“I really don’t wanna talk about it.” Luka slowed to a walk, then gradually came to a stop.
Cane took a moment to realize Luka had stopped and had to double back. “I already had to talk to August and my friend, Maria. Wulf has been bugging me too, because he sees way more of the shit online than I do. Even my ex, Jay, tried to call me, even though he knows I don’t wanna hear from him. They’re all worried about me, and it pisses me off. I’m fine.”
“You’re as bad a liar as Reno.” Cane put his hands in his pockets, looking like he was bracing himself for a scolding. “You’re not fine. Your privacy was violated.”
“I don’t care. It’s not a secret that I’m transgender and gay. It’s not a secret that my parents pushed me out of their lives. It’s not a secret that I’ve been a fan of Voltage’s music for so long. Nothing they can say or do can actually hurt me. I’m not protecting anyone. I have nothing to lose.”
“You could lose your boyfriend.”
Luka shoved his own hands into his pockets, mirroring Cane’s defensive stance. Another runner dodged them, and Luka walked to a nearby bench.
“If you don’t lose him as a partner, you might lose him to himself.”
“What do you mean?” Luka sat down, staring at everything around him except for Cane, who eventually moved to sit next to him.
Cane kicked his long legs out in front of him and threw his arms over the back of the bench. He said, “Last time this shit happened, it took over a year to draw Reno out of himself again. He’s had a lot of therapy since then, helping to learn how to break out of compulsive spirals and the like, but it can get bad. We’re all concerned this will trigger those kinds of patterns again.”
“I didn’t know you cared so much.”
Cane chuckled. “I’ve been with these boys for over a decade. I’d die for Reno.”
Luka squirmed. “Everyone is so intense about them all the time.”
“He inspires that in people. Both good and bad.” Cane moved his legs out of the way as another person jogged by. “I think people like him only come around once every few decades. People who burn so bright it’s kind of hard to be around them. It can make people a little insane. It’s why I like you.”
“What?” Luka tilted his head to look at Cane.
“You don’t act crazy about him. I mean, wait. Let me rephrase that. You act mental about him in the way that's like, you would as a person in love with another person. Not as a person in love with Reno.”
“But, I?—”
“You treat him like just another person, while still appreciating the magic he makes. In all my years of being with Volt, I’ve never seen someone other than the boys be that way with him. Eh, no, I take that back. Sage is alright too. That girl is fierce. She doesn’t care for Reno’s music, though, so I think it spared her from the fanatic tendencies. Still, I don’t think anyone in the world could get one up on her.”
“That’s true,” Luka mused. “Wait, does that mean you think I’m like that? Tough, or whatever?”
“Yeah, now you’re getting it.”
“No, I’m not,” Luka argued. “Or, just that, Idisagree. I’ve let plenty of people control me in the past. I get tricked by people more often than I like to admit. I let the people I love walk all over me.”
Cane hummed thoughtfully. “I don’t think that’s true. Maybe it was, but you gotta look at yourself a little harder, mate.”
Luka watched a squirrel run up a tree and asked, “What should I do?”
“Fight.”
Luka was quiet for a long time. “I’m so…tired, though.”
“Yeah. Me too.” Cane leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, watching the same squirrel. “But, you might be the only person who can stand by Reno and fight this battle with him.”
“I want to,” Luka confirmed. “I want Reno to have a life where he can have more freedom, where we can be together, and if it takes me…I don’t know, doing a joint interview or talking to PR with him, orsomething.Maybe people would have to back down. Maybe I’ll get back on social media and just start confirming or denying things.” Luka bounced his foot a few times, feeling a plan form and the relief at having an inkling of direction was like a balm. “I’ll see what Reno says. Maybe I can fix this.”
“I wouldn’t get back online. Stick to professional outlets. It has more credibility.” Cane nodded and Luka nodded back before they both stood from the bench.
They ran back, pushing themselves faster than usual to return to the flat. But when they arrived, Reno was gone.
Rosé
are u ok, darling?
