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“No, not yet. I’m trying to decide when.” Before we left for summer break, my instructor wanted to offer me a spot in a show on Broadway he was producing. It was an amazing opportunity. The problem was it would keep me from traveling to the different events Charles was expected to attend.
Millie was silent and I glanced over to her. With her raised eyebrow, I knew what she was thinking before she said it. “It’s not good to let stuff sit between the two of you. If he loves you, he’ll support you.”
“I know. It’s just I’ve always been there. He says politics isn’t the life for him. He wants to be a lawyer.” I took a breath. “I’m afraid our dreams will eventually tear us apart. I love him, Millie.”
“He’s all you’ve ever known.”
I let the words linger before responding. “I know. But we’re perfect together.”
The memory faded as a boy threw a ball to his dad. Perfect. Were the signs obvious back then that we were going down separate paths? I’d never told Charles about the offer. The only one who knew was Millie. After the accident, there was no reason to say anything since it wasn’t an option.
Time to meet Millie approached. It was time to leave. Not knowing when I would get to see her again, I gently gave her a kiss on the forehead.
“I love you, Mom.”
She remained asleep.
Quietly, I left out the side door. The fewer people who saw me the better. A few blocks away from the nursing home a woman saw me with a scowl on her face. It was Alec’s mother. I wanted to apologize again. But I put my head down and quickened my pace. It was the chicken way out, but emotionally I wasn’t able to handle anything else.
My apologies only fueled the hate.
After my sentencing in court, I read a letter aloud for everyone to hear how truly penitent I was for actions I couldn’t remember. My heartfelt words only heightened their animosity as they shouted explicative after explicative at me while I stood at the front of the courtroom taking it.
Running to the outskirts of town, I collapsed against a building and sobbed. I wanted to let go of the past, but the past wouldn’t let go of me.
SUPPER WAS FINISHED. MILLIE AND I sat on the front porch while the creak of the swing sounded. We gently rocked our legs. In the distance, the lights were on in the barn. Dad was probably finishing up the nightstand he was working on earlier today. A few crickets who were out early sung the evening anthem. All of this normalcy helped calm me from the events earlier today in town.
As we sipped our sweet tea, I said, “Thanks for picking me up a little early today, Millie.”
I called Millie as soon as I got myself together. Of course, Millie sensed I was upset. Instead of prodding, she knew what I needed and chatted about unimportant events. It helped clear my head.
Bumping my shoulder as the swing moved back, Millie said, “I’m always here for you, London. What happened?”
Where to begin? I rubbed my forehead as I gathered my thoughts. “It’s like I can’t make any headway at all. Be given a chance to prove I’m not a terrible person. Marion at the bakery said to be careful. No one would hire me. There was a note left threatening to take everything away if she helped. I assume others got it. I know Alec is dead, but I loved that boy too.”
“Wait, a note? What the hell? Why didn’t they go to the cops?”
“Millie, they can’t take a chance on their livelihoods. Marian supports her granddaughter. Bob has a special-needs child with steep insurance. Gwinette lost her husband a few years ago and depends solely on herself. This is a really small town, Millie.” I took a deep breath trying to not break down. “I wish I could take the accident back. The images haunt me in my sleep and when I’m awake. I don’t know why someone would do this unless everyone feels that way about me.”
Millie was pensive a few minutes before she spoke. “I’ve told you this before, but I always thought it was strange that out of the blue you got wasted and decided to go on a joy ride. You barely drank when we went out. I still believe you were setup.”
I sighed wishing the words she spoke were true more than anything. We’d been through this a million times with lawyers. At one point, I believed it myself. “Millie, we’ve tried to figure out who but nothing makes sense. How would they have known Alec would be crossing the street at that time of night? How would they have planned that I would be driving through the neighborhood? There was only alcohol in my system—a lot of it.”
We grew quiet. “London, what if someone thought you would crash before you made it that far into town? What if they were trying to get rid of you?”
“Me? Why?”
“To become a trophy wife in politics.”
I stood, needing to move as thoughts flitted through my mind. “Rachel? Millie, Charles had nothing to do with Rachel back then. They rarely spoke.”
Millie shrugged and kept swinging. “I don’t know. But the moment you went behind bars, she was around him constantly—consoling him. I thought he was smart enough to see through it, so I minded my own business. He visited you every chance he got. And then, out of the blue he ended it. They became a couple a month later. By the time I shared my thoughts with your mom, she was too far progressed into the disease. Until I had something concrete, I didn’t want to give you false hope so I stayed quiet.”
Millie stood and I gave her a hug. “I don’t deserve a friend like you.”
“We’re forever friends, London. We took the oath in my backyard when we were six with ice cream.” She released me, but held onto my shoulders. “I think we need to dig deeper, London. See if we can find anything new. It was too hard with me in New York, but I can help now.”
A tired sigh escaped. “I can’t keep going back to that night. A night I don’t remember. I’m losing myself to something I don’
