He sat up straight and eyed her warily. “I thought you should—”
“I understand,” she said, resisting the urge to reach out and hug him, reassure him. When Timothy had shared his preference forbed partners several years before, in a similarly awkward and stilted manner, she’d balked.
Society had taught her that loving a person of your own gender was an anomaly, a sin or perversion. But she couldn’t reconcile that way of thinking with the friend she had known for so long, the man who had helped her through some of the most difficult times in her life. She could never share Timothy’s secret without his consent, but she could do her best to be supportive of someone facing similar challenges.
“I won’t say anything to anyone, I swear it.”
James visibly relaxed with her words, rubbing his hand over his face. “I don’t know why I told you that.”
“You didn’t really tell me anything.” She gave him a thin smile, and he returned it with a dazzling one.
“I’ll do anything to stop a woman from crying.”
She laughed aloud at that, then snuggled deeper in the warmth of his jacket. Distantly, she wondered if they were being watched from the ballroom, if the guests were speculating about them, rumors dancing around the room like soap bubbles.
“I’m going to be engaged when this party is over.” The words burned as they left her tongue.
“Judging by your tears, this isn’t something you’re looking forward to.”
She scoffed and wished for another glass of champagne. “Not at all. He’s friendly with my father, and I thought he’d be tolerable, but then—” The tightness in her throat cut off her words, and she struggled to swallow around it. “I was mistaken. But there’sno escape from it when no one else will have me because of my reputation.”
“It’s terribly unfair, isn’t it?” He turned to face her as he spoke. “Anyone’s character can be torn asunder with one baseless rumor.”
Her laugh escaped as a snort. “You say that as a man. I made one mistake, trusted the wrong man one time, and now my life is—” she spread her hands out wide to indicate the two of them, “—this.”
“I don’t like being referred to as athis, but your point is accurate. Gossip makes people pay attention, and if someone pays attention to me, I could be caught. The stakes are so high it’s terrifying.”
Violet’s stomach twisted. While suffering at the hands of theton’s gossips was far from pleasant, if James were to be found with another man, he could face imprisonment or hard labor.
“Despite convincing most of Edinburgh that I am—” James paused, looked thoughtful, “—oh, that’s right,the biggest rake in Scotland, enough rumors persist about my preferences that I sometimes wish I would be caught in a compromising position. But short of hiring a doxie and an audience, how could I do that without ruining the woman involved?”
She hummed in agreement, wondering how one would take out such an advertisement in the newspaper. “My great aunt was ruined. Spotted in a garden with a man, and then she refused the man’s offer of marriage.”
His brow quirked. “Is she the one with the peacock feathers in her hat? Always drinking sherry?”
“That’s the one.”
“I’m fairly certain she and a footman absconded into the linen closet hours ago.”
Violet laughed. “Bully for her. She loves being ruined. That may be the best life a woman can lead, actually.” She mirrored James’s position, leaning back on her elbows and staring at the patches of stars visible through the clouds. “A ruined woman can make her own choices, even find love that’s honest, not a society arrangement.”
He raised his now-empty glass in a mock toast. “To ruination! The solution to all that ails a society woman!”
Her laugh died in her chest as wisps of thoughts and ideas clarified into a blinding revelation. She sat up, turning to face him. “What if we were to be caught together, but intentionally?”
His dark brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”
Her mind was racing, disparate images dancing and tumbling over each other until they clicked into place. “If someone happened upon us being intimate—pretendingto be intimate,” she clarified when he pulled in a breath to interrupt, “everyone at the party would know about it. What would happen then?”
“I’d have to ask for your hand in marriage.”
“Of course. You’d be a lout if you didn’t.” She was grinning now. No one could say she wasn’t as clever as her sisters.
He flattened his lips. “While you seem like a lovely girl, I still don’t want to marry you.”
“That’s the brilliant part.” She leaned forward, her next words delivered in an exhilarated rush. “I’ll refuse you. You’d be known as a rake, but a responsible one.”
His eyes lit up. “Your suitor wouldn’t propose. You’d have to leave society.” He huffed out a breath. “Christ, that’s—”
