“Good morning. I’m awake, hon. You need to get up?” Ace asked sleepily.
“Yeah, nature is calling,” Daisy raised up and placed a kiss on his warm lips. “Good morning,” Daisy smiled at the man that had managed to steal her heart in such a short amount of time. As she headed to the bathroom to take care of business, she marveled to herself how this could have happened so quickly. She had come to crave his emails. It had been the bright spot in her meager existence while overseas. Now here she was with him in her bed. Life had definitely gotten interesting with Ace in it.
After getting dressed they headed out to a local diner for some breakfast. Once they had eaten, Ace drove them to a large supermarket chain store. They shopped together gathering food for Daisy’s house. It seemed so normal for Ace to be pushing the cart for her while she gathered things on her list. She stole a side glance at him as he was checking out some apples in the produce isle. Daisy was still wondering what in the world was going on with him being in her life, but for once she didn’t want to question it and mess things up.
Once their shopping was done, they ran by the post office for Daisy to pick up her mail and then to the bank for her to finish her errands. They headed back to Daisy’s so she could put away her groceries. They laughed and joked while putting away the supplies. Once that was all done. It was time for lunch. Daisy made some sandwiches while Ace made them a salad. They sat down at the breakfast table to eat. A comfortable silence fell over them while they ate. After a while, Ace struck up conversation.
“So, you are off for 2 months. What’s your plans? Going to see you brother?” Ace looksedup to see Daisy staring at him with an odd expression on her face. “What’s wrong sweetheart?”
“Um…I’m not going to be off for 2 months. That’s just too damn long. The general was all hyped up because of the crash and all. I’m sure I can get him to change his mind, but to answer your question, yes, I’ll go see my brother,” Daisy sighed heavily and frowned. “I know it’s been too long. I shouldn’t hurt him that way. It’s been over 5 years since I’ve been there. It’s just easier to Skype, you know?”
“No, Daisy I don’t know.” Ace began. “Why it would be easier to Skype with your brother than to go see him? And yes, you will be off for 2 months because the general said so,” Ace’s voice had gotten deeper and angrier the longer he spoke.
“Ace…” Daisy started to interrupt him, but he quickly cut her off.
“No, Daisy listen to me. It’s time for you to come clean. What is going on with you? You said you would tell me when we got home. I don’t mean to push you, but I could tell from the conversation between you and your brother something is troubling you and it has to do with your brother,” Ace took a deep breath and continued. “No matter what it is you can tell me. Trust me to help you. Let me fix it. I can help you get past these ‘demons’ you are fighting.”
Daisy stared at Ace for a long time, not saying a word. She felt the tears wanting to fall, but she forced them back. Other than her break down after talking to Luke on Skype while still in Afghanistan, she hadn’t allowed herself to cry in years. Not even when she was alone in her bed, late at night having nightmares. She would always force herself to stop once she was awake.
“You have no idea what you are asking of me, Ace.” Daisy whispered. She garnered her strength. “I have been taking care of myself for a long time. I don’t want or need you to take care of my ‘demons.’ I don’t need fixing,” Daisy said angrily. She got up from the table and carried her dishes back to the kitchen. When Ace entered the kitchen, she was throwing her left-over food away, rinsing the dishes, and putting them in the dish washer. When he neared the sink, she grabbed his dishes and proceeded to put them in the dishwasher. Ace reached for her, but she jerked out of his grasp. She abruptly turned and left the room. Ace followed her through the house and up the stairs. She stopped about half way up and turned to him in a huff.
“I think it’s time you left,” Daisy said quietly. “I no longer want company.” And with that she turned to continue up the stairs. Undeterred Ace continued to follow her to her room. Ace again tried to take her in his arms, but she pulled away.
“Dammit Daisy! Don’t fucking shut me out. Talk. To. Me!” Ace demanded.
“What do you want me to say Ace?’ Daisy yelled. “You don’t know me. You don’t know what I have done. I’m an awful, selfish person. I don’t deserve time off, rest, peace, any of it!” She yelled at him. “Don’t you see? I’m paying for the hell I have caused. For what I did to Luke all those years ago. I didn’t deserve to be rescued from the insurgents or the desert. I should have died out there. Why can’t anyone see that and just let it happen? I’m so tired of waiting to get what I deserve. Maybe this hell that I live with every dayismy punishment. I don’t know, but I know that if I don’t have my work it will finally consume me. I need to be at work. It keeps me sane. Can’t you see that?” The fire had left her, and Daisy was whispering by the time she had finished her tirade.
Ace ate up the two strides between them and took her in his arms. She tried to struggle, but he was stronger and managed to hold on to her. She was shaking violently as the emotions overwhelmed her. It had been a long time since Daisy had allowed herself to think those thoughts much less say them out loud. This was what was eating her alive. It should have been her that was paralyzed, not Luke. It was all her fault he was in a wheelchair, that he would never be able to walk on his own. He never got his dream of being a badass Marine like the man holding her.
Tears were streaming down her face; a ragged sob escaped her lips. Ace ran a hand down the back of her head in a soothing manor.
“That’s it, sweetheart. Let it out,” Ace spoke softly. “You don’t deserve to die, no matter what you think you did. Luke loves you. I could see it in his eyes when he was Skyping with you. I know that I don’t know you that well or all that happened, but I do know that your brother doesn’t hold anything against you. It’s time for you to let it go. He told you the same thing, remember?” Ace asked as he pulled back an inch to look her in the eyes.
Daisy could only nod as she was too overcome with emotions to be able to speak. Ace led her to the bed. He bent down and untied her shoes, tapping each foot for her to lift it so he could remove them. He quickly untied his boots and toed out of them. He sat on the bed and pulled Daisy down with him as he laid them down, pulling her on top of him. She rested her head on his chest and worked to calm her emotions as she listened to the steady beating of his heart.
After several long minutes, she began to tell Ace about the night that changed her and Luke’s lives forever. Daisy was afraid that when he heard what she had done, what she had caused, he would walk out of her life. She wasn’t sure she would survive if he did, but she knew that it was time to tell him, before they were any more involved.
“When I was 16, I went to a party at a lake near where we lived,” Daisy began. Her voice quavered with emotions. “Luke had begged me not to go, but I so wanted to fit in for once in my life and I thought the girl that invited me wanted to be my friend. She was a cheerleader and very popular. It was my big break to become someone, you know?” When she paused, Ace just nodded his understanding. Daisy continued then, “Luke was always popular no matter where we went. He could make friends so easily. He was smart and athletic. He worked out every chance he got. He was going to be a Marine when he graduated from high school. He wanted to be what you are Ace.”
“He didn’t go to the Marines,” Ace stated quietly when she didn’t continue.
“No. He didn’t.” Daisy replied sadly. “I ruined it for him. It’s all my fault. He would have been an awesome Marine. You remind me of him so much…like he was before. He is only 11 months older than me, but he was always my protector. He looked out for me. I took him for granted and I cost him his future,” Daisy could barely choke out the words around the large lump in her throat from all the emotions running through her. She paused in her story telling to get her herself under some measure of control. She remained silent until Ace spoke.
“Tell me what happened, sweetheart,” Ace demanded softly. He seemed to know he needed to tread carefully, or she would run from him again. He was afraid the next time she wouldn’t let him stop her. She would just run away and never let him in.
“Like I said before, I was at a party at the lake. After I had been there for a while, I realized no one really wanted to be my friend. They only invited me so I could be their entertainment,” Daisy paused as the memories flooded into her mind. “They kept giving me alcohol and set me up with a boy that they knew I had a crush on. He was Luke’s best friend. He was only at the party as a favor to Luke. He was supposed to watch out for me. Keep me out of trouble,” Daisy gave a bitter laugh at that.
“He didn’t really want to be there. He had a girlfriend that attended another school. When he told me about only being there because Luke had asked him to watch out for me and that he had a girlfriend, I lost it. I was embarrassed and humiliated. I yelled at him and pretty much told him to fuck off. He left and I was stuck with all the assholes. I was so hurt. I called Luke at work, crying hysterically. He knew something was wrong even though he couldn’t understand what I was saying through my tears,” Daisy drew a shuddering breath but continued. “He told me to stay put he would be right there. I went and hid from the other kids leaving the party. I waited and waited in the cold dark night, but Luke never came. In the early morning hours, a park ranger came by and found me. He radioed the local police to have them take me home, but once they found out who I was, they took me to the local hospital, instead.
“Luke had been in an auto accident on his way to get me. He would never have been on that road if I hadn’t called him. It was all my fault, Ace. He never got to be a Marine…because of me. I ruined his life that night. If only I hadn’t been so selfish. He had begged me,begged meAce, not to go, but I did anyway. And when things went south like he told me they would, I called him to come get me,” Daisy struggled to maintain control. Her voice waivered and cracked as she tried to continue the awful tale.
“He was in a coma for several weeks. I refused to leave him alone at the hospital. Our mother is an unreliable woman. She was never really a mother to us. Luke looked after me and our younger brothers. I was so lost and alone waiting and praying he would wake up. When he finally did, I was so relieved that I hadn’t killed him, but I soon learned there are fates worse than death,” Daisy again shuddered in Aces’ arms. He continued to hold her, running a soothing hand down her back as he listened to her tale.
“He’s paralyzed Ace, from the waist down. He has been in a wheelchair for 20 years. All because I wanted to fit in at school. I couldn’t see that those pricks didn’t mean a damn thing. Hell, I haven’t even seen them since that night. I went on home bound so I could finish school and take care of Luke. Oh, some of them came to visit him at the hospital, but I made sure I wasn’t there when they came. Once Luke was out of rehab and doing well enough he didn’t need me anymore, I finished my high school diploma, joined the Navy and worked hard to become a doctor so I could help the men and women that would have been Luke’s comrades if he had been able to full fill his dreams.”
Daisy became suddenly silent lost in her memories. Ace continued to rub her back to comfort her. She waited for the reality of what she had just revealed to sink in. He would surely leave her now that he knew what she did all those years ago. How she ruined her brother’s life. Ace surprised her when he asked
“Is that it?”
