Henry’s eyes widened and Ellie felt a perverse sense of humor at his surprise and disappointment. Did he really think there would be no consequences to this? “I-I had hoped—”
“Our affair was temporary. We are—were—merely friends, after all.”
He closed his eyes for a moment, as though recovering from the blow of her words. “Were? We’re not any longer?”
It hurt to swallow, her entire chest tight. “It’s unwise for me to associate with you any longer. If I manage to escape this unscathed, your reputation will do me no favors.”
His shoulders slumped even as he nodded stiffly in agreement. “I understand.”
She laughed, an awkward, choking sound that made him jump. “You should be pleased. This is good for you. You have your life back now, Henry. There’s no need to take pity on me anymore.”
“That’s not what this is.” The break in his voice was the first indication he was affected by their argument, the entire mess he had created that she stepped into with both feet.
“It’s fine.” Ellie waved her hand and walked past him. “I need to—I need—I don’t know, honestly, but I need to not be here.”
“I’ll go.” He picked up his coat and hat as he stepped toward the door. “But will you be well alone? I don’t want you to—”
“I’m fine,” she repeated, raising her chin.
Their eyes met for a long moment, and Ellie mourned the future they could have shared, the friendship she sacrificed to chase an impossible dream.
Henry opened his mouth as though he intended to speak, then thought better of it, nodding once before stepping out the door and closing it behind him.
Chapter 27
TheCelticSeawaseerily calm, glassy and smooth as a mirror as it stretched out before the ship, a clear path into Cardiff Harbor. Ellie watched the approaching spires with a dull stare, her breathing and heart rate deceptively placid.
Henry had not returned to their room the previous night; she never decided if she wanted to see him or avoid him at all costs. Ellie owed him an apology. He had never misled her about their future, and he had taken pains to protect her reputation. He owed more to Claire Brightling than he did to Ellie, and he would take care of his fiancée before his friend. For once, Henry had done the logical thing. Even if the logic hurt.
“Ellie.”
Her name on his lips sounded like a rasp, a gravelly moan escaping with only enough air to cover the short distance between them. Ellie turned, and despite her resolve, her traitorous heart leapt at the sight of him.
What a sight he was. Henry’s dark hair stuck out at all angles, his handsome face drawn and pale, deep circles shadowing his red-rimmed eyes. Her lips parted, the urge to reach out and hold him so strong she had to grip her fists in her skirts to resist it.
“Wh-where did you sleep last night?” she asked, her voice trembling.
He glanced towards the benches lining the edge of the deck, then back to her. “I feel terrible, El. I’m afraid I misled you from the start, when I never meant to hurt you.” He swallowed and rubbed the bridge of his nose before meeting her gaze.
The time had come to end his misery. “I’m not angry with you. I only wish you had let me in on your plan.”
Henry blinked, a smile creeping at the edges of his lips. “Would you have gone along with it if you had known?”
Would she have still traveled with him if she had known their affair was all an act, a game to break off his engagement? Would she have taken him into her bed, experienced passion like she never thought possible, if she had known he had done it all to protect another woman? “I don’t think I would have, no.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t deserve your apology,” Ellie rasped. “It was wrong to ask so much of you. I was foolish, and I put you in a terrible position.”
Stepping forward, Henry extended his hands towards her. “I regret not telling you earlier. It was wretched of me. But I don’t regret a second of what happened between us in Rome. I never will.”
“But you should.” Ellie’s throat tightened, and the calm she had possessed nearly fled entirely. “I was wrong to think we could carry on like before in London, Henry.”
He shook his head, his throat working. Her heart clenched, knowing the depth and intensity of his pain. But it would be easier this way, a quick ending to what they shared in Rome, their only souvenir the heartache consuming her.
“I gave my heart to you, and that was a mistake.” His lips parted at her confession as he pulled a deep breath into his lungs. She knew what would come next, a pitying look, a few placating words. She had seen enough of those looks during her marriage and heard enough platitudes after Ashby’s death. Ellie didn’t want his pity, couldn’t stomach his misplaced sympathy. “We need to end it now, for good.” She bit her lip, a single tear escaping and catching on her lashes. She sucked in a shuddering breath. “It’s over between us.”
“Like hell it is.” Henry’s eyes blazed with the words. “You can’t expect me to step aside and pretend nothing happened between us.”
