. “Let’s not.”
“How can I not? You bought a ship for them,kulâri.You hide your emotions well, but I see through you. You’re hurting.”
I weigh my words before I speak, because the last thing I want to do is lash out at him. I know he cares, but right now I wish he weren’t so observant after all. But it’s just not in our culture to ignore our feelings, which makes this so much moredifficult. What Devyaan is really saying is he thinks I didn’t try hard enough.
“I appreciate that you care, but I don’t want to talk about this. There’s nothing I can do about it. She made her choice, and we have to respect it.”
Devyaan nods, barely, before reaching out and clasping my hand.
“Eshamariyan neva weh,” the bastard says.
So very, very carefully, I get up and leave the room. I have to, before I fall to pieces on the galley deck. The day’s events weigh heavily on my body, and it’s like slogging through cement. My chest hurts again, even though the worst of the night is over and—for the first time in years—I have a promising future to look forward to. I’ve never wanted to sleep more, where at least in my dreams I might feel weightless.
Fresh Start
With so many passengers, I send the crew out for supplies the next morning. Dev slips away to visit his family—extending an invitation I politely decline—and the brothers offer to help me with chores. It surprises me enough that even Julian laughs at my expression. With the lines of his face softened, I can almost understand what Dev sees in him.
“We’re wealthy, not incompetent,” Maximus teases.
It’s just us on the ship for the day, and I’m looking forward to it. We glove up, grab some cleaning products and get to scrubbing the communal areas. Per Nero’s quick rundown, theHomeboundhasn’t been off Red Horizon in thirty years. Whilst the owner arranged regular upkeep, it was minimal. But theship can be forgiven for old decor, outdated tech, and dust bunnies because it has plenty of storage and spacious cabins. Julian would have had to bunk with Maximus if Dev wasn’t so eager to share, but it wouldn’t have been cramped. Khrys no longer has a med bay—more like a cupboard—but it’s otherwise perfect. Many roles will be combined on this tiny ship, but I don’t think it will be an issue. I have yet to inspect the rudimentary AI, but Beau can tackle that.
As a trio, the brothers and I have made a good start on deep cleaning by the time Beau and Khrys return. I’m sweating through my vest, stray hair sticking to my forehead, when they come careening into the hydroponic room. Beau takes a second to survey the empty but sparkling surfaces before turning to me.
“There’s a party tonight at the Gryphon Manor.”
The name forces tension into my muscles in a Pavlovian response that sets my teeth on edge. I barely stop myself from glaring at them. “Okay.”
The two exchange glances. Khrys tilts her head at me like I’m missing something important. “Dominik has an announcement.”
I push past them, taking the old bucket with me. I’ve finished this room anyway. I’ll rummage through the supplies and get the garden set up. With a much more basic filtration system, we could do with having it ready to go sooner rather than later. Unfortunately, Beau and Khrys don’t take the hint and follow me.
“Come on, Cap. Do you really need us to spell it out?” Beau calls behind me.
“No. I need you to leave me alone and go do something productive.”
