Chapter 5
Present
“Is he alive?”I pant out in a rush of exhaled breath, rushing toward London and Doreen Lucas, Cam’s momma.
They sit like two mannequins in the plastic hospital waiting room chairs at Nashville General Trauma Center, until London hears my voice and jumps into my open arms.
She comes willingly, her slight frame dropping into my embrace like a stone being pulled down in a raging river, the weight of the water drowning her. Over her shoulder Doreen’s head is bent in silent prayer, clutching a Kleenex in her hand.
“Baby, I’m here. Everything will be okay. I promise.”
These are obviously words that hold no meaning and are only meant to placate. She and I both know it, but she nods into my chest anyway, because to think otherwise right now has too many implications.
Loosening my hold, I cup her jaw and lift her face to meet my gaze. London’s eyes are red-rimmed from all the tears, puffy bags under her lids. It still doesn’t detract one ounce from her beauty. She has naturally sun-kissed, dewy skin that is flawless even without makeup. A face I’ve kissed goodnight for years and awoken to even when I didn’t deserve to be laying beside her.
I owe London so much for being there for me through all the difficult times. Now is my chance to be strong for her. Hold her up when she needs me most.
“What’s the status? Do you know anything more? Should I go talk to the doctors?”
She grabs my hand and pulls me toward Doreen, who finally lifts her head to stare at me. She blinks a few times and then her expression turns white – as if she’s seen a ghost.
“Sage? Is that you?”
She hasn’t seen me in over ten years. Not since I was handed down my sentence and remanded to the state pen.
Although Doreen and her husband, Mike, tried to visit me a few times while I was locked away, I turned them away. They had been more of a parental influence growing up than my own mom or dad, which made my shame even greater. Therefore, I chose to stay away.
They gave up after the second year of my sentence and then even the letters from Doreen stopped coming. I understood why. Her own son was overseas fighting a war and her husband had just passed away.
Slowly dragging my heavy-guilt-laden feet toward her, I bend to hug her gently. Her bony-body trembles under my touch and I fight back tears that threaten to spill.
“Hi, Dori. It’s been a while. I’m so sorry…” The words catch in my throat. I swallow thickly. “I’m sorry about everything.”
London steps around us and sits on the opposite side of Cam’s mom and I sit down on her right, clasping her petite, aged hand in mine.
“I can’t lose my only living child,” she wails in anguish, and I squeeze her hand tighter, meeting London’s concerned gaze over Doreen’s head.
Swinging my arm around her shoulder, London lays a hand on top of mine, as together we try to comfort her the best way we know how.
London’s voice holds an authority of conviction. “You won’t, Doreen. Cameron Lucas is the strongest man I know.”
“Can you tell us what’s going on? What information has been given to you by the doctors and staff?”
She sniffles and weeps. “Not much. Only that the first responding ER doctors indicated that after their initial assessment, the burns looked to be second-degree and they’ve put him into a medically induced a coma to keep him sedated for the next few days while they assess his situation. They’ve checked his lungs for soot and smoke inhalation. They have intubated him to help his breathing and will be doing some scans to see what internal damage may have occurred. A burn specialist is being called in and that’s all I know.”
Goddammit. How the hell did this happen?
“He’ll make it. Don’t you worry. I’ll make sure he has all the best medical care there is. He’s not going through this alone.” My voice is firm and unwavering.
London’s lips curve up in a slight smile and she nods her head. Then her body seizes in panic.
“Where’s Taylor? Does Lisa know?”
Doreen begins to cry harder, an inconsolable grief that cuts me to the bone.
“The paramedics initially called Lisa who didn’t answer, so they called me. I called her when I arrived here earlier tonight, and she said she wasn’t going to bring Taylor to see him. That it was Cam’s fault he’s in this situation because he wanted to go into this career. She’s such a horrible woman. I just can’t believe Cam ever fell for someone like her.”
Doreen’s sobs bring me back to the day I was sentenced in the courtroom ten years earlier. Cam had already shipped off to boot camp and London was at school in Nashville and couldn’t get back for the sentencing, but Doreen, Mike, and London’s parents were there all seated in the front row. I heard Dori crying from behind me as she wept over the injustice and unfairness of it all.
And here we are again, and she’s still fighting the universe’s injustice but this time it’s her own son. Her only living family member, aside from her grandson.
I was absolutely floored when Cam told me about his failed marriage to Lisa and his son, Taylor. It just seemed so strange to me that he had this whole life outside of what he’d shared between me and London. But I could tell how happy Taylor made him – and howunhappyLisa made his life during their divorce – yet he still smiled, saying the best gift life had ever given him was Taylor’s birth.
Then I remember something else Cam had shared with me that morning on the porch. He’d admitted to almost ending his life. He was ashamed of his weakness and felt that some guardian angel had been looking out for him that day, sending both Taylor and London out to him on that dock. Cam realized he hadn’t wanted to die. He had too much to live for.
And now he’s in a hospital room close to death.
The cruel irony of our fates.
It seems the same punishing forces had a hand in my life, as well, when I was sent to prison.
