Jasper’s eyes widen. He snatches his hand back, stealing the sense of connection away and leaving me oddly…bereft.
“I shouldnae have assumed—” he begins.
Leo scoffs, folding his arms. “Did she sound like she was complaining? Now, Kyrie, back to the sacrifice.”
“She doesn’t need this right now,” Eddy interrupts.
At the same time, Dakari grumbles, “Stop messing with her name like that.”
Shaking my head, I take a deep breath and hold up a hand for peace before they can fall into more squabbles. Besides…I kind of like how he says ‘Kyrie’ in that silky accent.
“My murderers never bothered to fill me in on the details.” I sigh. “After I was stabbed, I woke up as a ghost and banished them. The Arcanaeum ripped itself free of the dimension you all call home, and the spire dripped some kind of crystallising magic onto my corpse.”
“Why?” he presses.
“I don’t know why.” Irritation flares, tension tightening the muscles across my shoulders. “I don’t have any answers for you. No one involved ever thought to give me any.”
“And while I was searching for solutions to the cracks, you never thought to mention that your corpse was experiencing the same phenomenon?” Leo says.
I share a look with Dakari, because he was the only one who knew, and the Talcott heir leans forward, tilting his head in a clear offer to halt Leo’s line of questioning.
Gritting my teeth, I shake my head.
“I didn’t mention it because, at the time, I believed my death was inevitable. The cracks were inexplicable. In the end, after Pierce and his grandfather ambushed me?—”
“Pierce didwhat?” Dakari straightens fully, hands fisting by his sides as Jasper’s murmured spells stutter out. Even Leo’s jaw clenches, his icy eyes hardening.
“He cracked you as well,” Leo guesses. “I’m guessing it was a targeted attack.”
Swallowing, I jerk my eyes back to my hands. It’s not hard to talk about, just embarrassing that I fell for such an obvious distraction. To be fair, I’d expected the Arcanaeum to warn me…
“Carlton actively attempting to harm the Librarian has implications,” Leo continues. “You should’ve come to us with this, or told the other parriarchs.”
Before or after he’d finished blaming me for activating his curse? I pin him with an unimpressed glare that I hope conveys that sentiment, and he huffs out an aggravated breath.
“I’ll kill him.” The trinkets on my shelves rattle, as if to punctuate Dakari’s statement, and I still them with a thought.
“After he cracked me,” I continue, not wanting to discuss Pierce, his grandfather, or that strange encounter, “and I realised that the Arcanaeum helped him do it, I was upset. I decided it was better to get it over with.”
Eddy reaches across, arm surrounding my shoulders in a hug.
“Get it over with?” Galileo turns on his heel and paces away from me, rubbing his temples. “Fecking stars above.”
“Oh, because you’re dealing so much better at being subjected to a magical predicament outside of your control.” There’s no way I’m letting him get away with that hypocrisy. “I’m fed up with being nothing more than a tool for arcanists to use. Ever since the day they plucked me off the streets and tricked me onto that altar, I’ve been nothing but another pawn for the six families to play with.”
Him included. My hands fist in the sheets, and I drag a harsh breath in through my nose, willing myself to calm down.
“You have no idea what it’s like to die every single night. I just wanted one good memory. A kind touch. One person who saw me as something more…” Damn, my voice is breaking again.
Eddy’s hug tightens, and the blankets around me tuck a little closer—the Arcanaeum’s doing.
The building seems…tired. I barely noticed it before, but the more I focus on it, the more I realise that the exhaustion isn’t solely my own. We’re both drained.
“Hey, it’s okay,” she says.
Is it? I was overwhelmed before I kissed Lambert. Now it’s a hundred times worse. Magic, was blinking away tears always so ineffective?
I scrub a hand across my eyes. “I thought, with your promises to protect the Arcanaeum, I’d done my duty.” My forehead drops onto my knees, sparing me from seeing their reactions. “Lambert’s and North’s grades were improving. No one required sanctuary or healing, and my assistance with the ensorcellment only led to disaster. What was left for me to do?”
