When he pulled away it was with a swelling in his chest. Reno’s eyes tracked down Luka’s face and then back as he pulled his plush lower lip between his teeth and fought back a smile. He released it with an exhale before he tilted his head forward to rest on Luka’s shoulder.
“What do you want to do?” Reno asked and Luka thought for a moment of a million things he wanted to do with Reno before Reno continued, “I mean, with your life?”
“Oh…" Luka’s mind scrambled to get back on topic. “I wanna quit my job.”
Reno chuckled then lifted his head. “Come on, give me more than that.”
“Well, it’s the start. I quit my job. I travel, make art. Paint more. I don’t paint nearly as much as I want to because I just don’t have the space right now. Oils take a lot of setup, canvases are big…” Luka trailed off, trying not to pay attention to the way Reno stared at him. “The rest is embarrassing to say.”
“Your dreams can’t be that embarrassing.”
“Okay, then don’t judge me.”
Reno tucked a stray hair behind Luka’s ear then ran his fingers over the many piercings in Luka’s earlobe. “Never.”
“I—" Luka started, then tilted his head away from Reno’s touch, “I want to be taken care of.”
“How so?” Reno let his hand fall away.
“I want to be adored so much that I’m given the space to create. A home where I can paint without fighting to make money to live. A dog. Coffee brought to me in the morning. Someone to tell me my art is beautiful and mean it. A life of quiet evenings tucked away with someone who thinks I'm worth it and loves me more than anyone else in the world. It sounds superficial or sexist, and I wonder how much of it is ingrained in me because of how I grew up, but it doesn’t change the way I want to be kept.”
Reno was quiet for a while and Luka didn’t want to continue, even if his list of wants was endless. He thought he might collapse if he had to admit more; he already felt like he would choke and make a mess of himself before he finished what he was saying.
He couldn’t help from letting one more thing slip out, though. “I want to be someone’s most important person. I’ve never been that.”
Reno took a deep breath and said, “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“It is understandable to want those things,” Reno said quickly, like he was catching himself. “I don’t think it’s trivial.”
“Thanks, I think.” Luka gently pushed on Reno’s legs to move them off his lap.
“I think your art is beautiful.”
“You saying that after my admission makes it kind of flimsy.”
Reno smiled at him. “You doubt so much.”
“Someone has to,” Luka said, not feeling great about it.
“I do mean it. I like the thing you show me. I want you to paint too.”
“Why?”
“You should be happy,” Reno replied, like that was an easy thing to be. “It sounds like you haven’t had the chance to.”
“Capitalism and the state of society makes it a little difficult.”
“Ah." Reno smirked at him. “We will see.”
Luka twisted, looking right at Reno. “What does that mean?”
“Nothing!” Reno beamed at him then reached forward, taking Luka’s face in his capable hands. “I wish for you to be happy, Luka. Tell me how I can make it happen.”
“Kiss me,” Luka replied, not wanting to speak the full truth.
Reno did.
