And it was his responsibility to destroy it.
“Don’t ask me to forgive you, Philip.” Her voice was low but resolute.
He lifted his chin, a determined gesture he’d learned from her. “I won’t ask for your forgiveness until I’ve earned it.”
Chapter 5
“Whatdoyoumean,there are no other beds?”
Lily tugged her night robe more tightly around her chest then gestured roughly through the open door of her bedroom to where Philip’s carpetbag sat next to the armoire—herarmoire, full ofherclothing.
Her mother cocked her head to the side. “I don’t see what the problem is.” Her eyes brightened. “Gracious, there’s no room at the inn!”
“Perhaps he should sleep in the stable,” Lily muttered, but the unflappable Lady Redbourne did not acknowledge the remark.
How could she explain to her mother that sharing a room with her husband would be insurmountable torture? As much as it pained her to admit it, her body and soul reacted to his presence in the stable, her nerve endings alighting at his touch while her heart ached to embrace him, to wipe away all the lies and secrets and pain that held them apart for so long.
She didn’t want him back. All she needed to do was convince herself of it.
“He snores,” Lily said. “Loudly. And passes wind.” Her mother recoiled slightly. “And I kick in my sleep.” She let out a strained laugh that sounded hollow to her own ears. “Neither of us will rest if we share a bed.”
Lady Redbourne sighed and rubbed her fingertips in tight circles on her temples. “All the available guest rooms are taken. We didn’t prepare the rooms on the third floor, and there’s no time now. Salisbury is already at his wit’s end with a full house and a reduced staff.”
A pang of guilt for causing her mother trouble gave Lily pause, but after their confrontation in the stable, how could she be expected to share a room—not merely a room, but abed?
She forced a congenial expression onto her face. “Why don’t we move to the blue rooms?” The adjoining bedrooms would be perfect; they could maintain the illusion of intimacy without actually having to share a space.
Her mother shook her head. “Timothy and James will be in the blue rooms. There simply isn’t another option.”
Timothy and James would be sharing a bed as well, though she couldn’t tell her mother that. “Mama, I know this seems strange, but—”
“Strange doesn’t begin to explain your behavior at the door or at dinner,” her mother interrupted firmly. “I won’t pry into what’s been going on between you and Philip when you told me everything was well. But you won’t make anything easier by sleepingapart. A little intimacy will…” She directed her gaze towards the ceiling as though the words were etched into the plaster above their heads, “ease the reconciliation.”
Lily hoped she had masked her surprise but doubted she’d been fast enough. If her mother knew how estranged Lily had been from Philip, she was choosing her ignorance strategically, and at times best designed to torture her eldest daughter. “But Mama—”
“Oh, look who’s here!” Her mother grinned towards the staircase where Philip had appeared, his dark brows furrowed.
Tension lined his features as he ascended the final few stairs, but he released it almost immediately, donning the casual air of a gentleman who hadn’t just argued with his estranged wife over a wheelbarrow of horse shite. “Thank you for accommodating me, my lady. I’m looking forward to a good night’s rest.”
Lily balled her hands into fists, her fingernails digging half-circles into her palms.
Lady Redbourne patted him on the cheek as if he were a schoolboy. “It’s never trouble to have you here, and you must remember that. Come now, to bed with you both.” She shooed him into the bedroom like one would a wayward chicken before turning her attention to Lily, still standing wide-eyed in the hall.
“Mama—”
She lifted a single finger, halting Lily’s protest on her tongue. “It’s time for bed, Lily. Whatever needs to happen between you and your husband can take place behind those doors.”
With one last pointed look, Lady Redbourne set off down the hallway towards her own bedchamber.
As much as she longed to rage at the injustice of having to share a bed with her spouse, she swallowed her anger.Three days,then Christmas will be over and he will be gone.
Her life would return to normal. Lonely, but normal.
I don’t have to be lonely.
She flapped her hands at her sides to shake off the traitorous thought and stormed into her bedchamber, barely restraining the urge to slam the door behind her.
Philip stood with his back to her, calmly hanging his clothing inherarmoire. “I hope my excessive flatulence won’t bother you tonight.”
