“Chase and I used to date,” I start, but shake my head.“Not just date—we were in love.We’d planned a whole life together.We were going to take our band to Nashville and make it big.”I take a breath and Kelly leans forward.“My little sister, Harper, started playing with us too.She was so talented and beautiful.Then one day, we were coming back from a music festival.I was driving, and I got distracted.It was dark, and the road was winding, and I lost control of the car and crashed.”I can’t hold back the sob that escapes.“Harper was killed.”
“Oh, my god.”Kelly moves closer and hugs me, her support and warmth cracking into my hard shell.
“My parents blamed me for the crash and kicked me out.I couldn’t stay in town after that.It was too much.”My voice breaks as I tell her my story.Tears wind down my cheeks, and I remember the pain and anguish on my mother’s face when she found out her baby girl had died.Her sweet, innocent daughter.And it was her older daughter’s fault.
“I ran away.I didn’t even tell Chase I was going because I knew he would try to stop me.”I wipe at my eyes.“I knew looking at him would remind me of her, and if I stayed in touch with him, I would never have been able to move on with my life.”So I built this half-life instead.Numbing myself from the pain with alcohol, drugs and sex.
“That’s why I never wanted to come back here.Seeing this town, Chase.It’s all too much.Then I saw my mother, and she still hates me and blames me.She will never get over that.”
“I’m so sorry, Bayleigh.That is a horrible thing to have to go through.But it was an accident—it wasn’t your fault.”
I hear her words but don’t bother to tell her that I don’t believe her.That I could never forgive myself.I have spent eighteen years living with the guilt and remorse and nothing has ever been able to soothe it.
“Chase found me at the park last night.He saw me and tried to help me, but I pushed him away again.I don’t deserve to be loved.I deserve to be punished.”
Kelly wipes my tear-stained cheek and looks at me.“You have been in enough support groups and enough therapists’ offices to know you need to take it one day at a time.Of course you were triggered by seeing your mother.You slipped up and made a mistake.But this isn’t the end.You’ve gotten sober before; you can do it again.Harper would hate seeing you like this.”
I nod and try to refocus.The concert is coming up, and this is still my last chance to redeem myself.Harper would want me to perform.She would want me to live.
“I can fix this,” I swear to Kelly.“I can put my life back together.”
“I know you can.”Kelly smiles at me.
I will do it for Harper.
CHAPTERTWENTY-FIVE
Chase
As I makemy way towards the hotel entrance, I spot Frankie waving at me from across the street.I wave back and wait for him to catch up as he jogs towards me.I received a message this morning that we will be starting rehearsals after lunch today.Though the text didn’t say it explicitly, I have a feeling it’s because of what happened yesterday with Bayleigh.She’s probably nursing a massive hangover right now.Once again, I consider quitting.But I made a commitment, and I’ll stick to it.There’s also a chance that her show won’t go on now that Bayleigh has had a relapse.I feel terrible; maybe I made the situation worse than it already was.That girl still has a hold on me and drives me insane.
“Hey, I thought I might come watch rehearsal,” Frankie says as he catches up to me.
“Did the boss say that was okay?”I ask with a frown.Bayleigh doesn’t seem to have any strict rules, but at the same time, I haven’t seen anyone but the crew show up before.
“Kelly said it would be okay,” he says, and we turn to head inside.
“So, how is it going with the assistant?”
“It’s good.I mean, we’re keeping it casual, obviously, but that chick is incredible in bed.She’s lined up a meeting for me with Bayleigh’s manager ...”
I half listen as Frankie talks.I’m excited for him, but my mind is still full of what went down with Bayleigh yesterday.Just when I thought we had begun something new, she went and did something stupid, like drink.Maybe she has been doing it all the time and I have just been too blind to notice.Maybe she’s been lying this whole time.She isn’t the same girl I used to know.
We enter the ballroom, and I lead Frankie to where the instruments are set up.I wave a hello to Cassie and the other band members and introduce them to Frankie.
“We hear you’re a bit of a rising star,” Andy says, and Frankie grins proudly.
“That’s the plan,” he replies.
Cassie hands him a mic.“Show us then.We’re a pretty good judge of talent.”
Frankie chuckles and throws me a glance.I nod encouragingly and he takes the mic.Frankie is a natural-born performer, and he’s always ready to give it his all.He starts singing his favorite cover of a popular country song and before he gets too far in, the rest of the band joins in.I pull on my guitar and strum along, too.
I know our band sounds good when we play at Monty’s, and I can’t tell if it’s these top of the line instruments or the talent playing them, but this song sounds the best it ever has.I can tell from the look on Frankie’s face that he’s thinking the same thing.
I’m so carried away in the music that I almost miss the side door opening.But, like a sixth sense, I know the second Bayleigh lays eyes on me.
She looks tired.Like, truly exhausted, down to the bone.It must have been a rough night.
