I shook my head, though I wished I could say we were committed in that way. “I think he was tempted to, with the way he was licking my neck, but he never did. We both live very independent lives. It would be hard to fully commit.”
Vawn crossed his arms and glared at me. “Are those your words or his?”
I gulped. It’s what I’d been telling myself since I left him on Eurebly. “Well, he never really said anything like that, but I know how racers are.” I’d left without asking for any type of commitment because I thought that would be unfair to him.
Vawn rolled his eyes and sighed. “And you know how Genj is. When he commits to something, it’s 100 percent. Why didn’t you ask him?”
A lump formed in my throat. “I was afraid he’d say no. Or that he’d say yes and then regret it.” As past relationships had revealed.
Vawn moved closer and wrapped an arm around me while cupping my face with his other hand. “He has adored you forever. He would never say no to you or regret it. You are his dream mate.”
I heaved a big sigh. “We’ll see if he still thinks that now that we’ve been together. Maybe I didn’t meet his expectations.”
Vawn slapped my thigh. “I liked it better when you were telling me how big his cock was. Why are you doubting yourself?”
I gave him a pouty smile. “I don’t know. We did text each other quite a bit after I got home, but then he had to get to practice.”
My best friend nudged me. “See. That should be a sign right there.”
I shrugged, still not fully convinced. How committed could we be when planets apart? “I guess we’ll see after the next race.”
Vawn stood and crossed his arms. “It really ticks me off that you’re doubting yourself and Genj this much. I get it after what happened with Werd, but that wasn’t your fault. And my brother is definitely not him. Genj would never treat you like that.”
My gut twisted. “I know.” Really, I did, but my ex had hurt me bad. It was hard to fully trust again. No matter how much I wanted Genj to be my forever mate.
Vawn rubbed my back before heading to the door. “I’ve got to get home, but give it time. I know you’re going to be great together.”
I nodded, hoping he was right. I’d had confidence when I was with Genj, but with no idea when I’d see him again, it had faded away. Only time would tell whether we were meant to be.
Chapter Seven
Genj
“Genj, you’re going to crash into Ilam! Bank left!”
I snapped to attention at my brother’s command, flying away from the youngest member of our team, nearly clipping the tail of his jet. It was a close call. Too close. I needed to focus.
“That’s it. Let’s take a break.”
Over the comm system, I heard the frustration in my brother’s voice. And he had every right to feel that way with me. I was supposed to be in sync with him. With the rest of our team. Instead, I was lost in my thoughts, trying to figure out how I’d fucked up my relationship with Utahn already.
Ret yanked open the door to the simulator and glared at me. “You may be my brother, but if you don’t get your head in the game, I’m going to see to it you’re kicked off the team.”
I nodded. “I get it.”
He pointed behind him to another simulator. “If we had been in our jets, you could have killed Ilam and yourself.”
“I know.” I’d seen what happened when racers got distracted, witnessed the aftermath.
“I don’t think you do.” He leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms. “This is the fifth day in a row I’ve caught you off in la-la land during training. We should be practicing this in our jets by now, but we’re still here because of you.”
I sucked in a deep breath and exhaled. Life sucked. Love sucked. But I was a racer first. That’s what I needed to focus on. No matter what.
Ret rested a hand on my shoulder. “Look. I don’t mean to come down hard on you, but I don’t want any of my team members to die. Including you.” He kicked the foot plate under the simulator. “Stars, Genj, what’s got you distracted anyway?”
My older brother asking me what was on my mind seemed strange. He’d never really cared before, only gotten involved in helping Utahn and I get together because he wanted me to shut up about him. Though I didn’t remember talking about him much. Only thinking about him. Like I was now. “You sure you want to know?”
He swatted my head. “I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t. Now, tell me.”
