Page 56 of Dissipate


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Digging deeper, I read all the information on arsenic. One picture of a brittle striped fingernail caught my attention as I looked through the photos connected with the poison.

I had seen something similar to this.

Closing my eyes, I tried to place where I’d seen nails like this. Lying on a bed with candles lit all around her, my mom came into focus. Mom. It was my mom. A close up of my mom’s hands flashed through my mind and I read more. I attempted to remember if John’s first wife had the same fingernails when she died. I couldn’t remember.

Other symptoms included: headaches; tingling in the hands and feet; discolored, striped and brittle nails; stomach cramps; hair loss; diarrhea; difficulty breathing.

I read everything I could find. Blood drained from my face and was replaced with a lightheadedness. My stomach wanted to revolt as the implications sunk in.

There was a chance my mom had been murdered.

IN A NUMB state, I traipsed around aimlessly. A light drizzle started. It had been hours since I’d left the library, trying to process all of the information I’d learned. The sun had set long ago.

The facts I’d read kept circulating through my mind. Being odorless and flavorless, arsenic was nearly impossible to detect. My mom had exhibited all of the visible signs I could find. If I could have taken a picture of her, she would have been an exact replica from all of the pictures I’d seen this afternoon.

I had no proof, never would, but I knew someone had poisoned her in The Society. There had been a few mysterious deaths over the years and I think they were victims of being poisoned. The question I didn’t have the answer to was why.

Why would someone try to kill my mom?

I had no answer.

This was the vicious loop my mind was caught in.

No one knew of my mom’s indiscretions of teaching me. We’d always done it in private and I’d never shared with anyone. I knew she wouldn’t have told anyone either. Nothing made sense. There weren’t any indicators that I could remember that something had happened.

Mom had mentioned in her note about going to a doctor to get the proper medicines. She must not have known she was being poisoned either. Otherwise, I’m certain she would have demanded that I run—or that we try to run together.

Poison was the only answer to her mysterious death now that my eyes had been opened.

Thunder rumbled and I blinked into focus. I was standing in the parking lot where the Greyhound had dropped me off on my first day here in Fayetteville. There was so much wrong that had been done to innocent people. We had been victims of the Keeper while he decided who lived and who died. There had to be something I could do. Somehow . . . someway . . . figure out how to stop the killings. Maybe, if there was an inconspicuous way to expose them.

The wind blew and I shivered. I needed to get home. My tears felt hot against my cool cheeks. If only I could reverse time, I would get my mom out of there. We would have come here and been happy.

“Kenzie!”

I turned at my name. Aiden ran to me, leaving his car door open. Panic was clear in his actions. Skidding to a halt, he brought me to him. Warmth enveloped me as I sobbed into his chest losing all my composure.

“Sweetheart, where have you been? What’s wrong? I’ve been looking for you for hours.” The panic in his voice had me crying harder. The cold seeped into my bones and my teeth were chattering amongst the sobs. “Fuck, Kenzie, you’re freezing. Let’s get you home.”

I nodded into his chest, still unable to calm myself. Guiding me to the car, Aiden took off my backpack before putting me in the passenger seat. Quickly, he got in on the driver’s side. The frigidness became more prevalent.

Aiden cranked on the heat, then put his phone to his ear. “I found her. I’m bringing her home. I don’t know. I don’t know, Brooklyn. I need to get her warmed up first. I know. Yes, I know that, too. Yes. I think that’s a good idea. Okay. I will. Love you, too.”

He exhaled a breath. “Sweetheart, are you hurt? I need to know if you’re hurt and if I need to get you to the hospital.”

My shoulders were slumped as I gazed at my legs. With the shock and numbness wearing away, I felt the unneeded loss acutely. Mom and I had been cheated out of time. So much time.

I shook my head. My voice was hoarse. “I’m not hurt. Please take me home.”

The car shifted into gear and we made our way home. Aiden didn’t say anything. His hand came out and tried to make friction against my left arm to help warm me. It was hard to make sense of all the chaos in my head. Before I knew it, we were pulling up to my apartment. Wordlessly, I got out of the car and made it to the front door.

Brooklyn’s voice scared me. “Kenzie.” I turned and she engulfed me in a hug. “I told Aiden I was leaving, but I needed to make sure you were okay. Mike’s in the car, but I had to stay until I saw you.”

Muffled, I spoke into her shoulder, “I will be.”

“Let me know if you need anything.”

Stepping back, I kept my eyes cast downward. “I promise.”

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