Page 45 of Dissipate


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Arms came around me. “Hey, sweetheart. Are you about ready?”

“Yes, I can’t wait.” I loved spending time with Aiden, especially outdoors.

We were looking at each other in the mirror above my dresser. Aiden’s arms were mere inches from the underneath side of my breasts. They felt heavy, dying to be squeezed. I loved when he touched me there, but so far that’s all we had done. “What are you thinking about, Kenzie?”

Giving a shy smile, I looked away. “Just us.”

His hands moved up and I leaned back, giving him access to my neck. “I like the sound of that. I couldn’t get you out of my mind. I hate when we don’t stay together.” Lips made contact with my skin.

Barely able to contain the moan, I responded breathily, “Me, too. Maybe you could stay the night tonight.”

“I’d like that.” Abruptly, he pulled away. “If I keep touching you, I won’t be able to stop.”

The throb within me over the last two weeks neared an unbearable state. I needed more. It was like my body was beginning to demand some sort of release or I would explode. Grabbing my coat, I followed Aiden out of the room.

Brooklyn was at the counter eating a bowl of cereal and swinging her legs. I made a mental note to see if we could stop by the grocery store tomorrow. I needed a few things or I’d have to be walking to Walmart at some time for food. Either was fine, but I could get everything on my list if someone drove me versus making multiple trips. Canned food and milk were heavy when I put them in my backpack.

Between mouthfuls, she said, “You guys have fun. It should be beautiful up there.”

Aiden put on his coat. “Yeah, I figured I’d take Kenzie to the rocks you like.”

Brooklyn turned to me. “Oh, you’ll love it, Kenzie. I’ve been wanting to take Mike up there at some point. We’ve been crazy busy.”

We said our good-byes. I recognized the part of town as we drove and made small talk. The sign for Walmart I’d initially visited passed us by as I remembered my first day here. How time changed things.

Now when I entered a Walmart store, I didn’t pause to look at everything I passed in the store. Up ahead, we turned left, then wound up a road. Within minutes, we were isolated from the chaotic hum-drum of life. Trees encapsulated the vehicle as we drove farther up the road. Leaves continued to occasionally drop.

Stopping, Aiden pulled off the side of the road. Only a couple of cars with bike racks on the back of them were parked in front of us.

I got out of the vehicle and took it all in. Closing my eyes, I listened to the rustling of the leaves and the silence. Silence is a beautiful sound. My eyes opened and this place resonated peace. “This place is magnificent. I like the isolation.”

Aiden’s arms encircled my waist. “Wait until we start on the path. We need to sign a waiver, then we can hike.”

“Yes, let’s get going.”

We took a couple of steps down to a notebook. The waiver was simple to understand that the trail was dangerous and the owner’s weren’t liable. We signed our names. The pages were crinkled as the wooden box had not completely protected the notebook from the elements.

Aiden grabbed my hand and we hiked on what could barely classified as a trail. The path was rocky and the dirt worn. Squirrels scurried about. Rocks littered the path which only made it more endearing.

Barely missing a small tree stump, Aiden warned, “Watch your step, sweetheart. It’s going to get a little rougher ahead.”

Aiden had my hand as he walked slightly in front of me. There wasn’t enough room for two people to be fully side by side. I was taking in the beauty of this place. The foliage reminded me of the woods back home when Matthew and I would go exploring when we were able to steal some free time.

Matthew and I would walk for hours while we talked and held hands. What seemed like such an intimate gesture back then was now simply a way to connect with someone. Holding hands didn’t have to be intimate.

There were deer tracks on the path sporadically. During our walks, I’d learned how to spot animal tracks with Matthew. Those were happy memories. I hoped he was happy like me.

“Do you like it out here?” Aiden’s question brought me back out of thoughts from the past.

Blinking my eyes, I cleared the memories. “Yes, I do. I used to spend many hours outside.”

“I bet you hated the winter.”

I tried to think why I would hate the winter. We’d only get snow a few times a year. On those days, we were allowed to stay inside and reflect on the white that represented The Light. Mom and I would stay snuggled in bed while we talked and I got some additional studying in. Those were the best days.

Curious, I asked, “Why is that?”

He shrugged. “I’ve heard that Montana has pretty harsh winters.” The words had me faltering and losing my step. Aiden had caught me in a lie. “Are you okay, Kenzie?”

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