“You cried?”
“Oh.” Reno put his phone on the table. “Oops. Yeah.”
“Because”—Luka raised an eyebrow—“you couldn’t find me?”
“Sage tried to help.” Reno tapped a finger against the back of his phone. “Sort of, at first. She also put a stop to me trying after a while because it was making me a little insane.”
“A little?” Luka’s expression was pure disbelief. “You’re fully insane.”
“True.” Reno tapped his finger again. “I’m also very emotional, especially when I’ve had too much to drink. Usually, I am happy when drinking but sometimes I get overwhelmed and it’s all too much and there was a particular night when Sage caught me in a mood, and I ended up crying.”
“Over me?”
“Sure, kind of.” Reno slowly spun his phone on the table, giving himself something to do other than look at Luka. “Over trying and failing to see you in the crowd at the U.S. tour two years ago. About how lonely it is to not have anyone to give myself to wholly. I feel misplaced a lot, like I don’t really have a home. I’m not in mine much, and when I am, it is empty. I really wanted to come home to someone, make my flat feel like a real home. And, at the time Sage had a new boyfriend she was very excited about and I got jealous. I was really tired after flying back, mild sick, and wanted attention, and she was texting him instead of hanging out with me and I got weird about it.”
“Did you like her?”
“No, I never felt like that about her. I think if I did she would gut me, anyway. But, it gets hard knowing I live in a way that isn’t good for building relationship and love and watching my best friend get to be at home with her man.”
“I’m glad it wasn’t just about me. That would be pretty delusional.”
“Ah, so mean,” Reno smirked at him. “I’m a different type of delusional. I don’tjustcry about not being able to find Luka, I cry about not being able to find him,anda lot of other things all at once.”
“So, what kind of delusional are you?”
“The kind that thinks I can do anything.” Reno finished his drink. “I have a nasty mindset that if I try to get something or do something, I can. And to the misfortune of everyone around me, I continue to keep getting everything I want.”
“Rough," Luka chuckled. “Lucky for me, however.”
Reno’s heart melted. “I’m happy you still think that after hearing all of that. Somehow, I am not scaring you away.”
“I’m the one who drew fan art of you for ten years.” Luka clapped a hand over his mouth and groaned.
“He finally admits it fully! I’m so proud. I have your art on my phone.”
Luka put his other hand over the first and curled in on himself. Muffled, he said, “No way.”
“Mhm.” Reno peeled Luka’s hands away from his face. “You are spectacular.”
“You didn’t say.”
“I knew you were embarrassed. But, you have no reason to be.” Reno assured Luka, “You draw me more beautifully than I’ve ever seen myself. If I hadn’t already found you and I saw your art, I would hunt you down. You make me feel seen.”
“I—” Luka let Reno hold his hands, his shoulders slumped in defeat. “This is crazy, right?”
“Yes.” Reno squeezed Luka’s hands.
“I mean, I’m here.” Luka looked around them. “I’m in another country, nervous as hell while you tell me you cried because you couldn’t find me and you knew the whole time Idrew fanart of you, and, oh my god, I’m holding hands with the man I drew fanart of for over a decade.”
“I’m holding hands with the man I sought after for a decade. Life is weird. Are you done eating?”
“I don’t think I could have another bite if I tried.” Luka blinked and Reno could see how wet his eyes were so he carefully put Luka’s hands down and let them go.
“Come home with me?”
Luka looked surprised for a moment before asking timidly. “Play violin for me?”
“Tomorrow,” Reno promised. “Violin is loud for this late; I try to be kind to my neighbors.”
