Are you wondering about my dream?
Your father is aggravating. Don’t get me wrong, he’s one of the best men I’ve ever known, besides my own father and grandfather, but... still aggravating. I believe he has been attracted to Row since the moment we all met each other. I won’t tell you of Rowan’s feelings. She barely tells her sisters, so I would never break her trust. I wonder what your dad would think if he knew my little sister will be seeing Ciaran later.
I thought you destroyed me on New Year’s Eve. My sisters have helped me realize you didn’t destroy me, but you did hurt me. Badly. You’ve explained your feelings. Some days it helps to know them. On other days, I’m still hurt. Badly. Sometimes I wonder, would you feel the same as I did? Would you be as hurt if another man’s hands grasped my body and pulled me tight against him? Would you mind if I rubbed my core up and down his cock? If I let him put his tongue down my throat?
Would it hurt you? Badly?
The daisy dishes are perhaps the most fantastic gift I’ve ever received. I use them. Every day.
Did you know that I smile and laugh when I really want to cry? I go out with friends when I really want to curl up in bed? That I say, ‘No problem’ when I really want to say, ‘No?’
Has Bran hinted at Baby O’s name? Raven won’t give me anything. I adore how Rave decorated the baby’s room. My sister and your brother are going to be the best parents in the history of great parents.
We were both naked. In your bed. In your master suite. In my dream, that is.
I love Mr. Dunn (Devlen) already. He is everything I would have wished for Nan. I will worry for her less. I don’t understand her giving up her house, though. She loves that house. I plan on speaking with my sisters after Baby O gets here about seeing if we can swing buying it from her. Rowan and I can stay where we are quite a bit longer, I imagine.
That house is... where my parents are.
I got a new client that wants one-of-a-kind furniture. I love that. Money is no issue. I love that more. I have planned a quick trip to Scotland with Jo and Thomas. There is a master furniture builder in Nairn that I’m dying to meet. I’ve heard he’s quite the grumpy recluse, but his work is worth any amount of ’tude. I plan on flying to Inverness and renting a car. Lord, I wish that Delton shithead would be caught already. I hate dragging MacGregor out of Dublin, but Jo wanted to go, which means Honey Bunny is definitely going.
Do you think Jo’s guard will continue to stand by her side even when the stalker is caught? I do.
In my dream, your body was curled around mine. My back to your chest. My head rested on your right bicep. Your left arm wrapped around my middle. My breasts grazed your skin. My bottom pressed tightly to your sex. I pressed against your hardness. You moaned and pulled me tighter. I wanted you inside me.
I might meet you. Sometime. Before Baby O.
In my dream, I feel safe. I feel loved.
But you hurt me. Badly.
I wonder, every hour of every day if I can forget.
I want to, Patrick. I want to forgive and forget.
I want to hear you say, “I will never hurt you again, River. I vow it.”
I want to believe you.
Still yours. Maybe,
River
The highest of highs and the lowest of lows.
The high— River missed him. She didn’t want him to leave Dublin. She had the painting done— for him, fromonlyher. She would meet him. Sometime. She dreamed of him, of them, together. She wanted to forgive him. She was still his.
The low— River was going out with friends. Patrick isn’t one of them. He’d hurt her. Badly. She made him visualize her with another man. It was a cruel punishment. He deserved it. She wanted to forgive him. She might not be able to. She was still his. Maybe.
He didn’t look at his dad. If he met with sympathy, he would crumble. He noticed all the food containers on the bar. He hadn’t realized it had been delivered. He refolded the letter and gently placed it in the envelope. More deep breaths. There were hard things in the letter, but there were a lot of amazing things too. Really amazing. He had to focus on the amazing. The alternative... No.
How would he ask her to meet him without her phone number? Would it be a date? After she mentioned Ciaran, he figured River and Rowan were going to Murphys tonight. Would it be a mistake to go to the pub if it was only for a moment? Just long enough to ask her for a time to meet.
He looked at his dad, who was now sitting quietly by his side. “Let’s eat. I’m starved.” She said she would meet him. Nothing else mattered.
29
Murphy’s was packed. The pub’s live music on Friday nights always drew a crowd. Josh and Sadhbh arrived early to get a table between the band and the bar. Prime real estate. Ciaran and Cormac kept their table full of appetizers and drinks. River could eat the mini crab cakes here for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. They werethatgood. Cormac told Josh earlier that once the kitchen slowed down, they would come join their table.
