Alex could understand her logic, the discomfort of not belonging in the role set out for you. “And how am I supposed to help you?”
“Help me prepare for the entrance exams. They are to be held at the end of the month, and I have no idea what to expect. If my scores are high enough, they will have to accept me, no matter my gender.”
He scoffed again. “Clearly you don’t understand Oxford.”
She glared. “Then help me understand. Talk to the right people, anything, just help me try. You’re the only person who has even listenedto my dreams without laughing and telling me to forget about them.”
“And what if I can’t help you? I don’t have magical powers, I’m a student. What if you still don’t get in?”
She squared her slim shoulders as she met his gaze. “Then I am in the exact same position I am in now. No harm will be done.”
Alex began to reply but stopped. How terrible could it be? She would quickly discover she’s not academically up to snuff and abandon this wild idea about Oxford. And in the meantime, he could court Rose properly, perhaps rediscover the magic that they shared. A little time working with her would hardly impact his own studies.
“Fine, I’ll help you.” He flinched as she screamed and threw her arms around him, then jumped back and straightened her evergreen jacket.
She cleared her throat and extended her hand to shake his. As he took it, a spark rushed through him, a connection shimmering in his veins for a moment, immediately bringing to mind the moment he first touched Rose. He looked up at Fern, her hair flying wildly from its bun, her eyes wide and chin lifted high. He swallowed to regain his composure, releasing her hand as though burned.
“We start tomorrow, then?” she asked, bouncing on her toes.
Good god, Alex thought as he gave her a tepid smile.What have I gotten myself into?
Chapter 10
“Wherewereyou?I’vebeen waiting for you!”
Rose burst in the moment Fern set foot in her bedroom upon returning from town, her mind racing after her impulsive decision. Diverting Alex’s attention to Rose meant she would give up the chance for any relationship with Alex. To feel his hands on her skin, his lips on hers… While her stomach clenched at the loss, she had to be practical. Fern was not the marriageable lady in the family, that position fell to Rose. In four weeks she could sit for the entrance exams. If she could help Alex in his courtship for a short time, he would be beholden to Fern and help her study. And if Alex and Rose did ultimately fall in love…
Nausea washed over her, and she took deep breaths to let it pass. This was the right choice, the most logical decision. The only solution leaving all three parties involved satisfied, even happy. A romantic connection could be fleeting, but her academic career would bring satisfaction for a lifetime.
“I went into town for a new book and some chocolate,” Fern replied as she moved to her dressing table, pushing loose papers and notebooks out of the way to make space for her newest acquisition, a novel she had grabbed from the shelf without even reading the title, her mind scrambling to make sense of her new arrangement with Alex.
Rose flopped down on Fern’s bed, sprawling over the counterpane. “Mama allowed it?”
Fern’s nose twitched. “I told her I was getting new gloves, the old ones itched. Violet is still out of sorts, so Mama was happy to be rid of me.” She moved to sit down on her bed and peeled off her boots and stockings, then laid on her back next to her sister, staring at the plaster ceiling.
“I’ll give you a pair of mine to show her,” Rose replied. “Mama won’t remember I bought them last spring.” She propped up on her elbow and looked down at her sister with narrowed eyes. “What were you really doing in town?”
Wincing, Fern squeezed her eyes shut for a moment before replying. “I happened to see Mr. Carroway while I was there.”
Rose groaned and rolled on her stomach, tucking herself against Fern. “I was dreadful with him, I’m so sorry.”
Despite feeling her heart pound in her chest, Fern shrugged. “I wanted to see him again, to see if what happened last night was real. And it wasn’t.” The lie made her stomach turn. Perhaps if she repeated it enough, it would become true.
Rose pushed up on both hands. “What do you mean?”
“Exactly that. What happened between us at the ball was the magic of the evening, nothing more.” Fern held her sister’s gaze, admiring the pure green of her eyes. She had never envied Rose for her beauty, only for her ability to be so easily loved. “He was in love with the idea ofyou, Rose. The darling of the family. I would never be enough for him.”
“But the way you spoke of him,” Rose insisted. “You’ve never been like that before.”
Fern twisted the fabric of her skirts tightly in her fingers. “I have no interest in being courted, and he would certainly not want to pursue me once he got to know me better,” she said, proud of herself for keeping her tone light. “But he’s a nice man, Rose. He would be exactly what you said you were looking for, someone who would work hard, respect you, and treasure you. You should speak with him, get to know him a bit.”
“Will you tell him the truth then?” Rose asked. “That it was you at the ball, not me?”
Fern hated being deceptive. Being frank was simply more efficient, even if she offended some sensibilities along the way. “I would like to be his friend, Rose. Nothing more, but he won’t allow it if he knows what I did.”
“You’re not giving yourself enough credit. He liked you, not—”
“He’s not for me, Rose,” Fern snapped, more forcefully than she had intended. After a calming breath, she continued. “I do not have feelings for him, truly I don’t. You trust me, don’t you?”
