I woke up with a thousand more questions, and I plan to get answers. Tanisira and I need to lay it all out on the table, especially because we’ve become so entangled in each other within such a short time. The situation is ripe for misunderstandings, and I don’t want to risk that happening when we only have two days left.
I go in search of the captain and find her on the bridge, standing next to her station. A goofy smile blooms on my face. Pausing by the door, I admire her strong figure. The tenderness of her touch last night, the gift of it, still plays on a loop in my mind.
“You sure know how to make a woman—”
“Marlowe,” she practically yells, spinning around with wide eyes.
It cuts me off mid-sentence, amazed. But then the chair beside her spins around, and Vee peers across at me with a huge grin. What a conversation that would have been.
“Good morning, baby.” I smile back at him, approaching. “What are you doing in here?”
“Captain Sek—” he stops at the noise she makes. “Tanisirasaid I could watch her captain the ship. It’s so much easier than I thought; even I could do it, Mum.”
Tanisira and I share an amused look. “Is that right?”
“She keeps saying these things mostly fly themselves!”
“They do.” Tanisira shrugs nonchalantly. “A ship of this calibre, anyway. Kit is very expensive technology, and it shows.”
“Sounds like you could replace her, Vee, and no one would be the wiser.” I nudge him.
Tanisira surprises me by joking. “I wouldn’t say no to a break.”
“On that note,” I say, “I’m going to borrow Tanisira here for a moment. You can hold down the fort, right?”
“Yes, ma’am!”
We put a few feet of space between us, and I tilt my head a little, eyeing Tanisira. “I’m sure I should be offended that my son wants to spend more time with you than me... but I don’t do anything nearly as cool.”
The corner of her mouth quirks, but there’s something else there, too. “Well, he has you for the rest of his life, and only me for the next few days.”
It sits in the air between us. I make an effort to overlook it.
“Speaking of,” I lower my voice. “I think you owe me a date.”
Her eyebrows shoot up. “A date?”
I nod. “A date.”
“I’m interested in the phrasing you’ve used. I owe you?”
Gaia, my heart skips a beat. Tanisira joking with me, her eyes lit up in a way that rejuvenates her, is a sight. It’s in stark contrast to the grim lines of her face yesterday, and her beauty shines through in bursts of joy.
“Where are you gonna take me?”
I catch the exact moment when she goes to pull me in but curbs the action. She ends up twitching instead, and I bite backa smile. I don’t mind affection in front of others, but I don’t want Vee to think we’re together, only to say goodbye to her later. I previously told Tanisira this, and even though it’s nice she remembered, a part of me clenches. I want her to touch me so badly. I always want her to touch me.
“Hmm, there’s simply too much choice. We could visit the cargo bay, or perhaps the engine room. I know a supply closet with wonderful lighting.”
A giggle escapes me. “You had me at ‘closet’.”
Tanisira’s smile fades and she stares at me, the amber in her eyes like melted gold. I’m caught in her gaze: a creature trapped in resin. My skin feels electrified, the scent of her all I can smell. She takes me in, and I want to know what she’s thinking, what she wants. Time seems to stop.
Something changed yesterday. I don’t know what, can’t conceptualise it except to say that the shape of us feels smaller, closer. She told me something harrowing, something that haunts her; unburdened herself and trusted me. Even still, there’s a hesitancy in her, as though she’s waiting for the other shoe to drop.
When the spell breaks, Tanisira swipes her tongue over her bottom lip and steps away deliberately. “I’d love to take you on a date,” she says wryly. “But I promised Vee he could spend the whole day with me.”
And isn’t it just silly that I experience, for the first time, jealousy of my own child? I love him, I know he adores her, and I want him to spend time learning things that interest him. But I also need this day. It’s not a problem if Vee’s the third wheel—or, more accurately, me.
