She nodded. “He offered me a choice: keep the babe or keep him. I chose the harder route and left him. It took a while but having grown up around the docks and having an understanding of the various aspects of shipping, I was able to find employment, keeping track of inventory for Mr. Martin Parker. He has several large merchandise stores. I’ll never be wealthy, mind you, but I have been able to ensure that my son never went hungry. Do you ever see my father?”
“Occasionally.”
“Is he well?”
“He is. And successful.”
Tears welled in her eyes. “It’s amazing how your life can be destroyed in only a few minutes.” She shifted her gaze from Rook to Leonora, and she was left with the sense that this woman was trying to warn her.
In only a few minutes, with a discovery, her own life’s path had been diverted. Everything she’d planned, everything she’d hoped for was no more. Instead, it was church bells and a life over here, a life she’d never considered wanting. It seemed wrong that her dreams had to be put aside because her mother wanted to step into a particular ballroom. She was more sympathetic toward Rook’s desire to be seen as a man who kept to the moral high ground, but she’dfound that when it came to sexual transgressions, men were more easily forgiven than women. Men, especially those of the aristocracy, seldom were tainted because of their passionate natures. That had been the overarching theme ofMy Secret Desires, a book she’d recently read.
“Will you tell him what a fine lad his grandson is?” Rachel asked.
“Perhaps you should.”
“He won’t give me an audience. I was such a disappointment, you see. But then I suppose I was a disappointment to you as well.”
“We’re not here to discuss our past. I’m striving to make amends to those the previous earl fathered.”
“It’s so like you to feel responsible for his actions.”
“I don’t feel responsible for his actions. I do, however, intend to return some dignity to the title he held that has now come to me. One hundred pounds. If you wish to receive it”—without taking his eyes from her, he reached for a piece of foolscap and moved it to the far end of the desk—“write down where it should be delivered each month.”
The woman squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her lips firmly together until they disappeared. Leonora wondered if she was struggling with her pride. Or was it the amount that caused her to hesitate? She gave a barely perceptible nod, opened her eyes, and patted her son’s shoulder as though to convey this was for him. Then she leaned forward, dipped pen in inkwell, and began scrawling out the information.
Leonora had never wished so hard that the writing machine wasn’t so heavy, was more easily transportable from place to place because she suddenly realized whypeople thought it impersonal. She didn’t want Rook looking at that bit of paper each month and thinking about the woman who had left her clearly identifiable mark upon it. As well as upon his heart.
In all these years, why had he never loved anyone else? Why had he never courted anyone? She was struck with the awful realization that perhaps he was still in love with Rachel.
When she was finished, Rachel placed the tips of her fingers at the bottom of the paper and moved it toward him in a manner that reminded Leonora of tiptoeing through their hotel room, striving not to be caught sneaking out or in late at night. Taking it, Rook placed it on a small stack to his left—no doubt the addresses of everyone he would be paying each month. For his father’s transgressions.
He turned his attention to the boy. “I want you to know, Jack, that I recently had the opportunity to become friends with a couple of my other brothers, which makes them yours as well. It’s been quite a rewarding experience. I’ll introduce them to you if you like.”
“Yes, please, sir.”
“My lord,” Rachel corrected quietly. “You should address him asmy lord.”
Leonora wondered if the woman regretted that she’d lost her opportunity to be his lady.
“We don’t need to be so formal, Jack. But know you are welcome to call upon me at any time. Should you require any further assistance, you need only let me know.” He shoved himself to his feet and yanked on a nearby cord. “Simpkins will see you out.”
Rachel elegantly rose from her chair. “Felicitations on your upcoming nuptials. I do hope you’ll be happy.”
“I have no reason not to believe I will be.”
It wasn’t a declaration of love. As a matter of fact, he expressed no emotion at all. He might as well have announced that the sun was an orb. She wished he’d looked at her with something akin to adoration. Instead, he kept his gaze fastened on the woman who had broken his heart, and Leonora was left with the impression that he was seeking to punish himself or Rachel. Perhaps both.
“Simpkins, see Miss Kennedy and her son out.”
So focused on the tableau before her, Leonora hadn’t seen or heard the butler arrive. But because she was steadfastly watching Rook, she was acutely aware of his tense shoulders visibly relaxing when their guests were no longer visible. He marched over to the sideboard and splashed scotch into two glasses. She’d barely stood when he handed one off to her before taking up vigil at the window and looking out on the gardens. He drank a long swallow of scotch. She indulged in a ladylike sip when she felt anything but ladylike. She wanted to destroy something, couldn’t quite understand these feelings—a need to protect, a desire to save—rampaging through her.
Quietly she approached him. “You’ve had a challenging day.”
“Fourteen brothers and nine sisters—not counting Aiden and Finn, of course. I’d always believed—hoped—that the rumors regarding his... insatiability were greatly exaggerated. There are no doubt more progenies, those who didn’t yet see the handbills or weren’t quite comfortable making an appearance today. They may eventually come out of the woodwork. Then there are the ones who perished. Christ,he ensured if they survived, they’d have harsh lives. What a bastard.”
“How do you know they are all his? Some could have lied hoping to earn a buck.”
His profile was to her, but she saw the corner of his mouth hitch up. “Pound.”
