I spy the girls at a table in the far corner, but they don’tsee me straight away. Primrose is there as well, which makes me smile because Ihaven’t spoken to her in ages and I’d like to pick her brains a bit about whatit’s like in those first few weeks of being a new mum. Funnily enough, I sawher yesterday when I was sitting in the sun on the bench next to the duck pond,but her little boy was screaming his head off in the pushchair and Primroseclearly just wanted to get him home. She threw me an agonised, apologeticglance, gave me a wave and hurried off towards the high street.
I have a feeling I might get a warts and all description ofmotherhood from Primrose after that little display. I’ve never seen anyone moveso fast with a pushchair!
The three of them – Primrose, Maddy and Ellie – are all huddledtogether talking, and judging by their expressions, it looks serious.
Maybe something’s happened at the café?
As I walk over, Maddy suddenly looks up and sees me. Hereyes widen and she nudges Primrose, who stops talking immediately and looksover. It’s clear she’s shocked to see me but she quickly arranges her face in asmile.
What the hell’s going on?
‘Hi, everyone. How’s things?’ I ease myself into a seat witha sigh. ‘I’m desperate for an iced bun with lashings of butter. I’ve beendreaming about iced buns all day.’
‘No iced buns, I’m afraid,’ says Ellie. ‘I was going to getyou one because I knew that’s what you’d want.’
‘No iced buns?’ I stare at her in horror, my worldcollapsing around my ears, or at least that’s how it feels. Why does theslightest little blip seem so overwhelming these days? ‘What, no iced bunsatall?’
Ellie shakes her head, looking anguished on my behalf. ‘Whatabout a toasted teacake with butter instead?’
I nod. ‘I guess so.’ I can’t believe how deflated I feelover a bloomin’ iced bun! But I guess all these weird symptoms will vanish oncethe babies arrive. I hope they do, anyway. Otherwise, I will end up the size ofa small bungalow and locked up for my own safety.
‘So... Fen. How are things?’
I look up from spreading butter on my still warm teacake alittle later, to find Maddy gazing at me with a rather pained expression.
‘Fine.’ I nod cheerfully and take a large bite of thebuttery teacake lusciousness. ‘Well, Rob’s demolishing all my heartburn tabletslike sweets because he’s coming out in sympathy with me again. But apart fromthat, everything’s brilliant!’
‘You’re sure? Because you can tell us, you know, if there’sanything – um – going on.’
I stare at Maddy, puzzled, as she wriggles uncomfortably inher seat. Has she got piles? That pained expression. But even Ellie didn’t cracka smile when I mentioned Rob’s pregnancy symptoms...
‘Is... everything all right with youthree?’ I glance from one concerned face to the next and the next. Something’sdefinitely going on. Not that it’s going to stop me finishing this teacake andpossibly ordering another one.
‘Oh... we’re fine,’ says Primrose quickly.‘It’s just... are you really okay?’
‘Yes! How many times?’ I frown, exasperated.
Ellie leans forward and touches my hand, which means I’mforced to put the teacake down for a minute. ‘You can talk to us. You knowthat, don’t you?’
‘Yes. You can,’ says Maddy earnestly. ‘And you won’t get anyjudgement from me, I promise. We’re on your side.’
Ellie nods. ‘We’re there for you, Fen,’ she murmurs. ‘I knowit’s corny but it’s true about a trouble shared being a trouble halved.’
I pop the last bit of teacake into my mouth and eyeball themall, munching thoughtfully. ‘Okay, out with it. What’s going on?’ I say atlast.
Primrose hasn’t said anything yet but her face is bright redas she glances at my bag. I turn to look. It’s open on the table next to me. ‘Isaw you sitting on the village green bench the other day. Withthat.’She points at the ziplock bag lying on the top and shakes her head. ‘Honestly,I didn’t know what to think.’
‘Oh, this?’ I pull it out, going a little red myself now. ‘Right,well, I knew I’d probably have some weird cravings during pregnancy –especially having a multiple birth. But I never imagined for a moment that itwould come to this, girls. I haven’t even told Rob yet.’
‘Well, you can tell us,’ Maddy murmurs.
Ellie nods. ‘The first step towards recovery is admittingyou have a problem.’ She leans towards me with a sad but gently encouragingsmile.
I gaze at the contents of my little plastic bag and finally,the penny drops.
I look around at the worried faces. With a sigh (and a fewloud grunts) I haul myself to my feet. ‘Okay. I guess I should do thisproperly. Confessions and all that.’
I take a deep breath and blow it out slowly.
