Page 9 of Dissipate


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He didn’t bother responding.

Quickly, I took care of things and wet a paper towel to clean my face. Muscles within my body screamed from exhaustion. My reflection showed a tired stressed out face. Deep calming breaths help ease the tension.

“You can do this, Sarah. I mean Kenzie.” The words came from my mouth and I wanted to believe them as I kept looking at myself.

I am not Sarah. I am Kenzie.

In the hallway that led back to the store, I noticed something affixed to the wall. A sign on it stated water fountain. My throat was instantly on fire as thirst came to the forefront of my mind. Looking around to see if anyone was watching me, I depressed the button that read PUSH. Water came out in an arc. I knelt over and drank the cool and refreshing liquid until I wasn’t able to hold any more. Filling my stomach would help abate the hunger

that was becoming slightly prevalent. Until I got a better understanding of my surroundings, I was going to wait to buy food.

As I returned to the front of the store, I took my time to further inspect the metal shelving units. Everything had a price associated with it. Paying for food was a new concept. Paying for anything was actually. The Society didn’t have money. We only took what we needed and gave what we didn’t.

Through the window, a large gray bus came through. The cashier turned my way. “That’s your bus. It’s early. I would suggest going ahead and getting on.”

“Thanks. Have a good evening.”

He nodded and focused back to that square thing he had been typing on earlier. It was hard tampering my curiosity to ask what the contraption was. This was all part of the technology my mom had mentioned. I was frustrated not knowing and understanding certain concepts, but breezing through others.

It was hard to believe that walking three hours had led me to a completely different world. Making my way to the bus, I had my ticket in hand. A sweet little lady sat behind the wheel. It was amazing she was able to drive such a large thing. Excitement bloomed within me as I prepared to ride in my first vehicle.

I handed the bus driver my ticket. She put a machine to it. “What is that?”

She smiled sweetly as she handed me back the paper. “It’s these new contraptions they’ve put in. They scan the tickets to make sure they’re valid.”

So many things seem automated in this new world. I wanted to explore it all, ask a million questions, and live.

Not sure where to go, I asked, “Is there a specific place I need to sit?”

“You can sit in any seat that’s open, hunny.”

“Thank you.” The bus only had a few people on board. As I passed by, I saw a younger man with things in his ears. I wondered how he was listening through them. A few rows behind him was an elderly woman who was reading.

Taking the most isolated seat, I settled in and tried to get my thoughts about me. A sense of relief washed over me accomplishing my first couple of tasks—get to the bus station and get a ticket. Two older women boarded the bus and took the two available seats in front of me. They excitedly chatted up a storm. I hoped one day I was as at ease as they were in this life.

The driver’s voice came on loud throughout the bus. How is she doing that? Glancing toward the front, I noticed she had something put to her mouth which was probably then pushing it through the bus.

“Good evening. We will be departing Nevada, Missouri in five minutes. Our approximate travel time is three and a half hours. If there’s anything I can do to make your trip more enjoyable let me know. I’ll be dimming the lights for those who want to sleep.”

The bus continued to idle in its spot for a few minutes before the front door of the bus closed and we moved forward. It was a weird feeling seeing the world pass me by without putting any effort into the motion. Vehicles were definitely a good way to travel.

Not knowing when I’d be able to sleep again, I closed my eyes to escape the fear of what I was faced with. My small accomplishments of tonight were nothing in the scheme of things.

Hopefully, the Keeper believed I’d committed suicide. If not . . . hopefully the Keeper didn’t find me in Arkansas.

EARLY-MORNING LIGHT came through the tinted windows. An ache in my neck formed from the angle I slept in. Stretching, my muscles protested. If I was home, Mom and I would have been making breakfast before our morning chores. I loved the peacefulness the early morning daylight brought. But with the memory of my mom’s death, the ease I normally felt vanished. I missed my mom.

Just one more day. What I wouldn’t give for one more day with her.

Tears tried to form, but I brushed them away. I had to stay focused on my tasks at hand.

The big clock at the front of the bus read six thirty. We would be arriving in about thirty minutes. Honestly, I had no idea what my next step was. My mom had said go to the bank first. There was money there, but it didn’t seem smart to be walking around with a large amount until I figured out where I was staying. The two women in front of me continued to chatter. They seemed knowledgeable about the area as they talked about different places they were going to visit while they were here visiting.

Leaning out into the aisle, I asked the women, “Excuse me, can I ask you a few questions about Fayetteville?”

Maybe this would help me get my game plan together or some semblance of one.

One turned around. “Yes, yes. Come sit beside us and ask away. We come here a lot.”

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