Mom pauses and looks at me.“It’s so horrible what happened to that family,” she says.“I always liked Bayleigh, and it was such a tragic accident.”
“Apparently she left because her mom told her to,” I explain.“Her parents kicked her out because she’d been driving.”
My mom sighs.“I knew there must have been a reason she left so suddenly.Especially without telling you.”
I put down my fork and lean on my elbows.“If she had come to me first, we could have taken her in, or I could have gone with her.I guess that’s the worst part.She just left.Ran away from her problems.”
“And it seems like that’s what she’s done ever since.Numbed herself with drugs and alcohol and whatever else she can find.Poor girl.That accident really turned her life upside down.”
“I don’t know how to help her.I don’t know if anyone can.”I sigh.I want to help her.I want that sweet, carefree girl back, but it seems that she is really gone for good and this new Bayleigh is just a shell of the person she used to be.
“She still wears my necklace, you know.That one I whittled for her.”I smile at the memory of finding it hanging safely around her neck.
My mom’s eyes widen to the size of saucepans.“The little songbird one?I remember how nervous you were to give her that.”
“I was scared she wouldn’t like it.But she had me put it on her and she swore she would never take it off.I’m kinda surprised it lasted this long,” I admit.
“It’s like your love for each other.It survives against all odds.”She rests her hand on my arm and squeezes.“Life was never meant to be easy.”
I look at my mom’s weather-beaten face.She looks older than her sixty years.Farm life is not easy for anyone and my parents have struggled through the bad times like everyone else.Droughts, fire, even tornedos have been challenges that my parents have overcome.Plus the personal struggles.Mom endured three miscarriages, and a stillborn before finally bringing a baby to full term, only to have it die of infant death syndrome two weeks later.The fact that I had come when they had given up all hope seemed a miracle, and they have taught me to appreciate every day and have faith in God and his plans.I’m not the avid church-goer that my mom is.I have my own disagreements with Him and his so-called plans.But I respect my mother’s choices.
Her faith helped her immensely when my dad died.She still believes God wants her to keep the farm and not retire to a small house in town.Then again, who would want to buy a desolate, drought-affected farm these days?And even if someone did, the bank would take more from the sale than she would get, no doubt leaving her even worse off.If God has a plan, I sure would like to know what it is.
I hug my mom tightly that night before heading back to my place.Even though I know she wouldn’t have stopped me from leaving Sweetgum Valley, having her here was a big reason behind why I didn’t move.I’ve lived here all my life, after all.I know my place in this town.It is safe; it is secure.
Bayleigh’s life is anything but.As much as I still have these crazy feelings for her, I am better off without her and all her drama.
I am fine on my own.I have a good life.I don’t need more than what I have.Do I?
CHAPTERTWENTY-FOUR
Bayleigh
I’ve fucked up.
I know it.Kelly knows it.
“I should tell Brendon,” Kelly says as she paces the room.“Especially when I found out there were photos and video of you drinking in the park.But we managed to track down the footage and pay them off before it got leaked to the press.”
I have an entire team to clean up my messes.They are good at it too.They cleaned it up all Olivia Pope-style so there is no evidence of the messed up stuff I do.
Their time could be spent so much better.
If photos and video had gotten out, it would have been really, really bad.
“Thank you,” I say, but I know the words are not enough.They never are.
I’m still in bed.I came straight back here last night after running from Chase.Max delivered me safely to Kelly, who’d been out of her mind with worry.She had put me to bed where I had cried until I had passed out.My head is throbbing this morning, but I’m grateful for the pain.It reminds me I’m still alive.
“This is the last time I’m covering for you, Bayleigh.You fuck this up again, I’m out.”Kelly hands me a fresh bottle of water, which I slug down.I’m so dehydrated.
I feel like shit.Not just physically, with a headache throbbing so hard it hurts to keep my eyes open, but I’ve hurt people.Kelly and Brendon are counting on me to get this right, and I’ve let them down.Again.
“I’m sorry.”My voice breaks as the tears sting my eyes.
Kelly sits next to me on my bed.She doesn’t know about my past or the accident, and in this moment, I really need to talk to someone.
Kelly takes my hand, and I know she will keep this secret stored away with all my other ones.She’s bound by an iron-clad NDA, after all, just like Max and everyone else who comes near me.
