Leaning in, we meet each other in a kiss laced with passion and healing. Healing that I never thought I would find, let alone feel worthy of. And as we lay in soft grass, surrounded by wildflowers, a soundtrack of nature, and the rush of the waterfall, Remington does exactly as he promised and worships my body.
Healing me, holding me, loving me just as I am.
And I know in this moment, that he has fully claimed me—body and soul.
31
Remington
It’s late at the fire station, I should be asleep. Instead, I am up in the common area with Lainey’s journals and my drawing stuff. Our trip to the cabin was perfect and painful. Perfect because we had so much quality time together and nature has a way of calming me like nothing else can. Walker’s cabin was incredible. He definitely undersold his description to me when he said it was just a little place he used for a side hustle. If he put some money into a couple places like that up there, he’d have a full-blown destination spot that would be booked out months and months in advance. He told me he barely even advertises for the cabin.
The painful part of the trip was at the waterfall. I felt like my soul was being torn from my body when Lainey opened up to me and told me about her past. If that fucker wasn’t already dead, I honestly would hunt him down and put him in the ground myself. I hope I never have to meet her father because I have nothing good to say to Patrick Quinn. I already had zero respect for the man, but after what I saw pour out of my beautiful woman that day—the absolute terror, the pain, the sadness, and trauma ... I wish I could put him in the ground,too for all the sins he’s committed against Lainey. He may not have ever physically hit her, but his words, emotional trauma, and neglect left deep scars that will always mark her. She deserved so much better, and I hate that I can’t protect her from her past.
So lost in thought and the sunflowers that I am sketching, I don’t hear Eli come up and sit down. I jolt and mess up my lines when he says, “So does Lainey know you are a little Rembrandt yet?” He casually kicks his boots up on the coffee table and puts his arms behind his head.
“Shit, you messed me up.” I huff and erase my mistake, blowing off the paper and starting again. “And to answer your question. No ... She doesn’t know yet, and I’m going to keep it that way until this is done.”
“What about your drawing setup in your office at home?”
“I stashed it all away in the guest closet and can pull it back out again someday. We never really go in the office anyway. Lainey took over the whole dining area for her workspace, which was fine by me.” I use my pinky and blend the strokes I just made, bringing the flowers to life.
“She is going to freak out when she sees this.” Eli nods to the journal.
“I hope she likes it,” I admit nervously, reading the quote she wrote in the journal to accompany that day’s thoughts.
“A sunflower doesn’t compete with other flowers; it just blooms.”
Why does everything with Cal have to be so difficult? I swear it will never get better if he refuses to realize that Dad isn’t a god among men. But that’s right where he’s been our whole lives;serving at Dad’s altar. Cal is the golden child—the one that will take over whatever they are “building” in DC that I want nothing to do with, no matter how much they push. They hear me say no, but to Dad and Cal it just means that I am being stubborn or stupid. Having a mind of your own, according to the men of the Quinn household, is like walking around with the plague, which they are determined to rid you of one way or another. I willhappilybe sick the rest of my life.
I want to be my own person. Live my life away from them. That’s all I have ever wanted. Is it really asking for too much?
“Are you kidding me? It is romantic as shit, Rem. I have never seen you put so much time and effort into something like this. You also took the risk of exposing your hidden talent to the whole station to be able to work on it when you’re here, which I know you never planned on doing.” Eli understands me better than anyone, and he also knows that my art was private. He was one of the only people on the planet that knew I could draw more than a doodle on a bar napkin, let alone that it was a serious passion of mine.
“Well, this is important. And I guess being with her makes me feel brave enough to not hide parts of myself that I should be proud of. Cora always made me feel like shit for going after the things that made me happy, the things that I was good at. Hiding the whole drawing thing, I think that was just an automatic reflex from the damage she inflicted.” I stare down at the sunflowers, knowing that I don’t want to hide anythinganymore, including my feelings for Lainey.
“That makes a lot of sense, man. I’m happy you found Lainey. She’s really good for you.” Eli claps my shoulder.
“Yeah, she is,” I easily agree. “Now we have to find you the right woman to settle down with.”
He lets out a rough bark of laughter. “Fuuuck, no! You might be all locked down and glowing, but that isnotmy path. I am happily on the single road and never getting sidetracked.”
“Sure, sure.” I decide to let it go, not wanting to give him too much of a hard time this late at night.
“Haven’t had any crazy Cora sightings lately?” Eli asks.
“No. We did the whole restraining order thing. Then when they went to her apartment she was actually there, which was a shock. They arrested her for the vandalism to Lainey’s car. She has a court date and all that, but they don’t keep you locked up in holding long for something so minor,” I explain to him.
“They couldn’t keep her on any drug charges?”
“She apparently didn’t have any in her system at the time, and they didn’t find any when they arrested her. Doesn’t mean I think Rodger was mistaken. I definitely think she has a problem.” I rub my neck, thinking. “Still have no idea why she is trying to make me marry her. It’s creepy.”
Eli shudders. “Yeah, obviously she’s not in her right mind, who knows why she locked in on that. I think her dad must be right, that she’s just desperate and trying to get to your money. If Cora was willing to rob her own mother? I can’t imagine the lengths she would go to for more cash. She knows you were always responsible, you have the finance background. It’s not like you are out blowing your money on stupid stuff. But thankfully you and Lainey got the right things in place to keep her away and documented everything.”
“Right. I just hope it’s enough to keep her the hell awayfor good.” I let out a long sigh. “Well, I think I’m gonna try and get some rest.” I stand up and head toward where we rack out when we are on shift.
“Hey, Rem,” Eli calls after me. “Anything you and Lainey need, you know I’m here for you, right?”
“I know, brother,” I say, the term tying us together in this station and in every other aspect of life.
