She wanted a home.
Yes, that was it. She wanted to build a home with him.
But he didn’t.
He thought himself a whore.
Her eyes fluttered closed as her heart clenched yet again, and her teacup rattled in its saucer.
Was she only a job to him?
No.
No, she knew that wasn’t the case. Sheknewhe had feelings for her, but were they as deep as hers for him? Why wasn’t he willing to throw propriety to the wind and love her the way she wanted to love him?
Because he loves your brother too much.
Yes, that was it. She’d accused him of thinking of Alistair whenever they’d made love, but it was more than that; he was Alistair’s friend, but didn’t think himself worth as much. Hiro had taught Alistair to walk again, taught him to be the Duke he was… Alistair owed everything hewasto Hiro.
And Hiro didn’t see it.
“Amanda?” Olivia whispered.
Amanda opened her eyes to see that Amelia had joined Benny and Alistair on the rug in front of the tree, and was telling the lad enthusiastic stories about their childhood Christmases, since Alistair still preferred not to speak.
It was just the two of them on the sofa now, and from the way her sister-in-law was watching her with sympathetic eyes, Olivia knew something was wrong.
“Thank you,” she whispered, and Amanda was taken aback.
“For what?” she asked, leaning forward to place her tea on the small table, hoping her actions hid her distraction.
But her sister-in-law reached for her hand. “For being here. With us. When we know you would much rather be somewhere else.”
Thinking of all the holidays she’d missed, Amanda shook her head as she shifted to face Olivia, and said with all sincerity, “I am right where I’m supposed to be. With my family. I love you all.”
“Yes, but not everyone you love ishere.”
Amanda reared back, lips parting, but uncertain what to say.
And Olivia nodded ruefully. “Alistair misses him too, you know.”
“Who?” Amanda croaked.
“Hiro,” the other woman whispered. “His best friend. The only man he trusted enough to look out for you. The man he’s been sending money to for years to make certain you are safe and happy and having the adventures you deserve to have.”
Amanda stared in surprise.
Olivia’s lips curled upward slowly. “Oh, don’t say you haven’t figured it out?”
“We…” Amanda licked her lips and tried again. “We cannot all be newspaper investigators.”
“Yes, well, Alistair isn’t fond of me activelyinvestigatinganymore these days, but I like to think the instinct is still strong.” She leaned closer, until her shoulder was mere inches from Amanda’s. “But this took no investigation, my dear. Your brother loves you, and desperately wants you to be happy. If that means gallivanting around the world, then he would happily pay his best friend to make it happen.”
Alistair had paid Hiro to keep her happy. But…not the way Hiro had insinuated.
“I love him,” she whispered, the confession slipping out before she could think better of it.
But instead of being scandalized, Olivia squeezed her hand. “We thought as much. And hopefully he loves you?”
