“It’s Utahn. I haven’t heard from him in a while.”
Ret shrugged. “Maybe he’s busy.”
I shook my head. “Maybe, but I think there’s more to it. He was texting or chatting with me every day. No matter what. Then I got only brief messages every now and again. Now, nothing. How did I fuck this up?”
After releasing a heavy breath, my brother shifted his stance. “This is why I don’t do relationships. I have no fucking clue how they work. One-night stands are much easier.”
I rolled my eyes. He wasn’t helping at all.
Ret slapped the top of the doorframe. “Talk to Vawn. He knows Utahn better than anyone. He’ll tell you exactly how you fucked things up.”
Yeah, and that made me feel better. But he was right. If anyone would know what was up with Utahn, it would be his best friend. “Fine. I’ll do that later.”
“Do it now.” Ret moved away from the door. “Take the rest of the day off to figure things out, and come back tomorrow more focused.”
I nodded and unbuckled my harness. “Okay. Thank you.” Hopefully my younger brother would have an answer for me. If not, I could learn how to meditate to regain my focus. Maybe.
Grabbing my comm unit on my way out of ORIXA’s practice room, I checked for any new messages. Still nothing. I brought up Vawn’s code and sent him a quick message.
Hey. Haven’t heard from Utahn in a few days. Is he okay? And how are you?
Instead of taking the hovercart to the dorm, I walked, recalling every conversation with and message from Utahn since we’d slept together. It wasn’t the first time I’d gone through this process. And like before, I couldn’t recall anything I might have said to make him end all communication. Was there something I was missing?
As I walked down the third-floor hall toward my dorm, my comm unit buzzed. I quickly checked, hoping Utahn had finally returned my calls and messages and that I had overthought everything. Instead, it was from Vawn.
I haven’t heard from him in a couple of days, either. Just finished up designs for an upcoming show. I’ll stop in later today and get back to you after.
Thank you.
Until then, I’d have to concentrate on regaining my focus, push all of my worries and insecurities aside so I could return to my team. We had a race to prepare for. We were expected to win, and I couldn’t be the reason we didn’t.
Chapter Eight
Utahn
I wiped my mouth with a clean cloth but still managed to get rolef all over my face. It was the third time I’d had to run to the bathroom since I had closed the bakery for the day. I wanted to lie down on the floor and disappear into it. Though the likelihood of that happening was zilch. And it wouldn’t help me finish all the prep I had to do for tomorrow. It seemed like I had no time to relax since Gugait left to be with his mate and start a family, followed by Toufan quitting a week later. And now, I had another issue to deal with.
But I could handle it. I stood up straight and wiped my hands on my apron. This was my dream. I would make it work. All of it. I had to.
My stomach twisted again, and I rushed to the bathroom. Stars, why hadn’t I let Genj use mesodenka? Now I was in the same situation I was in when with Werd. My suppressants had failed, and I’d gone into a mild heat. Still enough of one to get pregnant. But I’d learned one lesson the first time. I refused to tell Genj, or anyone, I was expecting until I knew this baby would survive.
After another round of vomiting, I pushed off the floor and cleaned myself up. I had work to do. I didn’t get far before my head spun. I gripped the doorjamb to keep myself standing and closed my eyes while waiting for this wave to pass.
“Hey, Ut! Are you still working?”
I took a deep breath at the sound of my best friend’s voice. I couldn’t let him see me like this. “Yep. Just finishing up.”
Vawn came barreling around the corner but stopped immediately when he saw me leaning against the wall. “What’s wrong? What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” I pushed off the wall and hoped I could remain standing. “It’s been a long day. That’s all.”
He darted in front of me and brushed something off my cheek. Likely some rolef I’d missed. “I don’t believe you. You’re pale and sweating. Are you sick?”
“No.” I shook my head. I couldn’t tell him the truth. Not yet. “Exhausted. I want to go up to bed, but I have to finish prepping for tomorrow.”
Vawn narrowed his eyes while holding my arms. “Where’s Toufan? I thought he helped with this.”
I glanced down so he wouldn’t see me wince when my stomach twisted once again. “He quit last week.” Unable to say more, I turned from his grasp to make another dash to the bathroom but failed to get there in time. I grabbed the closest bowl instead.
