“Yes?” He answered, and Luka tried to remember how to breathe.
“Reno, are you okay?” Kandi asked, and Reno frowned.
“Of course not.”
“We need to resolve this together.”
“I know.”
“Will you come to the office? We will be here with the police to make a statement.”
Reno sighed, then looked at Luka, who was clinging to himself on the ground. “Two hours. Don’t bother us until then.”
“I’ll hold everyone off until then.”
“Thank you.” Reno hung up and showed Luka his phone, pointing at it so Luka would watch as he powered it down. Once the screen was black, he left it on the counter, grabbed the mug, and silently walked over to where Luka was on the floor and sat in front of him.
He held the mug out and said, “It always helps me.”
Luka tried reaching out and found his arm shaking. “I’ll drop it.”
“It is my favorite mug, so please don’t.” Reno didn’t smile, but something softened around his eyes. “Here, lean forward.”
He held the mug to Luka’s lips and tilted it slowly. It was sweeter than Luka liked, but the warmth was comforting.
Reno took a drink after him, then set it to the side.
“How are you so calm?”
With a small frown, Reno said, “This isn’t the first time I’ve been through this. I’m so sorry.”
“Why? You didn’t do anything wrong here.” Luka put his forehead on his knees and held his legs to his chest. “I’m the one who messed up.”
“I have the order of protection, but it did not extend to you. That’s an error on my part. I failed to protect you,” Reno said, and Luka had never heard his voice so flat, so even. He was so used to the expressive nature of Reno’s voice that he felt a part of himself wither. “I didn’t want to scare you, but I should have said something when I saw her name in your phone last week. I thought I could handle things on my own.”
“So, you knew and didn’t tell me?” Luka asked as his stomach turned again.
“Not exactly,” Reno said, and Luka lifted his head to take in how he looked. He was so unlike his usual bright self, Luka felt startled. “There’s a million Joys in the world. I didn’t want to come off like a paranoid lover, asking you who was in your phone or who you were seeing. I tried to convince myself it wasn’t her. She’s been so quiet for so long, it felt unlikely it was.”
“You could haveasked,” Luka snapped. “Just asked me what she looked like, told me your ex's name, told me you had an activestalker,so I could be more vigilant, be clued in just a little that I might be endangering us both.”
“You’re right,” Reno admitted and shrank into himself. “This is the first time I’m doing this with a partner. I wasn’t popular like this when I was dating her. Every time I handled my information being leaked or rumors, it was just my life affected—though it’s never been to this extent—and I survived. This is different. I made mistakes.”
Luka ran his hands through his hair and tugged, the feeling on his scalp grounding him a little. He felt like crying, but was too frustrated to do so. “I can’t be with someone who doesn’t tell me uncomfortable, important things.”
“I know. I didn’t want to scare you.”
“I’m more scared now than if youhadtold me!” Luka tugged harder and put his forehead to his knees again, making a frustrated noise.
“I’ve learned this too late.” Reno slowly turned the mug so the handle was facing him before picking it up to take a sip. He let the steam hit his face for a moment before he said, “I am telling you now.”
“You’re not. I’m finding out in bits and pieces.” Luka huffed into his knees, not letting Reno see his face. “There were so many moments you could have justexplained thisto me.”
Reno sat silently for a while before picking the coffee mug up and taking a sip. The air between them felt charged in a way Luka hated. He was so used to the feeling between them being charged with passion, with affection. Right now, it felt nearly dangerous, and Luka shuffled away from Reno a little, a sickness creeping up his throat.
Luka lifted his head to say, “You were supposed to trust me.”
Reno flinched. He put the mug down and asked, “What do you want me to do?”
