“So … what’s the plan for the evening?” I ask as the guys pull out and put on their own room slippers. This is their weekend and their competition, so if they want to go out, I’ll rally for them.
But I really hope they don’t want to go out. I’m exhausted. That was a nice little nap in the car, but I need some real sleep.
“We usually get an early night’s sleep before a competition. Registration starts early,” says Lukas.
“Did you, uh, did you want to go out instead?” asks Felix, ruffling up the back of his hair in discomfort.
“No, no, an early night sounds great.” I shake my head emphatically, sagging with relief. I don’t know that I could have pulled myself together enough to go out without a coffee.
“We’re done in the bathroom, if you’d like to use it,” says Elliot, after the guys have rotated through, changing into pajamas and brushing their teeth.
If we’re staying in, I’m going to get comfy too. I grab my sleep clothes and toiletry bag and slip into the bathroom. It’s going to be interesting to be in such close quarters for this weekend. At least at their house we have a little more privacy.
Before I go back into the room, I eye my reflection. It’s obvious I’ll be sleeping in one of the beds with two of the guys, which is going to be pretty tight, even in a queen bed. My hair tends to get a little wild when I sleep, and I’d hate for one of them to wake up with a faceful of it. I dig into my toiletry bag fora hair tie and braid my hair back off my face. At least this will help keep it from attacking my bedmates while we sleep.
Chapter Fifteen
When I walk out into the room, the overhead lights are off, but the light from the TV gives off enough glow for me to pack my clothes back into my suitcase. Then I just stand there in my jammies and new pink slippers, looking from one bed to the other, where the guys are snuggled under the blankets already.
“We thought we’d see if there is anything good on TV, but if you’d rather just go to sleep, we can turn it off,” offers Lukas.
“No, that sounds good.” I’m tired, but also hyper-aware of them being in the same room as me, almost certainly with plans for … things … after being apart for a whole week. And I can’t get Ronnie’s stupid words out of my mind, that if I can’t talk about something, then I shouldn’t be doing that thing. It’s probably even more true if I can’t talk to the guys I’ll be doing the thing with about it. I know we’ll have to talk about it eventually, but there’s no reason why I can’t start small, with a sleeping arrangements conversation, and work up to the big discussion. “Um, so, can we talk about what this is going to look like?”
“Sure,” says Sebastian, muting the television.
Now that it’s happening, I’m even more anxious than I was a moment ago. Standing there in front of them like this feels very much like being onstage in front of an audience, so I move overto sit in the desk chair. At least this way there’s the semblance of more space between us, and I don’t feel quite so put on the spot. As I settle into the chair, they all sit up and the blankets drop.
All their chests are bare.
My gaze drops to their laps. Are they wearing underwear still, or sleep pants, or are they completely naked?
Okay, maybe we shouldn’t start with the sleeping arrangements. Maybe something even more innocuous.
“I’d rather not everyone here know that I’m a reporter.” I link my hands in my lap to give myself the most professional look I can in my pajamas.
If the competitors learn I’m writing an article about speedcubing, they might be awkward around me. Besides, after last time, I don’t want to get people’s hopes up that the article will actually be published when as of right now it’s only for a class assignment.
“Not a problem,” says Felix. “We can introduce you as our girl?—”
“As our friend,” says Lukas, cutting him off. “As our friend who is a girl.”
I narrow my eyes at the two of them, trying to assess their faces for any lie. Especially with all the grief Ronnie’s given me all week about our little agreement, it’s important that they still understand that I’m not their girlfriend. I’m hoping Felix just misspoke, and wasn’t slipping up in a “we’ll let her think we aren’t dating but really we all agree that she’s our girlfriend” kind of way.
“Are you going to interview the other competitors for your article?” asks Elliot, looking down and adjusting the blankets around his waist.
“No,” I say. I think I see Elliot’s shoulders relax a little against the headboard, but maybe I’m seeing things. “But I would like to talk to some other competitors, just so I have abetter and more varied understanding of what the sport means to different people. And how they came to the sport. Things like that.”
“We can introduce you to a couple of people,” offers Felix, pushing his glasses a little farther up the bridge of his nose.
“That will make it easier for you to talk to them,” agrees Lukas, nodding.
“Thank you.” That is a relief because if they didn’t offer, I would have had to ask. I’m great at interviewing people when they know they’re being interviewed, but having casual conversations with strangers is harder.
“Some of them are a little awkward,” warns Sebastian.
I start to say something about how awkward all the people at the other competition were, but stop myself. Because really, who is normal? We’re all a little awkward in our own ways. “That’s okay. That’s part of why I’m not going to do actual interviews. That would probably make a lot of them even more uncomfortable.”
They all nod, then look at me expectantly. I don’t say anything, my stomach beginning to knot itself up again because I have to be a big girl and ask about sleeping arrangements and the list, but I don’t want to have to do it. I want to have already done it and be past it.
