They were all laughing and singing, taking shots, and stomping their feet to the bodhrán’s beat. River was doing her best to keep herself present, but wondering what Patrick thought of her letter was distracting as hell. Oh God, she’d told him she’d dreamed of him. She admitted she missed him.
River said she’d meet him— full body shudder. That was either the worst or the best part of the letter, depending on the angle she studied the words. It had been her attempt at reconciliation.Andshe said she’d see himbeforeBaby O’s arrival. Was she weak? It didn’t feel weak. It felt... not right exactly, but inevitable. After several weeks of contemplation— contemplating her life in a gazillion different scenarios —Patrick was in all of them! No matter where her ponderings wandered, River’s mind introduced Patrick as a keynote speakerconsistently. At this point, she expected his presence in her dreams, night or day.
Daydream Example A. She was enjoying a breakfast muffin and hot tea alone at a local cafe. She was reading a romance novel, and the early morning sun warmed her face through the windowpanes. She was content. She looked freaking content, for crying out loud! Happy. Satisfied with life. A second later, she was tilting her head to the side to accept Patrick’s kiss against the tender skin of her neck. He sat across from her, his own muffin and coffee before him. It felt right.
There were several X-rated night dreams, of course. River knew better than pullingthoseoutnow— in public.
Daydream Example B. River was visiting Nan for a quiet weekend getaway. While her grandma repotted several plants in her attached greenhouse, River spent hours weeding the flower garden and pinching and pruning all the brilliantly colored shrubs and flowers outside. Kneeling amidst the fragrant plants, she looked around with a sense of peace and accomplishment. She looked to the left and smiled at Pat, who was bringing out a cold glass of water. That felt right too.
River was shaken from her musings when Ciaran and Cormac brought more shots and loud greetings, their energy high and smiles bright. They must have gotten a break from their duties finally. Cormac sat to her left, giving her a good-natured bump to the side. She smiled, taking the offered shot with a happy, “You’re the best, Cor!”
It was tons easier to be around the oldest Murphy once he realized River was not interested in dating him. Ciaran was still hopeful where Rowan was concerned. If his constant close proximity and heart emoji eyes fixated on her little sister weren’t enough, he touched Rowan’s hand, arm, or hair at least once every two minutes. It didn’t look like she minded, but she certainly wasn’t encouraging— more.
Daydream Example C. She was jogging in the park before work. It was still cool enough that her breath puffed white clouds with each exhalation. Earbuds firmly in place, her feet pounding toThe Killby Thirty Seconds to Mars. She loved her morning runs. No meetings, no clients, no expectations other than making her body feel strong. Then, River realized she was jogging in perfect step next to Patrick. She knew he liked to jog, but they had never run together. Sighing, she admitted to herself that it had felt... right.
Before she could trek further downthatrabbit hole of alternate reality dreams, Rowan elbowed her side, not gently. “What the hell?” River hissed.
“Sadhbh tried to talk to you. Twice. You were totally zoned out. What is going on with you?”
“Crap. How rude of me.” River started to holler at Sadhbh and apologize for not paying attention, but Rowan said that the youngest Kennedy could tell River was in deep thought and was in no way offended, especially with the attractive blacksmith’s arm casually draped around her shoulders.
Rowan still waited for an answer. River considered lying about what was going on but discarded that route quickly enough. She and her sisters didn’t lie to one another. They might choose to stay silent but not outright lying. “The letter. Oh, God, Row. Do you think it was a mistake? I think it was a mistake. I wrote some of myrealfeelings,” she whisper-wailed in her sister’s ear. Thank God the band distracted everyone from her semi-meltdown.
“It’s about time Patrick knew, you idiot. You hide your true self all the time,” she held her hand up to stop River’s denial. “No, River. You do, and you know it. He needed tohearyou, even if the words were written. He needed to know you better, like you know him better through his letters. I wish I’d have thought of you writing back sooner.”
Daydream Example D: River was enjoying a night out with Rowan and their friends. She was dressed in a dark blue knit jumper Nan had made for her birthday last year. Her Nan’s sweaters made her feel loved. She was listening to music and taking shots of God knows what. She loved nights out with friends. She didn’t need a significant other to complete her. She could be a one-woman wolf pack.Thatis how flipping solid she was. So why...whywas she imagining Patrick walking through the pub’s front door? With Hugh?
Okay, no need to panic. This clearly wasn’t a daydream of ‘the wishful thinking’ variety. This was real life, and currently playing. “Row?” River nodded toward the front of the pub. “Is that... are they... really here?” Her body was an inferno. Fire and heat licked over her skin. So hot she felt cold shivers prickle her neck.
“I told Patrick I was meeting you. But not where!” Her unblinking eyes were anime-large. Rowan looked sick. Like she’d done something that could potentially hurt her sister.
“No, Row. No,” Rowan repeated, shaking her head. “I did it. Jesus, it was me. I told Patrick in the letter that we were going out tonight. He’d mentioned Hugh inhisletter and... he said... shit.” River sighed. Hugh’s treatment of her youngest sister had pissed River off. “I’m sorry, Row. I shouldn’t have said it or written it, I guess, but I asked Pat if Hugh would care that you would be seeing Ciaran tonight.” Rowan visibly flinched. “Oh God. Please forgive me, Row. Please tell me you forgive me,” River begged. She’d basically waved a red flag in front of an alpha O’Faolain.
Rowan’s cheeks puffed up as she sucked in air and held it before slowly exhaling. “I would forgive you if there was something to forgive. Hugh made it clear that we will never be... anything. Who I see is none of that man’s business,” Rowan waved her hand between them. Moving on. “The important bit is Patrick. Hello! Your ex is here, and I don’t think he came to Murphy’s for any reason except to find you. So, decide now. Hide or Seek?”
River could see the two men edging the room. Looking for them. She had only a minute before he found her. Maybe less. And, oh wow, Pat looked— like he always looked. Handsome, dangerous, and delicious. His messy white, blond hair partially hid his right eye, the amber gold of the left eye reflecting the pub’s light. He wore a brown leather jacket, crème sweater, and denim jeans. O’Faolain casual was runway-worthy.
Hide or Seek? It was her favorite childhood game. She wasn’t a child anymore. Grabbing her sister’s hand and squeezing, she took her eyes off Patrick for a moment to focus on Rowan. “Seek.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.” If River’s voice trembled, her loyal sister didn’t comment.
“I’m coming with you.” Rowan looked fierce. She wasn’t taking no for an answer. She caught Josh’s attention, completely ignoring the Murphys, and told him they’d be back. They stood, and in the dim light, they could have been twins. Rowan placed her fingers against River’s cheek, a brief touch, a moment to remember she wasn’t alone.
Hand in hand, they walked toward the two men they’d been avoiding— the two men they wanted most in the world.
* * *
There she was.The woman Pat loved. The only woman. The woman he would die a thousand times for. The woman that he had hurt. Badly.
She and Rowan were looking right at him and Dad. Patrick nudged his dad’s side. There was no mistake. They weren’t looking for the restrooms. Those were in the opposite direction. Halfway across the pub, Ciaran Murphy stopped Rowan. He wrapped a hand around her arm, stopping her momentum. He felt his dad’s fury swell. He took a step toward the sisters, but Patrick grabbed his arm.
“Reel it in, Dad. They are coming to us. Donotmake a scene. Please.” Patrick’s desperation must have gotten through. He reluctantly stepped back against the bar. Patrick wasn’t foolish enough to believe a crisis had been averted between his father and River’s sister. Rowan was patting Ciaran’s arm, smiling and laughing.
Oh, Christ. Ciaran looked up, making eye contact with the berserker standing beside him. Don’t do it, Murphy. Don’t fucking do it. He did it. He hugged Rowan, pulling her into his body, a possessive hand at her back. The nail in his coffin was the kiss he placed on her cheek. His dad was an ethical man, but in this, Patrick could envision his father ruining Murphy and his bar for the insult.
Patrick barely caught his dad before he lunged toward the enemy. Patrick placed a hand on his chest. “Don’t, Dad. He’s trying to get under your skin. Rowan considers him a friend. Don’t do something you’ll regret.” His dad didn’t move. He didn’t acknowledge Patrick’s words either, but he was still. For now.
