He faced her fully and leaned against the edge of the window. He took a sip of his scotch and licked lips she’d gone too long without tasting. “I could see shadows of him in most of them—the eyes, the nose, the chin, the jaw.”
Did they have your beautiful mouth? Did they do wicked things with it?
“I suppose it’s possible that some weren’t,” he continued pensively. “I would have thought over the years he’d become more cautious about leaving a trail that led to him, but to be honest, I don’t think he cared. Maybe he decided all these children were proof of his prowess. But if they came here today, I couldn’tnothelp them, whether they were his or not.” Another sip, another lick. “Still, I think most were. Funny thing. I grew up always wanting a sibling.”
“Sometimes a sibling can be... irritating.”
“But I suspect your brother loves you unconditionally. Thank you for being here today. I preferred not to do this at the earl’s residence because I didn’t want my mother to suffer through how many there were. Or to be reminded of how many she gave up before she was allowed to keep me. Women should not be at the mercy of cruel men.”
“Is that the reason you offered Rachel one hundred pounds a month?” She couldn’t believe she’d asked.“So she could take care of herself and her son, if need be? Wouldn’t be at anyone’s mercy, save yours?”
Other than a slow blink as he studied her, he didn’t move, and she was left with the impression he was assessing her, perhaps finding her lacking. She hadn’t meant to be so forceful with her questioning.
Finally, he looked back out the window. Dusk was settling in, and it threw shadows over his face. “Perhaps I wanted to boast a little that I had the means. Mostly I was concerned with the lad. He was the youngest who came here today. Eight or nine. The others ranged in age from fifteen to nearly forty. My father left his seed throughout London for a good long while, apparently.”
“How do you know the boy isn’t yours?”
As it landed on her, his gaze held tenderness, and she wondered if he had surmised that she was plagued with doubts about their future. “Because as I told your mother, I have no bastards.”
“But you loved her. Isn’t it possible—”
He laid a hand against her cheek, and she wanted to turn her head toward it and press her lips to its center, but she held still, their gazes locked. “Because she and I never went beyond a kiss.”
She felt as though all the air had suddenly left her body with relief.
“Because with her,” he continued, “I was able to control my baser instincts. Which makes me wonder... why it is that I can’t seem to keep my hands, my mouth, off you?”
“It must have been hard, though, to see her again.”
He shook his head. “I would have thought so aswell. Instead, I was inappropriately distracted, wondering if I removed that black frock from your person if I’d find that black corset hidden beneath it.”
She released a little laugh, and Rook wondered when it was that he’d come to love her laughs. He knew that seeing Rachel again, after all these years, should have been like a punch to the gut, but it had taken him a few minutes to even notice her because all his attention had been on Nora when she glided into the room, all lithe and willowy and tall enough that he barely had to bend his head to take her mouth.
And at the sight of her, he’d wanted nothing more than to do as Aiden had suggested that first night: take her in his arms, lean her back a bit, press his lips to hers, and sigh as though he’d never been so entranced.
She mesmerized him at the oddest times—when he should be mourning and bleak. As a matter of fact, he had been desolated as his father’s offspring had paraded through. Then she’d come in, bringing with her a breath of fresh air and a ray of sunshine. Nothing seemed unobtainable, nothing seemed gloomy, when she was near.
It was the lad more than Rachel who had distracted him and finally caused him to turn his attention away from Nora. He’d seen too much of himself in Jack. The yearning for approval, the fear that it wouldn’t be forthcoming. The embarrassment, the shame. A boy as young as he should experience none of those emotions. He should have a time of carefree living before the responsibilities of life were thrust upon him.
When he’d finally noticed Rachel, the surprise ofher had more to do with the fact that the lad was hers than seeing her again. The years had not been gentle with her, and perhaps that had played a role in the amount he’d settled upon them, so the years to come could be kinder.
What had astonished him the most, however, was that looking at her had stirred to life no sense ofshe was once mine. He tried to recall what it had been like to be in love with her. How easy it had been to walk beside her without thinking about the treasures he’d find beneath her skirts. How often they simply sat beside each other without a need to touch or to slip away unseen for a bit of naughtiness. How she’d had no goals other than marriage. How she’d only ever considered her needs, not those of others. How she hadn’t looked at a man struggling to hold a pen and poured all her efforts into finding a way for him to continue to write out his thoughts.
How he’d managed to go five minutes or more without thinking of her.
Whereas the woman standing before him now was constantly on his mind.
“It wouldn’t be appropriate,” she said quietly.
It took him a few seconds to realize she was referring to the black corset instead of where his thoughts constantly drifted.
“We seem to do quite a bit that’s inappropriate,” he said. From the beginning with her, he hadn’t wanted to behave. He’d been like the ladies who visited the Elysium, seeking something they’d never experienced. It was the reason he’d returned to the club, searching for her, needing to confirm that a lady who sparked such magic in him could truly exist.
“And look at the trouble it’s gotten us into.”
Was it trouble? At first he’d been angry to have gotten caught in such a flagrant way that had destroyed his reputation for being above reproach. But even when she hadn’t been in the library with him today, knowing she was within easy reach in the parlor had brought comfort. And he’d lost track of the number of siblings who had told him that he had a right proper lady welcoming them into his residence. He’d wanted someone greeting them who was kind, generous, and understanding of the awkwardness they might be feeling. Who would put them at ease because she knew what it was to feel as if she didn’t quite belong. He wished she’d never been forced to experience any rebuffs, but he was also acutely aware that they no doubt contributed to her empathetic spirit.
“Will you stay for dinner? I can send a carriage for your mother.” He wasn’t yet ready for her to leave, and when he was finished with this business concerning his father, he’d have her with him every night. He’d depart for the family estate on the morrow, to see his father finally laid to rest.
