“Learn?” he croaked.
“Yes,“ she replied, exasperated. Why did he have to make this so bloody difficult? “I do not know if the act of lovemaking is something I could enjoy. I can’t imagine finding a willing partner for me would be an easy prospect without your assistance.”
Henry wrenched off his shirt and tossed it aside. Ellie’s breath caught at the sight of him, muscled and damp and…
“Why do you need a lover?” His words were strained, like each syllable was stretched over his vocal chords and close to snapping.
“Things with Ashby were… unpleasant. He cheated me from an experience every married woman should have.”
“Ashby was an arse and a fool,” Henry said, his voice tight. “He wasted you.”
Affection swelled in Ellie’s chest, fortifying her. “I can’t trust anyone but you with this,” she insisted, stepping closer. “Surely you must know some gentlemen who would be discreet and…” She bit her lower lip and averted her eyes. “My understanding is people enjoy the act, but I never seemed to. Is there someone who would be kind, patient—”
“I’m not letting any of those idiots in town come near you, Ellie,” he growled.
Her heart fell. “So you won’t help me?” When he didn’t respond, didn’t even move, she dropped her gaze. “I understand, it was ridic—”
“I’ll do it,” he said through clenched teeth.
A giddy thrill rushed over her. “You’ll help me find someone?”
“No.” Henry released the tension in his jaw and ran his hand roughly through his hair. “I’ll help you, but…” He huffed out a breath. “Men are, well, utter prigs, and I should know. I wouldn’t want you to get hurt.”
Ellie tossed up her hands. “Then how am I supposed to find what I enjoy if no one shows me?”
“I’ll show you.”
The words hung between them like a tangible thing, as though she could reach out and pluck them from the air. “You’ll… show me?”
Henry swallowed, and when his eyes met hers, they were dark, heated. “If you want to know what you would enjoy, I can show you.” He looked away, as though he couldn’t stand to look at her any longer.
Panic clutched at her throat. “You don’t have to do this yourself. I am aware I’m not the type of woman you typically—”
“Stop,” Henry interrupted, stepping closer to her, his gaze traveling over her features before settling on her mouth. “You shouldn’t diminish your worth like that.”
After a long moment, he turned away, pacing into the washroom and partially closing the door behind him. She heard damp fabric hitting the floor and heat bloomed in her belly.
“This is risky,” he called through the door. “Once we cross this line, it’s easy for things to become… complicated.”
“They won’t have to.” She stepped toward the door, then retreated, unsure where to stand as her heart threatened to burst from her chest. “Anything we do will stop the moment we return to London. We’ll remain friends, just like before.”
He stepped out wearing nothing but a length of linen towel around his waist. “I don’t know if it’ll be that easy.”
She froze, tracking his movements as he crossed to his armoire and withdrew dry clothing.
Ellie shook her head.Focus. “Is this because of Miss Brightling? I would understand if you felt like you were being unfaithful—”
He raised a hand to stop her, then crossed back into the ensuite and closed the door. “No, it’s—what happens between us won’t impact her.”
Her. He was never willing to even say her name. Did he know how much it hurt Ellie to hear mention of his fiancee? Was he trying to save her feelings?
“It is in my best interest for everything to remain discreet,” Ellie said. “I would never put your betrothal in danger.”
A long minute of silence passed before he exited the washroom wearing trousers, a fresh shirt, and a dark expression. “It’s not so simple.” He sighed. “You are incredibly important to me, El, and I don’t want that to change.”
You have no idea how important you are to me.“There is no need to worry, Henry. My heart is already guarded enough. I can protect myself.” Henry turned to stare at her, his eyes warm. “Are you certain? Is this really what you want?”
“Yes,” she said, fighting the urge to wave her arms about and runscreaming from the room, pretending this was all a grand joke.
